to kill all the spiders?

[bessarabiantiger]

We live in the country, we're very lucky with our house and we've been here two years. There's a lake on the property and with lakes come mosquito hoardes (fine, live and let live, we knew about this when ee took the place, and with mosquito hoardes come spiders.

I am alright with most types of spider, I allow Huntsman (? Spindly legged) in every room as they're no bother and keep the mossies down when we have the windows open. Brown recluse get ejected with a glass & cardboard or eaten by the cat.

This year we have a problem with false widows and a kind we've never seen before. They are awful. Striped and with extra long front legs, they shamble across the ceiling as if they're drunk & often fall in your drink/dinner/hair.

We now have around 80 of the fuckers in the kitchen. They are making nests. For many people this wouldn't even be an issue. But me being me I've said to myself, well the windows are open, they aren't scaring me on purpose (even after the night I walked into the kitchen without turning the lights on and had one who was making a web land on my face. ARGH!) Etc. Etc.

We've used every natural repellant going. From plug-in spider scarers (knew they were bullshit but was at wits end last sept) to conkers, peppermint oil, spider hoover, removing them all outside (shudder. That was a horrible day) only to find a new gang there in the morning.

After me and DH being bitten this week (him on the neck, me on the hand WHILST ASLEEP IN BED! Hand swelled up for the next 24 hours, yes, it was a spider, found it crawling down my leg) I have finally and very reluctantly bought spider poison.

I am hoping someone can offer a better solution before I have to use it. DS has mild asthma and am worried about the effect on him (we will evacuate for the day after use) and it's an aersol as well as a poison. It sounds silly, but I've only ever used aerosol twice- the ozone layer was so drummed into me at school it feels akin to pooping straight down a whales blow hole!

AIBU to kill the spiders so they stop biting us? Has anyone got any other solution?

We break webs and remove visible offenders bi-daily BTW.

Morning all! So after fruitlessley looking for Isembard all day yesterday (Isembard beinh our largest resident), I sat in bed this morning, rubbed the sleep from my eyes, turned to look out of the window aaaaannnd.....nope nope nope nope nope nope. What the everloving fuck is with spiders getting in my bed?

OP, is there a spider called Aragon living in your attic?

Thomas Aragon von Antlers lives in the porch.

Am

Trying to get MNHQ to help me upload my picture of Isembard. Watch thi

We've come away for the weekend and I'm pretty sure OH left one of the windows on the latch. This thread has made me convinced we'll come back to find Thomases and Isambards taking over the flat

Bess you get 6 images a day. It should work today.

Trying again...

hopefully, you can now all see Isembard. Who led DH on a Benny Hill style chase under the bed when she fell off the wall. I may or may not have been in the hall shouting "KILL IT WITH FIRE!".

Poor DD was mewling "kill what with fire? Is it safe to come out?" whilst I sat on the floor in nothing but my undercrackers checking my phone to see if I had got a good picture for all of you MN has made me into even more of a weirdo than usual.

Trying again...

hopefully, you can now all see Isembard. Who led DH on a Benny Hill style chase under the bed when she fell off the wall. I may or may not have been in the hall shouting "KILL IT WITH FIRE!".

Poor DD was mewling "kill what with fire? Is it safe to come out?" whilst I sat on the floor in nothing but my undercrackers checking my phone to see if I had got a good picture for all of you MN has made me into even more of a weirdo than usual.

Oh bloody hell. I have no idea how to edit with phone...

Spiders poo? Spiders actually poo from a poo hole?! I can't believe it.

I'd line the outside of every window, door, crevice with something stinky...like paint thinner or petrol. Just a little lick. Then fumigate the house.

They do poo bigred. They poo on EVERYTHING I OWN AND PROBABLY IN MY MOUTH WHEN IM SLEEPING.

Come on MNHQ! I need to show everyone my Isembard...

WE ARE AS AGOG AS EVERYONE ELSE ON THE THREAD AND CURRENTLY BEGGING TECH FOR HELP AS TO YOUR CURRENT PHOTOGRAPHIC RESTRICTIONS.
(Tech's been pretty flat out recently, tbf, but fingers and toes crossed!)

Oh Jesus. This thread is like a good horror film, where you really don't want to be watching it as your terrified but you just can't stop watching it too.

I've nominated this thread for Classics. It's too funny

at Helen's AGOGNESS in capitals

I'm also nominating this for classics

Fab thread!

Many years ago I lived in Australia. Hadn't been there long when came home one evening to find two MASSIVE huntsmen on the kitchen ceiling.

I called the police. It was that or sit outside all night.

To their credit, police attended and evicted spiders by means of bashing them into submission.

(probably helped that address was flats belonging to hospital and therefore known to be inhabited by nurses).

DH has just reminded me it's our wedding anniversary.

My response? "I am TRYING to show Mumsnet my spider".

He still loves me thank god.

I need spider police.

Aw, classics? Awesome! I'll get my hair done. Will there be cake?

I love you bess - you're hilarious!

I'm actually having to swipe my phone on the table so I don't throw it when I come across a picture or link.

But I have to look, it's like sporn.

Morning Thumbwitch!

Cockbollocks, I will do a countdown beforeI post the picture of Isembard so we don't wreck your telephone.

Thank you. DP Is insisting I stop reading as I'm now trapped on the sofa refusing to put my feet on the floor pulling silly faces whilst Googling spider traps.

Someone clever needs to come up with a spider klaxon!!! ????

I'm going to go and shower whilst waiting for MNHQ techbods to help me reveal Isembard. First I have to remove the giant cheesplant from the shower. Because of course there is a giant cheeseplant in the shower...

We are overrun with massive spiders this time of year. Last Autumn we were watching TV and I glanced over to DH and on the arm of his chair about to climb on to his shoulder was a particularly big one, I casually mentioned to DH he may not want to turn around right now.... Of course he did. You've never seen a man jump out of his chair so fast.
I've got used to having them around so apart from the odd comment we leave them but I was a bit fed up when we had our sash windows replaced and disturbed the few billion that lived in all the box casings.