Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

Let us know if they've demanded cash from anyone else when you see the other guests at the weekend, OP

Ooh ooh ooh send her another cheque and make it payable to "Mr and Mrs Grasping Cunt"!

Surely that's a joke?! I'd be phoning to find out, and cancelling the cheque if not.

We got a £10 M&S voucher from an old work colleague of mine who'd just won a couple of million on the lottery. We'd lost contact a bit and I was just touched she made the effort to come to my wedding, it was lovely to see her again. And I enjoyed shopping with my voucher when we came back skint from honeymoon and couldn't have justified spending any actual money on anything.

I never cease to be shocked by the level of selfish materialism that people display. Some people have no shame at all.

Placemarking for the update!

£100 is VERY generous. I'd be livid if I were you.
Could you send them 1p, just to make a point?

I love your reply and give you much respect from your calmness.

I cannot wait to hear if others got similar emails!

Cancel the cheque.

Tell them you've hired a herd of goats to do their garden (you can do it through Amazon), and they will be arriving on Monday. You trust they will be in attendence to indicate to the goatherd which plants they want to be preserved. If they're happy for everything to go, then they needn't be there.

Please please PLEASE Puzzled - if Mrs Greedy McMoneygrubber emails you back, reply to her (even if it's just to say "Goodbye"), but CC everyone in your contacts list so they can read her original email.
Also, I don't care if you just inherited a lot of money or won the lottery, that's nobody else's business and it certainly doesn't entitle anyone to your money!
£100 was very generous.

Following. I just HAVE to know the outcome of this.

Boaty please share the link where I can order a herd of goats, this sounds fantastic

Reply to the inevitable justifying email she sends saying you understand get pairing and you'll post an adjustment out asap. Send them a card. Make sure your address is on the envelope so she knows it's from you. Inside the card write something along the lines of:

'After much deliberation I've decided that after not only failing to thank me for my generous gift but also having the brass neck to ask for more, the only suitable adjustment would be to inform you that I no longer wish to be friends with someone so grasping and rude and am adjusting you out of my life.'

Post it. Without a stamp.

Get pairing? her position thanks autocorrect.

I have just read this whole thread as I could not believe that someone would have the audacity to email you as they have. As this is was an ex colleague and obviously not a close friend or family member £100 was more than sufficient for a wedding gift and your circumstances (recent windfall, inheritance or whatever) should have nothing to do with the amount you gifted. More than generous I would say.

Good response to the email but she sounds like an entitled, greedy and extremely entitled and jealous person. I think if she comes back with a response as to how much the wedding cost I would be inclined to respond on the lines of "If I had known my attendance at your wedding had such a high price tag I would have been tempted to decline your invitation being that it came with "strings attached". I don't suppose we will meet again so have a happy marriage and just remember money will not buy you everything.

I am blatantly place-marking. And you have a duty to fish for details this weekend.

I can not believe there are people this bloody awful out there! I'm not doubting the op at all, merely society! This is astounding.

I cant wait for the reply.

Blatantly waiting for the reply, someone with this much front won't be able to help themselves, their rudeness can only get worse!

Blueraptor here www.amazon.com/Hire-a-Goat-Grazer/dp/B00UBYDXXQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1462548659&sr=8-1&keywords=Goat+hire

OMG . I would say you would like to make an adjustment - to nothing! Cancel the cheque if possible. Bloody cheeky cow.

Can't you send an invoice for your:

Time
Outfit
Travel Expenses
Accommodation
And Appearance Fee

THEN cancel the cheque

My mouth is hanging open.
Can you stop the cheque?

I've only just read the OP, so reading that at Face value I would allow the cheque of £100 to be cashed as that is what you originally gifted before discovering what a complete cunt she is then do not engage in any further communication with her. Just block her completely out of your life.

Or

Publish her email on Facebook, Twitter, send to the daily mail etc and make her a laughing stock up and down the country.

The sheer audacity of her writing to you in that obnoxious manner makes me believe she has no manners, is full of herself and is a nasty cow.

Wow - awesome grabbiness.

When I got married I did it to get married, not for presents. I'm sure there were people who didn't buy us anything. I can't even name them, it mattered that they were there not what they gave us.

The OP has confirmed a number of times that the cheque has been cashed and cannot be cancelled.

Okay so I've now read the rest of the thread and see the cheque's been cashed, bugger!

I think she only invited you because she wanted a chunk of your new found wealth. Given that your bridges are burned anyway I'd be sorely tempted to forward that email to any mutual acquaintances you have.