Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

You must let us know OP if you ever hear from grabby bride.

I am sort of wondering so eg if someone is "really generous" eg whacks a cheque for £5,000 to people like these... Do they say thanks in an exuberant fashion or just go "ah well kerching and normal thanks".

Place marking for updates.
Have you tried cancelling the cheque op?

I'd agree with so many others and cancel the cheque if it's not already cashed though I suspect it is. I think I'd have to say something before cutting off contact though, and email back noting their astonishing greed and no, you will not be making an 'adjustment' to your already very generous gift. Unbelievably ungrateful and grabby

CHEQUE HAS BEEN CAAAAASHED

Great idea movpov

Wonder why OP hasn't just cancelled the cheque.

I would respond. I am sorry my gift offended, please feel free to return it.

An excellent response!

I think this thread wins the award for "Record Number of Posters NRFT And Asking the Bleedin' Obvious Question that has been Answered a Squillion Times"

Ohhh, Friend has done her work well! Love that you went out and got pissed, hilarious.
Also impressed that this is going round the web - hopefully it DOES get back to BrassfacedBride and she realises what a monumental arse she made of herself!

Nice work with the poem, Orchid!

Could it be a possibility that it could be a joke between the couple and it's gone horribly wrong . Ie they wrote a spoof version as a private joke because someone gave them a tenner or something and have accidentally this to everyone . They'd still be donkeys but it just seems like such a mad email to send that that there surely must be some explanation
I would probably have replied asking if they been hacked and see what was said .
Crazy stuff !

Well handled OP, I hope the penny has dropped with the grabby bride and groom (who shouldn't remain an innocent party in all of this).

Just out of interest, how much did gobby friend give as a present?

I received a present from an evening guest but the colour didn't match my decor so I tried to swap it as I knew M&S stocked lots of different colours. I laughed when I was told it was an old colour and couldn't swap it. It had obviously been regifted but I was grateful anyway.

I'm glad it gone viral. She should be named and shamed.

Apologies first of all for the illiterate drivel I wrote last night - I'd had a hell of a lot with "Mrs Indiscreet" and by god I've got the hangover to prove it

I can't remember if I said yesterday that I linked her to this thread; she's not on MN but it seems she's been sending it to every man and his dog, so bride will almost certainly see it sooner or later. Against that day I've blocked her completely on everything possible - I'm beyond caring now and she can swivel

Oh and orchidmoment that poem is beyond brilliant ... have you thought of doing this professionally??

Sorry - hadn't read whole thread before my post suggesting the bleeding obvious...have now though. That'll teach me

Oo no, you didn't say that you'd linked MsIndiscreet to the thread! !!

excellent move!

Which page is orchids poem on please...(over invested)

Welcome on board

I liked this idea over on SBs Twitter OP 😏
Obviously a bit late now, but just in case you happen across another ungrateful B&G in the future

No, no, No, NO! You can't block her! We NEED to know what she eventually says!!!

I wonder how Mrs indiscreet feels about being called Mrs indiscreet

I wondered that too MTPurse. Hope she isn't upset.

"I would respond. I am sorry my gift offended, please feel free to return it.

Snag with that is that bride didn't see it as a gift, she saw it as a contribution

It isn't actually compulsory to provide a wedding present, though it's nigh on universal practice. But it's not necessary to provide a 'contribution' to attend an event unless they are doing something clear about what is needed (like selling tickets) beforehand.

Wow! Just wow. How blooming rude can you be? I'd stop the cheque

That's outrageous!!! I would completely ignore them and yes cancel the cheque. They don't deserve a penny of your money!!

Stop the cheque! That's it.
At least it isn't to cancel it.