My colleague has thrown my lunch in the bin

[DidYouBINmysushiyouTWAT]

What is the correct etiquette please?

You need not quote directly from Debretts.

If I weren't in the queue for the soggy salmonella sarnies left in Tescos- I'd write a longer OP.

Part Two here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/a2631196-My-colleague-has-twat-me-over-the-head-with-a-courgette - edited by MNHQ

This is the sandwich thief episode
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2732898/Dear-Sandwich-Thief-Mans-hilarious-response-passive-aggressive-sign-posted-offices-fridge-door-sparks-incredible-kitchen-note-war.html

Could you get another key to open up? Then get there extra early, visit a supermarket and then fill the fridge....with courgette cocks and smelly cheese .

It's here

Mine is not a DM link, if anyone (like me) thinks that Paul Dacre is a cunt

Tate yes, yes...that's the story I read about on FB.

Hilarious!

Does she ever buy a loaf of bread too (not fridge relevant I know)?

If so carefully open it, fart in it and reseal. Yum yum Fart Bread!

You too daily thanks

Take in one of those disposable BBQ's and cook her fucking chops in the car park tomorrow lunch time.

Idea 1: Innocently lay an opened bottle of milk sideways at the top of the fridge. Make sure it's dripping slightly.

Idea 2: Store some kippers in the fridge.

Idea 3: Do a shit in her bag.

In the end I decided that every day I'd pick whatever looked like the most expensive item in her shopping (usually meat or a big lasagne, that kind of thing) and I cut a massive cross into the top of the packet, leaving it in the fridge with other stuff piled on top to make room for other people

Seriously this could work. If you need to squeeze her stuff up then it's bound to get damaged isn't it. No one can be faulted as it wouldn't need to be squeezed if she didn't have so much.

Take every single item out and take a Polaroid photo of each item. Donate food to homeless centre. Place photos in fridge.

Deny everything.

OH! MY!

I go away and work and check out you viper bastards! Off to read this all-

I got texted -thank god she only twigged about her binned turkey when I had left. She asked if I had taken anything in the fridge that didn't belong to me.

Me: no sorry after my sushi was binned I had no reason to darken the fridge's door- how weird- did you check the bin?

SHE SO KNOWS IT WAS ME! Her pork chops lined up on the kitchen table tomorrow spelling "BUM ME!" if she takes it further (Well that's what my head is imagining)

I must be discreet as the others are scared and will tell Frigid-McFridgidaireFace I dunnit.

You know this will end up in the daily fail, including the word hilarious. It's right up their street, you know being those type professional reporters that do loads of research.

P.S I'm not saying you're one OP, but where the fyck are you, OP? I need to know what's happened!

Bollocks! Xpost.

That's brilliant OP. You need to update us with her reaction, tomorrow.

Actually lolling at these ideas
Love the hard boiled egg swap and obv the cock
Nominating for classics definitely.

What supermarket are the goods from?

You could fuck with her mind by swapping all the products for the same food but from an inferior brand such as Happy Shopper or similar!

Or even just to a different supermarket. Tesco to Morrison's etc!

You have to take in lunch tomorrow. You just have too.

Let's see if she has the brass neck, to chuck it in the bin again.

Now I promise wholeheartedly this was not me (and I am not recommrnding this at all) but the last fridge war I saw as a bystander was a number of years ago when I lived temporarily in hospital staff residence.

Food was going missing at a horrendous rate to the point that two locums who were living there lost a whole load of food they'd bought literally that day. They decided enough was enough and bought a pack of very nice looking doughnuts and syringed the jam full of laxatives with a big note marked do not touch.

Unsurprisingly the doughnuts disappeared. And roughly at the same time so did the food thief. I moved out shortly after so never found out if the thief dared return.

You could also buy one of those teddy cams....film her why she bins your lunch.....mwaaahhhhhaaa.

I love Coffee's suggestion of a portable BBQ.

Yes and beware Martha the Daily Mail's bottom feeding 'reporter' plus any mates of hers that might be lurking. If you are reading, then your paper is a pile of wank, your boss is a cunt (I understand it's a word he's fond of, apparently his morning meetings are known as the 'Vagina Monologues' for this reason?) and your paper's owner has a laughably hypocritical attitude to tax avoidance - what with him being a non-dom and all.

The replacement idea is brilliant! Take a cool bag in your car with some ice blocks in it. Nick her stuff and replace it with Tesco Value equivalents.

What did she hope to achieve by binning the sushi?? Take a larger lunchbox in every time something happens to your lunch and then take vengeance on her shopping....

Daily

Someone binned my lunch once. I took it out of the bin and put it back in the fridge. They threw it away again. This continued for at least a fortnight. I needed this thread for ideas!

Perhaps all the shopping should disappear from the fridge and reappear in Fridge Woman's desk drawers.