Penetration man

[Cameron2012]

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

homemade hydraulic sex toys

I am CRYING

It would seem that there is a goodly section of the male population so habituated to their personal masturbatory practices that they are unable to have sex with a willing female

I went on a date with a guy who turned up in a chenille jumper, then got ID-ed despite being older than I was. I just couldn't after that.

One guy who, the first time I stayed over got up really early, put on some awful film (I recall Sean Connery and a submarine - Hunt for the Red October?) and watched it cuddling a very old very well loved teddy bear.

Big, tall strapping rugby player with a reputation for being a bit of a ladies man, but when we got down to it he had a tiny penis & couldn't sustain an erection.

Such a let down isnt it when the big strapping man just doesn't walk the walk😩

shiningexample completely. He was great in many other ways. I'm still friends with him on Facebook. He has a son and I am STILL flummoxed as to how that happened, clearly she's doing something I wasn't!

First one, ONS and the guy kept asking me if he could please finish, over and over....definitely a yes as frankly I was bored. But He took ages then thanked me profusely with tears in his eyes, I mumbled no problem and practically ran out of there, sweet guy but just no.
I've also met a pencil penis I literally couldn't feel it.

Penis size is such a lottery
No way to tell in advance!
I suppose that's why they're all so keen to send those charming photos to all and sundry😂

*grumpySquash I have to commit the ultimate sin of not reading the full thread, to ask if 'mummy' man has a name beginning with J and a surname that is a well known flower...

Errmmm, yes to both. This was at a Northern Uni ~1990, so he would be late 40's now. Is it him??

I need to know if this was the same person.
This thread is sort of mesmerising*

And I want to know if it's Justin Rose (the golfer!)

I've lost track - is 'mummy man' the one who insisted on doing the deed while wearing a pair of his mums tights with a hole cut out for his todger?

I thought of Justin Rose too!

The worst was probably the guy who had a penis like a toadstool and mauled my boobs so badly they were left bruised

I feel sorry for some of these guys

I also, apart from 'Farting Man' (see upthread) went out with an actor. His pleasure was to dress me up in a black dustbin bag, with, ahem, 'strategic' cutouts, like a sort of weird 'shift dress', and get me to (gently) hit him with a ruler. He took a couple of photos of me, with (thank God) a Polaroid camera and I immediately confiscated the photos. He said he had a 'thing' for 'mature ladies'. I have DVDs of a couple of the films he was in and always have a good snigger when I watch them for old times' sake.

This was back in the 1990s - I'm an old crone now but I had a rather misspent middle-age.

I was just coming on to say the same thing Shining.

This thread has been half amusing and half left me feeling awfy sorry for some poor blokes who can't do right for doing wrong. I have a lot, but done a fair bit as well.

I feel particularly sorry for those blokes out there who have, through no fault of their own, been cursed with a small penis. What a shitfest that must be.

I've been out with some real tiny button mushroom dicked men but most of them compensated in other ways or knew how to use it well, I've never been put off by size. There was only one where his size was an issue and he didn't bother to compensate in any other way (think are you in yet?) what he ended up doing - thrusting his hips but using his thumbs instead of his cock- was so off putting and he was a stalkey arsehole so deserves ridicule.

ShiningExample

^Penis size is such a lottery
No way to tell in advance!
I suppose that's why they're all so keen to send those charming photos to all and sundry😂^

Ah! I hadn't thought of that. I think you might be onto something there. I've recently got back into dating and wondered why they were so keen to send a shot of their cock before we'd dtd or even met in one instance. That must be it. "Look what I've got" type of statement. of course now, if I meet someone and he doesn't immediately send me a cock shot, I'll be worried he's small, acorn shaped or pencil shaped!

The one who arranged for his sister to come and give me a makeup lesson and asked if I would just wear skirts.Didnt hang around much longer and years later still wear little more than mascara and lippy.

MaudlinNamechange
Do you think the tiny penis men can have children? Does it go in enough?

Yes they can and yes it does (and even if it doesn't there's artificial insemination so not the end of the world). I know of two men with micro penises who are now fathers.

It's a shame that there are no sufficinetly successful surgical or hormonal treatments to date.

dontpoke - penis like a toadstool

I honestly thought I couldn't laugh any harder.....and then you posted that

Mind you...I've never received a photo where the organ was presented against a ruler and with a tape measure around the circumference😂

I hear There is a big penis stretching subculture

I feel like I want to go out for a drink with you ladies

There are things in this thread you wouldn't mind if it was your DH/DP and you loved them. Often it's the wrong person doing the wrong thing that makes it so completely off-putting. And I think it's worth saying that the lazy large-penised men are getting as much abuse as the small penis men who don't compensate in other ways. Must be awful, though, to have the wrong kind of knob.

Often it's the wrong person doing the wrong thing that makes it so completely off-putting
Introduction of sexual quirks far too early!

Diane it was like one of these (shape, not colour obv). I shit you not.