How can I be more "French"?

[hangingoutattheendofmywick]

So this morning I did an Ocado shop and stumbled across the world foods department. There is a French section and I was immediately transported to my holidays when I was young at Keycamp in France. I basically ordered a shed load of French delights and as I'm currently really down in the dumps and life is a bit shite I've decided to BE more French.

Other than learning the language again (I've lost it since GCSE) and eating / drinking all my French delights I'm wondering what I can do to make my life a bit more French. Any ideas?

I'm looking for :
Music
Literature
Recipes
Drinks
General ways of living.

Ta!

Sorry to disagree ppeat but it's Belgium that has the best chocolate in the world, though France is a close second.

Cutlivate a hissing "s'arreter" Sometimes adding a swipe at your dcs if they talk a little too much or touch anything in a shop.

Sadly some french people repress their dcs a LOT.

No I used to think that but I like dark not so sweet chocolate and that's better here. Belgian is too sickly for me Allalone

Oh and you must have shutters on your house ; they are keeping us cool at the moment ,I llove them so much.They keep you cosy in the winter too.

This thread has made me smile.

OP you need to educate yourself in the work of French philosophers. Then you need to go back to work and have at least two more DC.

Dinner will be at the same time every night. No flexibility. Everyone present. And though the food will be delicious it will be very repetitive. And you will drink only French vinegar wine. One glass, two max.

And you will go on holiday to France. Most likely you will drive.

Understand that there are only four meals for your region and serve them in rotation. Dismiss all food and wine that is not from France as inferior by definition.
Wear strange unmatching outfits in polyester when you go out. (I live in the French countryside).

Yes The Word And you will all go together to the Isle de Re' or Oleron and take your bikes on the back of your car. !!Also if there's a bank holiday you'll extend it to the weekend and call it the bridge or 'Le Pont'

emily .

That reminds me of the family who DS stayed with last year. They asked him about what French food he'd tried and discarded his answers as they mostly came from Provence and were thus as foreign as Chinese food.

The french people here on the whole are much friendlier than Londoners but we are in the country. They actually ask us back for aperos and dinners\parties.

ppeat and you will return to Il de Re many many times.

Novelty is not a French trait!

Drink wine with every meal except breakfast.

Start every sentence with "The problem is..." or "It's not possible".
Smoke.

At least twice a month, refuse to go to work. Not just that, park your car in the middle of the highway and make commuting hell for everyone else.

Whack your children in public. Then scream at the when they cry. (This makes me so )

One bite of everything. Just one bite. And if anyone goes back for a second bite, a sort of tut and hiss and a gentle fingerwag.

Get a moped. Smoke while riding the moped.

Buy your wine in bags from the local communal producer. When the bag leaks, cover it with duct tape. Un-taped bags are terribly arriviste. Consider adding duct tape even though your bag doesn't leak.

Also Bof. Bof.

Oh dear EmilyAlice IKWYM and wear three quarter length trousers all the time with a rather wide bum.

You must cultivate the art of taking at least 20 minutes to execute the simplest transaction in a shop, being completely oblivious to the growing queue behind you. After all, it is you turn.

You will love Supertramp and Johnny Halliday

For men:

• using a strimmer is a national sport. If you are able to do it wearing only speedos, so much the better
• wear speedos as much as possible
• drive with your left arm hanging out of the window

Carla bruni - though technically she is italian but i love her french songs.
Watch the Taxi movies.
do a language course.
drink
eat pate on baguette

dip your toasted bread with jam in morning cafe au lait

make crepes

bonne chance

Listen to the music of 'Alizée' if you feel like something a bit pop-py. I'm a fan of this as much as of Francois Hardy. Charles Trenet is also an excellent French singer and some of his songs are quite well known outside France.

yy to boiling water that is anything but. French people do not know how to make Brritish tea - fact! Zut alors!

You definitely have to practise your French accent in front of the mirror. I must confess that I have sometimes pretended to be French while holidaying in the UK I feel very Brigette Bardot and when DH annoys me I roll my eyes and say "ahhh engleesh men".

Spend ridiculous amounts of money on cosmetics from the "pharmacie" and spray yourself with Evian water from a can!

YY to 'heavy legs' and you will demand only branded pharmaceuticals from your GP (no generic drugs for you).

You will wear a lot of polyester - this increases as you move south through France.

Your parking will be completely random and on market days you will abandon your car on roundabouts, blind bends, in disabled spaces - anywhere really.

Just realised my posts seem rather po-faced! I love France - lived there for three years and my eldest DC was born there. There are some rather odd and infuriating traits, though - although probably no more than any other people.

magicalmr I just nearly died laughing!

Did you MDR, OP?

Watch repeats of 'Allo 'Allo and always wear a beret.

I've just googled "heavy leg syndrome" and I do genuinely suffer from that.

Silly old British me just thought it meant I spent too much time sitting on my fat arse.

These comments made me lol. A lot of truth and some that aren't so right IMO
Eg I find it's impossible to find clothes in white here (not Ivory or whatever shade if white) fir summer clothes, whereas clothes In France have much more colours (even though I found it has changed a bit in the last few years)

The ONE thing you need to learn is to have a 'discussion' ie be able to talk and defend your pov of any subject, show the other person why they are wrong whilst proving you are right. Let the tone go up and up until you feel everyone has fallen out with the others and then have a laugh and think you all had a really good talk (and still be friends if course!)
And of course the other person HAS the wrong otherwise there us no discussion