Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

Unbelievably rude!
I would ignore the email and only interact (at a very superficial level) if and when they contact you with an apology.
Your financial circumstances are private and your choosing (nothing to do with others)

Page 38 and people still saying "cancel the cheque" OP can I borrow your wall to bang my head against?!
Folks that haven't RTFT (and you really, really should, it's a classic) the wedding was a few weeks ago and the bride cashed the cheque immediately.
This has been brilliant, and linking Mrs Ind to this thread is a stroke of genius! Well done!!

And correct me if I'm wrong but isn't an invite list based on who you want to share your special day with and not who can give the biggest cheque?

I'd suggest editing the title if the thread wasn't at almost 1000.

CHEQUE
HAS
BEEN
CASHED

hth

Unbelievably rude. I would be gobsmacked if I'd received that email. £100 is a very generous gift to an ex colleague. I agree if your cheque hasn't been cashed I'd cancel it. I think an email asking them if they felt your gift wasn't generous enough what sum they thought was. I can only presume they had a per head cost on their day and we're hoping that everyone's money would pay for their entire wedding (dress and honeymoon included). Considering you also have incurred expense attending the wedding (outfits, travel accommodation etc) maybe you should ask for a contribution for that

I think "cancel the cheque" is the new "I haven't RTFT".

Best. Thread. Ever!

....'xcept for the one about making cake in a sandwich toaster, obvs!

Time for a thread name change THE CHEQUE HAS BEEN BLOODY CASHED. Dies at bring the email to the bank manager and he'll give money back

Bravo OP best thread in a long time. I hope whatever bridezilla spends the £100 on never brings her a minutes happiness.

thatorchid
There are no words adequate to praise your parody.

Puzzled send her Orchid's sonnet. Please. Just email it to her, it doesn't matter that she hasn't replied to your last; it is such a brilliant piece please please please send it to her.

Waves to Mrs Ind!

Please let us know if Mrs Grabby has seen the thread yet!

Cheeky Devils, obviously not a true friend then, get yourself to the bank and stop the cheque then delete from your phonebook, people like that don't deserve a penny from you

Zucker - I think we need to ask MNHQ to change the name of the thread!!

Seriously, cancelling the cheque is SUCH a good idea, 1000 messages in.

Someone start a new thread. We can't just not know how Mr. And Mrs. Fabulous New Entitled Life get on/do/respond.

And don't forget to cancel the cheque. The best idea ever. Dunno what's wrong with MN today that no one has suggested this. You're usually a clever lot.....

New thread pllleeaassee!

Oh yes, please start a new thread OP. We need to know if you managed to cancel the cheque.

Paxillin 'I think "cancel the cheque" is the new "I haven't RTFT". Definitely!

I await the thread about the christening of their first child.

I wish this page had a like button. Bloody marvellous reading!

OP have you set up a second thread yet? Pleeeeeeeeease do so if you haven't........

Well done, op, I have just read all your updates and much of the thread in the time its taken to drink a cup of tea and eat a piece of toast.

I actually don't find all the "cash the cheque" posts amusing at all.

I genuinely frustrates me that people do not have the COURTESY to at least try and catch the drift of the discussion without leaping in with their two pence worth. I find it bad mannered and arrogant. Its the online equivalent of barging in to a group of people talking in the pub and spouting opinions without any preamble.

One of the worst things about MN imo.

I would say that you feel disappointed that they were not satisfied with the gift and as a result you have cancelled the cheque. Who the hell do they think they are?!! I'm so shocked!! Wish them luck and then never see them again! Tell them to "feel free" to apologise...

YouTheCat, oh gosh yes, the christening of the first child. So expensive, and money doesn't grow on trees. Mr and Mrs GrabbyMcGrabby will tell themselves that OP will have forgotten about the wedding present debacle, and invite her expecting yet another generous gift.......

MN FODDER!!!!!!! I look forward to it

Bibbity I does take a while to read a 1000 post thread (with interruptions). I think it's because the OP was so outrageous people were incensed enough to reply without reading.

Great thread though - caught it at the beginning and it's been great watching it unfold.

The thread is now complete with the obligate "this is MN at its worst" post.

Sorry - I meant the original post, not the original poster, in my comment above!

OP Oh, and I'll visit the bank first thing tomorrow to cancel the cheque grin
That's a really good idea OP - I'm surprised no-one has mentioned that idea on here