After meaning to for ages, I've finally bitten the bullet. I love a good Penis thread (seems to always boil down to that) so entirely appropriate that I do it now.
You guys know that the Penis Beaker thread is famous right? Mention Penis Beaker on any Aus parent's forum and everyone knows what one is.
We have to behave though which sucks (and means lot brilliant stories remain untold) but we always have a few that stick for years.
Two would fit in here. One is the farmer with a case of free willy. His new gf didn't know until he actually TOLD her that night. I have no fucking idea why, it's certainly a mood killer.
He was in the paddock with bobby calves and didn't realise apparently that his willy had somehow escaped so very cleverly on it's own and was flapping in the wind. It then also took him even longer to realise a bobby calf had had decided it was a convenient teat and sucking away like all bobby calves do.
The OP had posted basically to ask how the hell to get it through to her friend (the new gf) that it was whooole lot of amazing coincidences and bobby calves not only have sandpaper like tongues but can suck like a Dyson.
Apart from the hysterics we just REALLY wanted to know the address, though a visit by the RSPCA may be in order lol.
Thread is still there, the OP deleted what she said but you get the gist.
One thread that vanished (we need a Classics forum too, so many want one) but stuck is carrot boy. If memory serves me right it was the OP's DH too.
Turned out that while she slept he'd been making midnight forays to the fridge and not to eat. If I'm right in how it happened it was the she woke up for some reason and noticed a slight light in the kitchen from the open fridge and probably though her kids were raiding it.
Not quite.
Seems her DH had a very special love for carrots. A REALLY special one. And once that had sunk in then another even worse thought came to mind. Just how many carrots had been served up a dinner time?
I'll pop back with mine and see if DD 17 is reading (I sent her link). We'll all know if she is when she works out which one is her father.
But hello anyway and yes, I just HAD to pick such a cliched name. I know there's a few of us here. My claim to fame however is that I'm from Tassie which people always find, err, interesting.
Disclaimer I was born and raised in Vic....I use that a lot. I. Was. No. Born. Here. Just being clear.
Btw how the feck do you do smileys? The normal things didn't work. And shit, oops, that was a long intro. Sorry about that.