Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

Now, off to bed.

I didn't do wedding lists or any such thing when I got married. I got three toasters. My parents got us some towels and bits. I have no idea if my brothers got us anything. I can't remember if I got them anything when they got married either.

We exchange lovely, thoughtful gifts at Christmas and birthdays. They are incredibly generous to my kids too.

The last wedding I went to was rather unconventional. Dp and I got the bride and groom a leather bound Necronomicon as we knew they'd appreciate it.

Wow. I'll bet they didn't get three of them, Cat!!

My SIL who got married in the early 1980s in a world before wedding lists got nine sandwich toasters. When now-DH and I moved into a postgrad flat together in 1997, she gave us one as a housewarming present, still in its original packaging. The picture on the box had a smiling woman with a big Lady Di hairdo.

Scene Direction:

Overly dramatic Greedzilla stalks up to Puzzled. Throws down faded, wilting bridal bouquet at Puzzled's feet and screams:

Greedzilla; "You are dead to me, I tell you….DEAD!!!".

Puzzled looks puzzled. Picks up bouquet. Throws it in Greedzilla's mug and skips away singing "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" merrily.

Cut to close up of Greedzilla, shocked that Puzzled doesn't give a rat's ass. Aaand Fade out.

Cut. Take. That's a wrap.

What a bitch

Classics. Please.

This is a FINE thread.

I give you:

Will ORCHID [KSCHHHHHHHH]

Orchid - oohh brilliant!!
[bowing emoticon]

That is all.

here op:

you will need those in the morning,

offs just sober up and post the messages from your phone

ps, did you get round to cancelling that cheque?

Can't cancel cheques on sundays! ffs!

Don't forget to start a new thread in the morning, OP.

OHHH OP.

Wake up! It's time for coffee and an update on a new thread!

I wouldn't worry if Bridezilla is annoyed by lots of people knowing OP.

She shouldn't have sent such a message to anyone in the first place. Cheeky bint that she is.

Has anyone suggested OP sends a new cheque for £10,000 but as soon as its posted, call the bank and cancel it, so when it arrives there is no chance at all of them getting a penny?!

OP I'd make you and 🍳 just for an update!

If I were you I'd cancel the cheque.

Just out of interest was your blabber mouth friend also at the wedding? When you told her about the e-mail, did you tell her how much you gave? And did she tell you how much she gave? Interested to know if she gave more how much bridezilla considers acceptable. Or given her reference to your inheritance maybe it's based on percentages rather than actual figures. Perhaps the bride should have included a helpful formula to work it out in the invitation!

"I do love wedding season on mn"
"Is it always like this?" Oh yes, CharlieSierra, there have been some absolute corkers over the years

Place marking. You can't cancel cheque as it's been cashed. I like the idea of throwing a bag of coppers at her head.

Everyone needs a friend like insincere gossipy friend. Priceless!

Hope your head is not too sore today OP.

And that blabbermouth friend has told EVERYONE

Unbelievable -how incredibly rude, tasteless and greedy.

I would respond. I am sorry my gift offended, please feel free to return it. In addition, I would also paste the email on facebook and show them up for the grasping entitled revolting people they seem to be. Finally I would delete their contact details and remind yourself that life is too short to even waste thinking time about people like that.

Delighted to hear that fun indiscreet friend is doing her job! Hopefully it'll be common knowledge by now!

I'd have to email her and say that, of course, I was saving my main contribution for the divorce costs and to contact me when that was needed.

Then I'd cease all contact.