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Original poster

What would your father do if you were kidnapped by Parisian sex traffickers?

448 replies

MitzyLeFrouf · 15/05/2015 23:07

I'm watching Liam Neeson in Taken as he kicks, wallops and murders his way across Paris in pursuit of his abducted daughter? It's made me wonder what my father would do if such a situation arose.

He's an ex-accountant with a dodgy hip so I'm not sure he'd follow the Neeson method of daughter retrieval. He'd be more likely to start the rescue by putting the kettle on, having a cup of tea and checking the weather forecast in Paris. Then he'd have to phone the 67 relatives to inform them of my perilous situation. By the time he got off the phone to my Auntie Mary my virtue would be long lost.

What would your dear old dad do?

OP posts:
Original poster
MitzyLeFrouf · 16/05/2015 21:20

I thought that myself VikingLady!

OP posts:
SoleSource · 16/05/2015 21:22

Lol Viking!

Also Mothers blaming their Daughters..

OttiliaVonBCup · 16/05/2015 21:23

Or mothers...

JohnFarleysRuskin · 16/05/2015 21:24

In his day, he'd have loaded up his van, driven to Paris and then unloaded his van, very loudly and making very poor deals.

Now he would pull the emergency cord.

usualsuspect333 · 16/05/2015 21:24

My dad would have had to listen to the cricket on the radio for a day before he decided what to do.

Stinkersmum · 16/05/2015 21:34

I don't think my dad would necessarily have to tools to find the kidnappers. But if he did happen upon them, he would rip them limb from limb.

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 16/05/2015 22:02

Mitzy, if your DF was an accountant, wouldn't number 2 be more true to life?

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 16/05/2015 22:07

PS - my father would have been too drugged up to notice/care. My DGF (who raised me) would have cracked jokes until they lapsed into comas. I'd like to think were he alive in the internet age, he'd leave a well-written reiew and merely a 2* rating on TripAdviser.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 16/05/2015 22:23

My dad would panic and google 'how to get daughter away from sex traffickers'.

Meanwhile my mum would already be on the fastest plane to Paris, where she would track down the traffickers, absolutely decimate them, call me a twat for getting trafficked and bring me home, leaving a scathing review on TripAdvisor and demanding compensation (and, knowing my mum's track record, getting that compensation!) Grin

Crocodopolis · 16/05/2015 22:36

My dad, a retired diplomat, would have his contacts out looking for me.

Then, once I was rescued, he would offer the kidnappers a cup of tea and a chat and express his sympathies to them about picking the wrong target and hope I wasn't too dreadful. He would make sure that they were ok and not too traumatised after having to deal with me. The kidnappers would leave, being utterly charmed.

Then we would go to my favourite cousin's house where she would make me a sandwich and her husband and my dad would watch sports on telly.

Then, my uncle (father's younger brother) would show up, look in the fridge for something for pudding and then he and my father would have a 30-second bicker about something trivial. The two would sulk for 2.75 seconds and then be the best of friends again.

My uncle would ask if anyone wanted a margarita and then would make every dish in the house dirty while making said cocktails.

My cousin's husband would try to put the wind up me about STDs or somesuch.

Then, dad and I would go back to his house in his red sportscar. If it was after 5.30pm, my dad would have his evening glass of wine. If it was the afternoon, he woud ask me where I wanted to have lunch. On the way back from lunch, we would stop off at the library, where dad is on the Board.

By the next mirning, everyone would have forgotten about it, except my my aunt (father's older brother's widow, a sweet and gentle lady) and my favourite cousin's two sisters, who would scold me for getting myself into a bit of a mess.

catzpyjamas · 16/05/2015 22:55

Wow Crocodopolis, that could be the script for Taken 3.5

TerrifiedMothertobe · 16/05/2015 22:59

After 4 heart attacks and 2 dodgy knees, and a disabled/dementia plagu d wife, probably not a lot. However 20 years ago when I was 17 he would have gone mental. As woul my DH if someone even laid a finger on me or our little boys hair. Dramatic. But true.

Momagain1 · 16/05/2015 23:04

My gosh y'all, I had buried this memory. My dh and I did have to have to rescue dd (his dsd) out of a dodgy spot when she was 14.

It was only a few blocks from home, but we were pretty broke back then, and only just managed to not quite live in the actual bad part of town, but a few blocks from it. i called the friend whose parents were supposed to bring her home from church, because she should have been home at least an hour ago., The girl said dd had left with someone else. She didnt know them, but but we should call so and so and they would know the people dd was with. It took a couple hours of phone calls, and we couldnt find a street by that name on the city map. finally, the minister from her church knew where the street was. So we followed him over to this unpaved road in the middle of town, with tumbledown houses with boarded up windows. My dh didnt have a US driving license, so I had to drive. i was nervous as hell waiting in broad daylight, with the minister's car between me and the house. Did I mention my 11 year old dd was in the back seat, slid below window level? DH walked into the crappy old house, there was some shouting, she ran out, he ran out behind her , they jumped in and I drove like hell. The wheel of my station wagon spun out in the gravel, a trick I have never done before or since. The minister drove more sedately. ( i just thought: he may have been sedately blocking the road behind us? ) He caught up to us at the stop light, waved and turned off the other direction as if nothing unusual had just happened.

It's been 16 years. I still dont even know exactly what went on that day. But we got her.

PinkSquash · 16/05/2015 23:05

I haven't spoken to my dad in 2 years now, but if he found out I had been kidnapped he would probably regroup with his dodgy as fuck mates and rescue me. Then fill the car up with more than is legal amounts of booze and baccy.

Momagain1 · 16/05/2015 23:06

Now I need a drink

teenagetantrums · 16/05/2015 23:07

My dad would ask google what to do, am regretting I ever taught him how to do that he would be all 'google show me how to rescue my daughter from sex traffickers '' and then follow her instructions. god knows that that would bring up on google.

D0oinMeCleanin · 16/05/2015 23:10

Viking, if they're anything like my father they're probably still trying to live their hey day, which is why us children know all about their 'contacts'

It was only today my dad threatened to have my ex "taken care of" after I asked him to stop posting pictures of dd2 covered in baby birds all over FB.

Him and his mates barely have a decent hip between them. It would take them an hour each just to hobble to the bus stop, after which they'd need a sit down and their heart spray.

CheerfulYank · 16/05/2015 23:11

If it were our DD, DH would immediately ring his brother and one of his sisters. BIL is hard and has an arsenal in his basement. (He's one of those Americans.) SIL not good with weapons but I would trust her to sort out the entire world, given the chance.

The other sister and I would stay home praying and making desserts while the three of them handled it.

JoffreyBaratheonFirstofHisName · 16/05/2015 23:24

My lovely dad is gone now. But in his youth, he was quite something.

He volunteered to join the Paras the day he was 17, during WW2. By 17 and a bit he was jumping out of planes being shot at. He was a champion high-diver, swimmer and loved motorbike scrambling. He became a radio operator in the paras.

I think he could make Liam Neeson look like a lightweight in the daughter retrieval stakes.

awaynboilyurheid · 16/05/2015 23:24

My dad is no longer here but I know he would have rescued me no problem he would have got lost on way to Paris tho as he had a terrible sense of direction probably he would have got there via Germany but when he got there he would have shiriked the kidnappers ( a good glasgow word for shouted ) but soon they would all love him and be calling him uncle and they would all be laughing at me and agreeing with dad that I am a bit of a nightmare at times and they would have there arms around his shoulders as they walked us out from the kidnap house. Dad would forgive them he was sometimes too nice to people and say oh well no harm done they were nice guys really as I rolled my eyes on the way home to Scotland via Italy .

JoffreyBaratheonFirstofHisName · 16/05/2015 23:27

Thinking about it, my ex MIL would be the person to call. She grew up on the same street as the Krays (really!) And... they owed her family a favour. ;o)

ConnortheMonkey · 16/05/2015 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nellagain · 16/05/2015 23:32

Back in the day my dad (a copper armed only with a truncheon)would have got together his work colleagues they would have haired over to paris, drinking the ferry dry on the way. Having got lost several times on the way to paris and no doubt numerous run ins with the french police over their driving, their would have been a huge punch up which they would have won as they practised every dirty trick in the book. This would have been followed with a post mortem on why nobby had let his daughter go to France of all Places.

Nowadays the kidnappers would have to ring numerous times as they let the answer phone kick in and assume a foreign accent is from a call centre and not to be answered. When it did get answered the kidnappers would give up as they would have to repeat everything 5 times over whilst my dad asked the most inane questions. They would probably at this point realise that they were never going to get them to understand instructions and I would probably be counselling the kidnappers at the frustration of trying to communicate with him.

cashewnutty · 16/05/2015 23:37

My dad would pop to the bookies to put a horse on and get my mum to sort things out. She is fearsome and i would be rescued and my kidnappers would be bollocked big style about how they had let their mum down and they would run off crying. My mum is awesome. My dad is lovely but couldn't rescue anyone.

Morloth · 16/05/2015 23:46

My dad would have come after me.

We have a relaxed view about law in our family, so that wouldn't have slowed him down.