Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

verytiredmummy1
Do take a nap.

unless you're taking the piss, it's hard to tell in some cases, and it's like the 1st of April in here today

We had a late invite to a wedding (we were certainly not on the first guest list, maybe not the second tier!) I was gobsmacked that the invitation said that they would prefer cash and for simplicity they had listed their account details so you could bacs transfer it over! This is a whole new level o rudeness. I to would cancel the cheque.

Oh goodie another one. Thanks. I might be some time!!!!! I do love mn wedding season!

Jesus

I'm nominating this for classics (in fact there ought to be a wedding AIBU classic thread all of its own.

liberated - love it - even if you don't smoke.

Op in all seriousness I would probably have been a little upset if I thought someone had invited me to their wedding because they thought I might be able to bung them a few quid (luckily will never happen). However, what I would say, is that the £100 you have given to those ungracious enough to receive it without unadulterated thanks , (and scant recompense, I know) has probably given a great many people huge entertainment - so not wasted.

I hope for the bride's sake at some point she feels embarrassed about that email. If not then - good luck to her.

This thread needs to go in classics.

OP, you could just cancel the cheque you know?

Sorry....

has probably given a great many people huge entertainment - so not wasted.

You gave them £100, there are 800 posts, so 12.5p per post. Bargain!
(Unless you've managed to stop the cheque by now............)

When my DB and his new wife left the venue after breakfast the following morning, they "forgot" to pay the bill. They were meant to pay the remainder of what the wedding venue, wedding breakfast and evening do. But they left to go on honeymoon.
The venue tracked my DM down who had to pay. Took months for them to pay her back.

I usually buy a token gift and include £25 in a card. I feel embarrased about not giving more, but it costs a lot to attend doesn't it!

I know the cheque had been cashed!!!

TheDevilMadeMeDoIt

Perhaps OP should email us all her bank details, and we can all deposit 13p?
That would recoup the £100, plus 40p interest!

Then send this thread to the bride, plus a screenshot of your newly replenished £100.40p

I love wedding season on mn.

'The venue tracked my DM down who had to pay'

Why? She wasn't legally liable for that.

Oops, £4 in interest, not 40p!!

OP could buy a glass of wine to sip while posing for a photo to put on Facebook with that, along with links to this thread and her topped up balance and tag the bride

LOVE that idea violet!

I would happily donate 13p, how does one go about setting up a GoFundMe page?! :o

Send her a cheque for £1000, second class (or slower if poss!) and run into the bank and cancel it immediately, so that by the time it arrives it's already dud.

Oops, £4 in interest, not 40p!!

She could use the extra £4 as the "adjustment" to her original generous gift. Personally I'd send it to her in 1p coins, without any postage paid and a printed copy of this thread by way of explanation and so the bride knows exactly who to thank for their contributions.

Just tell me where to send my 13p!

Ooh I love that idea BoatyMcBoat!! So clever

Absolutely going over the top here. I'll donate a whole fifty pence . Actually I'll give 15p and when OP asks me whether I'd like to "adjust" my donation , if she asks nicely I'll up it to 50p

What? The cheque is already cashed?!

Why didn't somebody say ffs

Bloody hell.

What? The cheque is already cashed?!

Why didn't somebody say ffs

Bloody hell

Fucking inconsiderate to miss out such a major part of the story. Talk about drip feeding.