Penetration man

[Cameron2012]

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

*oh, and he asked me if he could bring a NUN'S outfit for next time.

Err, no. There was not going to be a next time.

Lulu I have lived a sheltered life. What is a Gonzo Dick?

Hazarding a guess it relates to Gonzo!

I will leave this here for you Lulu.

That's Gonzo. Now imagine someone trying to shag you with the penile equivalent of Gino's nose...

Gonzo. Not Gino. Who the fuck is Gino, o gods of autocorrect?

Gino 😂😂

I'm glad you've just put the idea of the thumb and Frank Butcher out of my head (briefly!) so thank you for that Energ

I may have ended it with someone because of their height... I'm 5ft 11 and he was 5ft 2 (it was a tinder hook-up so I assumed he was tall). The sex made it even more awkward.

All different people!

1. had a bald head and when we were shagging sweat used to drip off his head all over me.

2. micro penis. Unfortunately he was my boss. Very awkward.

3. offered to come and be my 'snuggle buddy' after one date when I was ravaged with flu.

4. on the third date we had sex. I noticed that he was wearing a cock ring. On the first time, with no prior suggestion that tonight was the night. He must have always had it in his pocket.

Got it

Who the fuck is gino 😂😂😂😂

My username actually comes from a "romantic" experience I had as an 18 year old with black hair and wild red natural bush. It's what he said when we got down to it. It actually made me laugh as he was ginger too. By god he was gorgeous. Absolutely stunning to look at. I was little and chunky. It was the gossip of the decade when I pulled him. My mates were jealous. I've seen him in adverts over the years and often think about his "Yes! Firecrotch!" outburst. :o

I bought home a guy who had the biggest willy ever. It was massive. He just couldn't keep it hard. I felt bad for him but the moment was killed when he said "It's ok. I'll just thumb it in. Happens ALL the time." I made my excuses and left him to sleep in my bed while I went downstairs to sleep on the couch.

One guy I pulled kept saying how he'd never been with a big bird before. Idiot me still shagged him but I threw his shoes out of the window. It was so funny. He was walking around going "Did I have shoes on last night? Did I?" I was like "ooh I think so. I'm not sure actually..." He calls a taxi and sees his shoes in the middle of the road, all run over and squashed. He just pretended not to see them even as the taxi drove over one. :o

My ex used the word 'logisitics' in bed several times.

Blind date. He took me for a drink. I had a glass of wine; he ordered a pint of milk. It somehow got mixed up in his poorly-executed moustache while he spent about an hour explaining the entire plot of the West Wing, without letting me get a word in edgeways. He was astonished when, as we left the pub, I said I didn't think there was much potential for a romance between us.

date 1 kept grabbing my boobs saying does that turn you on eh no
Date 2 told me in graphic detail how he was going to have mind blowing sex with me. I'd hardly started eating my soup.
Date 3 wanted anal and kept nudging his cock there. I was not up for this at all. Told him so 3 times to the point I got up, dressed and left
Exh fucked like rabbits till we wed huge mistake as he only wanted it in missionary and once a week. Shocked wasn't the word. I knew I should of lived with him first
Date 4 had a tiny penis and got huffy when I wanted other positions.
ExP sex life ok in beginning but then took a weird turn. He admitted he only wanted me in basque, suspenders etc as it was the only way to come other than wanking over my ass. Then he wanted to dress in them too end of relationship there
Date 5 back into the dating game he said he couldn't fuck me as I didn't shave told him to fuck off
Date 6 wanted to take pics of me naked that ended rapidly but he kept sending me dick pics for weeks
Date 7 asked me to piss on him I declined
There is more

Oh i alsmost forgot...my first sexual encounter with a bf. He was absolutely gorgeous, and we had kissed before and the first time we decided to fool about, (the first time id done anything with a guy) he started to finger me and then proceeded to start singing like a virgin by madonna...i was just...

I was going out with a lovely bloke once when I was in college. He was a fair bit older than me, but he was really lovely and gorgeous (and had very close links with a famous indie/alternative band so we got to have some cool nights out together). But his accent made me want to heave. It was an accent that a lot of people I know find really attractive too, but after a while I just couldn't take it anymore. It's making me cringe thinking about it.

Oh! I touched a Gino dick once. I had blocked it out forgotten. That's as far as it went, I was inexperienced and it freaked me out. I think I said I had a headache but he knew it was his 🍌 dick. I think he asked if it had put me off, I lied but he knew. I do feel bad about that but I just couldn't.

I had a boyfriend in high school who cried after sex every single time we had sex.. He was a really nice lad too, but it was too awkward after a while..

'Love Handles' used to hold my ears when he dtd. I'd shake him off then a few minutes later his hands would creep back again.

Wasn't Professer Brian Cox was it Kilgrave? After he stopped being a member of that hideous band, D-Ream, the song Tony Blair used in his ad-campaign?

Actually, I'm going to have to post the . And why did they use an Hieronymus Bosch painting in it?

"But thiiinngs can only get better"

lol at one's boss turning out to have a micro penis!!! awkward not the micro word. and talking of words, I also laughed at using the word logistics repeatedly in bed!

this thread gave me such a laugh

StylishDuck Both me and my husband frequently make my Mum say "Aye, there's been a murder" as she's Scottish! I feel like a terrible daughter now! The poor woman. Although I draw the line at DH making her repeatedly say "Purple burglar alarm" for his amusement as it's fairly difficult to pronounce with a thick Scottish accent.

Oh my god ChippyDucks just reminded me of the guy where I woke up with him crouching over me on the bed, leaning on my chest while wanking. When I opened my eyes he just whispered "Shhhh" and carried on till he came all over my face and hair. The previous night he'd made me watch Tin Tin as some kind of foreplay and he constantly referred to himself as being sexually great in a third person Partridge style voice " can open a bottle of coke with one hand while pleasing a sexy lady with the other". No, no you can't - bye. Thankfully my friends put an end to the relationship by being incredibly mean to him! He's now married with kids though so I feel like they helped him find his soul mate by being twats to him

Also I wasn't aware he was ginger until I removed his pants... He died the hair on his head black. I was genuinely confused by his ginger pubes for a while.

"I never understood the briefcase thing though, he worked in Asda as a shelf stacker"