This is so bizarre...

[PistolWhipped]

DP just returned from Tesco having bought a 12.5g box of Amber Leaf tobacco. When he tore off the cellophane and looked inside the box he found no tobacco and precisely seven sheets of toilet paper and 2 two-pence pieces! What the devil is going on? We're just sat here, open-mouthed, staring at bog roll and coppers. Has anyone got any idea what could have happened at t'factory? Has anything like this ever happened to you? Where's our baccie?!

Has the poor man had a fag yet?!

I think my pelvic floor is knacks after this hahaha

Best thread on MN for ages!

Can I ask what "2 lines on a OPK" means?

Ovulation test Bake

Am thinking pistols got her cunning plan underway

I love this.
I am also slightly disturbed that I'm thinking that the OP might be having sex right now.

They should go to Tesco and do it in the bakery aisle. Bun in the oven and all that.

Just marking my place. Hope you are enjoying your, "evening" OP.

And, if you do conceive this evening, you could call your baby Amber Leaf ... Pretty name.

Tears. Actual tears. Agog for update on email to Ian.

Creased. This thread has cheered me up after a right shitty day.
Ta Pistol kid.

Yes, I was indeed having it off. I'm not happy with how foreplay went:

DP [cock nodding like a dahlia]: "So, I'm not allowed to come on yer tits, then."
Me: "How charming. No, you cannot blow your man fat on my bristols. Have you washed that?"
DP: "What? Me cock?"
Me: "No. That bloody ashtray you've brought into the room. You know it's for outside only."

[five minutes into penetrative sex]

DP: "What's up?"
Me: "Nowt, why?"
DP: "You seem preoccupied. It's that Amber Leaf fella isn't it? Ian from Tesco."
Me: "Don't be so absurd. I'm tired, that's all, and I'm conscious of the baby next door."
DP: "Tsk! Go and check your emails, see if Ian's replied."
Me [yelling]: "Will you shut up about Ian? This has nothing to do with that bloody email! I'm tired and just want to get this over with."
DP: "Bloody charmin', that is."

Five minutes? You're a lucky girl

cock nodding like a dahlia ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
You silver tongued charmer.

...you could call your baby Amber Leaf.

I was at work until 21:30 - I'm in Canada Pistol.

Now, back to the amber leaf. Has a response been received?

Snorting with laughter and waiting for an update!

Yes! Yes! Yes!! By the severed heads of bastard Jihadists! I got a reply! From a 'Leslie': [Image removed by MNHQ]

I have heard of this before, it was in our local paper. Only in that case the buyer got 2 slices of bread rather than loo roll and coins.

Haha! Good old Leslie!

Result!

Love it!

Hang on!!

U can't say u got a reply and not divulge .....!

Click on the photo - she got a £7 gift card.

Can't click on a photo on the app