My colleague has thrown my lunch in the bin

[DidYouBINmysushiyouTWAT]

What is the correct etiquette please?

You need not quote directly from Debretts.

If I weren't in the queue for the soggy salmonella sarnies left in Tescos- I'd write a longer OP.

Part Two here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2631196-My-colleague-has-twat-me-over-the-head-with-a-courgette - edited by MNHQ

I should have gone to sleep about half an hour ago but I was catching up. It was page 9 when I read last night and now we're on page 31! Dh fell asleep whilst I was reading...oh please let tonight be the night ds sleeps through for the first time or I'm gonna be so tired for work tomorrow!

If you can't get one of those dolls, I think multiple print outs would suffice.

Just like a jack in a box, this would be pretty damn cool to pop out when she opes the fridge door!

I'm disturbed that evilcherub posted straight after Tate

Any chance fridgey twat is a Mumsnetter? That could be an amusing standoff at work as surely she would recognise herself, but then again maybe not if she is that self absorbed.

No. No jumping out required.

Just one on top of the chicken/whatever meat she has in the fridge.

When she cooked her dinner it would be still be at the back of her mind...

Rainbow Cake, if FMFF is a MNetter, then she too, will be getting ideas from MN.....

I kinda miss working in the office! Milk was always paid for by company and as much as porridge eaters and latte drinkers could handle... It was the theft of pickled gerkins from the jar that belonged to my friend that was the constant drama! She started counting them daily and writing the number on the jar. We never found the culprit and she now works in a different department and I jumped st the opportunity to work from home! The fridge is all mine now! (And DP & DD, but I do the shopping!) haha.

My original advice to OP was going to be to donate the fridge full to a local soup kitchen or food bank... But my PA side says you need to do the note thing! Lots of notes on the fridge... Take a photo of your lunch before you put it in and put a pic on the fridge with the caption: my lunch, if it isn't where I left it then the powdered laxative I keep in my bottom drawer will be liberally sprinkled all over the fridge contents.

Good luck and I can't wait to find out how your friend gets on tomorrow!!!

Take all the shelves, including door shelves, out of the fridge and hid them.

This thread is going to run out of posts soon

Your boss sounds pathetic.

I'm a bit confused if you've asked her and she's said it wasn't her but I'd start taking one important ingredient from the fridge each day and binning it. Small enough not to be noticed till she gets home

Sorry but I don't understand - why are you disturbed, RainbowCake?

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm extremely invested in your plight.

After thinking about it long and hard, I reckon the absolute best course of action is to swap out the fuse for a blown fuse at the very end of the day. She'll arrive with her shopping that requires refrigeration the next day and is likely to be very flustered at the fact that the fridge is warm and broken and she's got bags of raw meat that need refrigerating. She'll either need to leave her shopping to spoil or she'll spend considerable time trying to solve the problem and therefore not working. Your boss understandably doesn't want to become a fridge mediator but their hand will be forced if they arrive in the office to find that a blown fuse on the fridge has stopped this woman doing her job.

If FMFF is too busy to do her shopping after work or at the weekend like normal people, then she's going to be far too busy to use Mumsnet.

I used to know a permanently busy person, who was always too busy to do stuff she thought sounded interesting when hearing the rest of us talk. Upon chatting, most of her activity appeared to revolve around cleaning the house and shopping. She would wash the kitchen floor when she got up, after her husband and kids had gone out to work/school, that time between the kids getting in from school and eating their evening meal and then once more before she went to bed. She was proud of the fact she went through 3 huge bottles of bleach a week.

Install a couple of these. Just make sure you padlock them all to the self. No way will she be able to remove them to fit her shopping in.

Ooooh, Fluffywuffy I gotta get me one of those. Never again to walk to the fridge to find the cake/chocs/soda that I specifically said "Don't touch this" is gone.

Oh, and I'm talking about my fridge at home!

I suggest that it's time to chill the beast's blood. Why not leave a suitably medical looking plastic bag containing a calf's brain (sadly available at many butcher's shops) and two similarly packeged kidneys, in the fridge, along with a very official looking note "For human transplant use. DO NOT DELAY, DO NOT contaminate or touch." with one or two old X-Rays and a print out of this document:

www.hta.gov.uk/sites/default/files/Code_of_practice_8_-_Import_and_export_of_human_bodies,_body_parts_and_tissue.pdf

Bundled together in a steel tray (out of sight under a starched white cloth) and put in fridge . She will doubtless look and memories of Idi Amin and the fridge he so gallently shared with his wives - well bits of them anyway - will come flooding back. I think her EasyFoodStore bags will vanish - probably everyone else's too.

Where on earth did you find that, Fluffy?

I'd go for the Biohazard tape as well, tbh. Crisscrossed all over the fridge with "CONDEMNED - toxic contamination" in big letters on a sign as well. And a dud fuse for good measure. Take the thing out of commission completely (while having brought in a cool bag yourself, of course) for a few days, until FMFF gives up - and then replace the fuse BUT leave all the tape and sign in place.

TAKE HER ON
TAKE HER ON
TAKE HER ON

Oh gosh I can't believe we have to wait ti Monday for the next installment!!!

This is mental!

No what you need Op is a glitter bomb inside a carrier bag hidden in the fridge (and obviously teddy cam to film in all its glory). She will be so raged that yet again somebody has used HER fridge that shell open the bag up to see whats inside and poof, glitter all over her nylon workwear!

Then the next day hide on in her shopping, then in her desk drawer, then find which her fave toilet is and stick one in there and await her to go she'll soon be taking time off with stress from glitter overload and fridge will be yours.

Alternatively and something id probably do, buy some of these and carefully peel open her meat and place a few inside, perfect for a full chicken, or slice open chicken breasts and stick a few inside. Imagine the horror of watching her precious angels tuck into the chicken casserole she's just dished up and a few jelly shaped dicks explode out.

I also like this idea Imagine recieving a potato with THE FRIDGE ISNT JUST YOURS written on it, she'd be so confused for days