Oh do I have a new low in wedding poems for you...

[Weddingpoet]

This is so going to out me but I actually don't care. I went to a wedding this weekend. We had to buy our own evening meal and the invitation said "no presents please, cash gifts only". There was a wishing well at the reception to but cash into (ringing the bell as you did ). This morning I received this corker which, obviously, I needed to share with you at once...

Cash we asked for because cash we need
For our kitchen to proceed
Having checked our wishing well
We think some people might not have rung the bell.
If you’re one who has forgotten
Don’t sit at home feeling rotten
Just use the bank details at the end of this ditty
And you can still contribute to our kitchen kitty

pleeeeeeeeeeease Weddingpoet, can we have more !

Struggling to believe this. But wow if it's true!

Also struggling to believe this.

I just refuse to believe such arseholes exist!

PLEASE respond with 'I'm sorry, we've already given you all that we can afford. However, if you let me know the number that you need to get to then maybe we can have a whip-round in the office.'

Then hit Reply All

Ok more details

We were sent a menu with the invites and told to order direct with the bar and pay over the phone and our food would be ready at a given time.

There wasn't a poem about cash on the invite. Just "No presents please. Cash gifts only" on the bottom.

Most people weren't local so have also had pay for hotels for one or two nights plus travel. It cost us just under £200 as it was almost 200 miles away.

The groom's mother wore a black and white patterned dress which was a very short mini at the front and long at the back. She wore what I can only describe as a white evening dress in the evening (which made her look like a second bride - in fact I overheard someone in the hotel lobby comment that it must be a double wedding). Rest of the guest were in fairly standard wedding gear.

Wow. I am itching for further updates!

OP you win you win you win No further wedding poems can top this one.

I've reported your post, asking for it to go into classics. Never knew we had so many talented pots on MN!

Mini at the front, long at the back is my favourite shit look on a groom's mother from now on.

Oh. My. God.

I can't even.

Why would...?

What...?

No?! Nobody in the whole world is that rude and grabby! I refuse to believe it!

Oh my!
You win the internet.
I've had to read it again several times to make sure I understood it.
I still don't understand.
They lack shame and morals.

Cheeky bastards!

They also lack cadence.

For that, they die.

I'm glad a couple of posters have vouched for the OP because this is unbelievable otherwise.

Is it possible that the bride and groom sent it as a joke?

Well, my flabber is ghasted too!

Weddingpoet the OP has been around for ages.

Unbelievable!

When they sent it did the cc in everyone else's email address?

You could have a lot of fun with your reply if they did

Weddingpoet, can I ask, after your initial shock at the email was it replaced by an overwhelming - wait till I tell mn this?! Lol!

Dear former friend,

Have you flipped your lid?
We already spent 200 quid
On your big day, so cut the bitchin'
And pay for your own fucking kitchen.

I am in total shock!!

ive just read it to dp, it takes alot to shock him and his jaw is actually still on the floor!

"We were sent a menu with the invites and told to order direct with the bar and pay over the phone and our food would be ready at a given time."

And yet people still went!!

"We were sent a menu with the invites and told to order direct with the bar and pay over the phone and our food would be ready at a given time."

It gets better.