Penetration man

[Cameron2012]

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

Last one.

Body of a god, amazing bloke with acne. He would squeeze his spots and then a clear fluid would come out. I would say something along the lines of "try not to pick, you know you shouldn't" or something crap, at which point he would wipe the clear fluid off and touch me or the milk carton or the table. I would always feel a bit sick about the spot juice. Had to end it, couldn't handle the juice.

Oooh i had one once who was rather well hung. Only trouble is he couldn't get it up. Felt a bit sorry for him really but unfortunately we couldn't keep it secret as there happened to be more than one of us there at the time

Thought it might just be nerves so tried again when it was just me the next day and same thing happened.

He was so up himself about his "big feet" to start with.think we broke him he did text me some time later but I didn't bother

Dumped one for having a pencil willy (they are soooo creepy!!)

Another when he kept boasting about his holidays to Thailand and it became clear that they were just shagfests. I'll say no to the clap thanks very much

Another who brought me round a 32 inch TV plus about 20 other gifts on only our second date (it was for Christmas) Sweet I suppose but it freaked me out.

Dumped one for having a pencil willy (they are soooo creepy!!)

Another when he kept boasting about his holidays to Thailand and it became clear that they were just shagfests. I'll say no to the clap thanks very much

Another who brought me round a 32 inch TV plus about 20 other gifts on only our second date (it was for Christmas) Sweet I suppose but it freaked me out.

DTD with a guy who was uncircumcised but the foreskin wouldn't pull down and the hole, rather than being at the end was about 2 inches down the underside.

When he came, it smelled like stale wee.

LavenderRains- I am pleased I'm not the only one who has crossed the horizontal brother's line 😜!!! Oh yes.. Cameron2012 sorry, when I used to go out on those long lost girlie wine fuelled nights there was this gorgeous muscled guy... he unfortunately was the twin of Martin Clunes from the neck up....anyway my bestie persuaded me to go out with after months of me refusing.. I dumped him on that first date night with an hour... By getting the same bestie to call me with an "hysterical SOS call" where I was needed urgently. I then hooked up with another gym guy who had texted me asking if I wanted to meet for a drink..very, very shallow 😳

This is from my single middle age. Guy didn't stop talking about himself all evening but I thought it might have been nerves, so gave him the benefit of the doubt. We got back to my flat and there was definitely some chemistry so we ended up DTD. Very quick, very selfish, then he got straight up to go home. I was furious and told him why. His reply was, "But I thought ladies didn't have orgasms." He was a scientist for goodness sake!

Uh oh, Mumsnet Madness is onto us, which means the exploits here are going to be combed through and posted on Twitter so they and their followers can be shocked at the concept of mothers talking about sex!

I once dumped someone for the way they tied their shoelaces.

Honestly though, it was really over the top - knots on knots on knots.
He was a really sweet chap though...

grumpysquash was it the same person?! Do we know yet?

You've NO idea how this thread has cheered me up - ancient (mid seventies), arthritic but still up for a laugh. Got one more 'why I dumped him' posts (two are further up-thread).
Like a stupid twit, I married straight from school (to get away from parents). Didn't realise he was a mean, greedy psycho. I finally saw the light on Christmas Day, mid 1960s. He knew I 'wasn't happy' (understatement of the century) but made sure I was even unhappier by standing over me insisting that I sat at the table and forced down turkey and all the trimmings. With the business end of a loaded 12 bore shotgun rammed in my left ear ...

I lived to tell the story ... he didn't pull the trigger, I ran out of the house and phoned a friend from a call box. Her boyfriend quickly left their own Christmas celebrations, came from miles away to collect me and bless them, they put me up at their flat until I sorted myself out. I divorced husband. He kept EVERYTHING - house, car etc., that I'd helped pay for. I was so young and naïve ... I was just grateful to have got away with my life.

oldgrandmama fucking hell!!!

old grandma oh my god. You poor thing!

Last night with dh, immediately after he came, he said "There you go!"

I sent him the link to this thread the day before . Totally ruined the moment !

It's a well known fact among my friends that I only date people with iPhones...

grumpysquash was it the same person?! Do we know yet?

It wasn't the golfer, does that help?

He was a bit short and a bit prem too. Does that help?

I really can't say his name, it wouldn't be right at all

Why don't you two message each other and then let us know if it was the same bloke? You don't have to tell us his name!

soap I had a boyfriend the back of whose head annoyed me. It was irritatingly flat and I had this awful desire to smack it. He had to go.

So did the one with unrefined calves.

That's a good idea! We don't want to know who he is grumpysquash, just if its the same person! I bloomin love this thread. Don't slow down people keep them coming!

It's!

I dumped a guy (not the only reason, but one of the reasons) who couldn't pronounce the word nuclear. He said it like "new killer". Annoying as f**

all this 'I dumped him because of the way he tied his shoelaces' stuff..

thats not the real reason is it, the real reason is you just weren't into him, if you are really into a person then the trivial things dont register so much

I had one...well, it wasn't really a relationship, but anyway....With hindsight I can see clearly that he was a manipulative narcissist, but I was naive at the time. He was so far up his own arse that he was practically licking his own tonsils. Had a mane of curly hair that he clearly loved and considered to be one of his best 'features' when in truth he looked hilarious and like he badly needed a haircut. It didn't help that he walked like a lopsided ape and his hair flopped about with every stride.

We were in a cafe one day, just talking, and he got up to go to the loo and as he passed my chair he bent down, thrust the top of his head at me and said "oh, go on then!" Startled, I asked "what?!" And he told me that if I wanted to, I could run my fingers through his hair I declined his offer, politely. In truth, I was thinking WTF?? Who wants to immerse their hands in someone else's mane when you don't know what's occurring beneath the surface?? He plainly imagined he was irresistible. He wasn't.

Laughing my my head of at some of these.

I have a few, not relationships just a few dates.

Tore his shirt of at the top of my stairs after a night out Tarzan type thing, ripped the buttons off!

Told me he wanted to attack me with his heat-seeking missle.

Chatting online and asked me to Skype him and watch him take a shower. We had only chatted a couple of times. Hinted he was keen on water sports in the shower ifykwim

All different people

I dated a chap who thought the wooden carvings in the woods were cute. I mean, fair enough but he actually spoke to them!!

Another chap continually said, "well T (his best mate) says..."
Well sod off and marry T then

He used to squeeze my boobs and say 'honk honk' when we were in bed...