What sexist behaviour would be the most shocking if reversed?

[GrumpyOldNag]

I was thinking feminist thoughts to myself (as you do ), and I was thinking about how this belief that sexism doesn't exist anymore creates a huge backlash against anyone who speaks out against it, which in turn makes people who do in fact believe in equal rights for men and women try to distance themselves from feminism because it's perceived as crazy and unreasonable. The problem is that a lot of it is so ingrained in our culture and society that it is completely normalised, and the majority of people don't even notice it anymore.

So what would be the most obvious, outrageous sexist behaviour, if we swapped the genders? Would it be men being followed, harassed and intimidated in the street, or on the music channel men gyrating and grinding dressed increasingly revealing clothing while women are all fully clothed? Men dancing in the windows of the red light district, or the overwhelming majority of politicians and CEOs being female?

What in your opinion would bring about the most uproar if one day sexism suddenly switched genders?

Sorry if any part of this doesn't make sense, I had a beautifully written OP all typed out and then my iPad lost it all for no apparent reason...

Thora Hird and Vernon Kaye co-hosting Strictly Come Dancing?

I can't believe how many examples you've brought up, so many that didn't even cross my mind. BillsnTed I missed yours completely, 'Brucey' pissed me off no end but that swap didn't even occur to me.

Average to ugly women being routinely matched with hot younger men on TV.

Watching Breakfast TV wondering why the men always seem to show more skin than the woman do and wear clothes (out of choice of course) which accentuate their muscly bodies.

And every year on the 6th of June men and women gather together to admire and appreciate the women in the pre-medical past who gave their lives in childbirth for the future generation.

Great OP, OP!!

All books written by or for men being dismissed as 'dick lit' and female critics guffawing about how shit it all is, without ever having read any of it.

The routine abandonment by women of their children with partners to the degree we congratulate those that do participate, as if they were doing something other than shouldering their responsibility. Pointed concern about the well being of children of men with careers.

Continual derailment of men in the public eye by foregrounding at all times their weight, choice of clothing etc. Employing men and lesbians in media organisations whose sole job is to critique the fashion sense of male celebrities. Daily segments of tv devoted to men who were "getting it right/ wrong".

Adverts which assumed men did the housework and women were inept participants in this. Adverts which assumed women drove cars. Adverts which continual reinforced the unacceptability of men's natural faces, their need to be in shape to feel confident, their need to resist aging. Adverts which assumed that men looked after babies.

National debates on the effects of teaching styles, classrooms, and the gender of teachers on girls. National debates which assumed something was wrong with the natural order if men and boys started outperforming women and girls in education.

Men constantly carting around bags for shopping, bags full of cosmetic supplies, snacks and wipes for everyone, changes of clothes and nappies. Women drifting along the street, unencumbered by baggage.

Endless threads about paternity leave. How it adversely affects your promotion prospects. Wondering whether to tell your new boss that your partner is pregnant, because you might not pass your probation period, or your job offer might be revoked. To make it really real, you would also need a fair few men coming along to tell these men that they should have thought about all of this before impregnating their partner, husbands of women who run small businesses need to come along and tell these men that taking paternity leave totally fucks up the business and that it's totally inconsiderate to take a job knowing that you're going to become a father.

Articles asking if men can have it all.

Just come back from the pub. How can I reverse this? Firstly, I gave my mobile number to a guy who was chatting me up just to get rid of him. ( or as my friend said, pacify him as he kept pressurising me to have another drink and to meet him tomorrow even though I'd already told him I wasn't free) Secondly, as I walked out the pub ( I was wearing a slightly low cut dress and am quite busty), a man commented, as I was walking past, something like ' they're fantastic'. Not me, just my boobs. You just can't reverse that in a way that would be as equally intimidating to men as it is to women. Can you..??

Changing all instances of the universal "he" to "she" and referring to God as "she." When men question this, explain that of course they are included, as "she" indicates all humans.

The description of any man in any job as a "man x" - "man MP, George Osborne"; "male pilot x x". Except nurses, P.A.s and Nannys, whose gender would be assumed to be male and named as female if they weren't.

I think pub leering, Scarlet, would have to be along the lines of, "You'd have to kick them pretty hard to get those bad boys to retract!" accompanied by leering at crotch area. Or some vile joke about how far your forearm will fit up their arse. Something violent with sexual undertones - I know that's how I experience sexual harassment.

But the point is, you really can't reverse the sexual harassment thing, as:

a). men, inevitably, are physically bigger and stronger than women, and therefore intimidating in a way that women default to placating the situation (i.e. men will never get quite how intimidating it can feel, unless as Scarlet points out, they're hit on by other men).
b). sex is just sex for men - a fun, recreational activity, where for women (read: fuckable women), there is always the risk of pregnancy...

...so sexual harassment of women just not comparable to sexual harassment of men, unfortunately. For women, it's scary, and it could potentially ruin/change your life forever.

The thing that I think would be most noticeable instantly would be, as the OP suggested, if all high ranking currently male positions of power switched to bring held by women. I think a lot of men would find that far more disconcerting than the sex stuff because that's where it begins. Isn't it? The imbalance of power. Make women massively more powerful. Wait a few years. All the rest of it would probably follow and would have a more sinister meaning, too.

The absence of older men in the public sphere, as politicians, on tv etc.

Watching tv dramas and films that had hardly any men in them, and the men that do appear would be just as eye candy or to be rescued, so there would have to be a Bechdel test for men.

Not outrageous but if you swapped the sports pages, so you would have lots of women in sports and coverage of women's football etc and then men's sport as a byline.

Cutting maternity leave and increasing paternity leave to 6months or a year.

Actually I believe paternity and maternity leave should both be at least 6 months and to be compulsory.

Women only have one pregnancy at a time, a man could potentially have 2-3 years of work. Women would suddenly be less 'risky' (not a good word can't think of better) to employ.

I think some reversal wouldn't work, if a woman follows a man down the street then a man doesn't think she could force him to do anything she wants, I think the example of the man in a night club in Qatar is better.

Shoes.

It really annoyed me that the group of men in high heels were put through the audition. They are not good dancers, they just wore high heels.

Men's magazines being full of brainless fluff and scandalous true life stories, magazines aimed at women being full of games consoles, gadget reviews and cars, with near-naked youths posing throughout (would women really be interested in leering at 20 year old boys, or can they focus on the article without needing to look at pecs?).

Men being assumed to be mentally deficient as soon as they reproduce, jokes made about their capacious urethras and large sagging scrota, as surely any person who has produced offspring has physical deformities.

All pornography based on the male form, old or unattractive women being pleasured by young men who have to pretend to enjoy being treated roughly.

Men faking orgasms.

Men having to take hormonal contraception which alters their moods, sex drive and weight, and this being accepted as normal. Men being called frigid for insisting on condoms or not wanting sex in case of pregnancy. Men being accused of trapping women if their partner becomes pregnant.

Slim, attractive men singing in bands, the backing musicians being older, overweight, hirsute women. Most male singers not playing an instrument.

85% of company directors, because men don't want the responsibilty

The language men use about women (I'm talking about a significant minority of men here), I just cannot imagine women talking about men as a group in the same way. There are a fair few terms men use to avoid saying the word women or woman, I'm trying to think up what the equivalent would be in this parallel world. I've used adaptations of phrases that I've read on other forums, or heard men say in real life:

"Bird" - cock? I'm going out to see my cock tonight

"Bit" - Bit would cover it for a man too - Look at that Bit over there

"Split-arse (my favourite term for a female )" - Ball-Sack? Some fat ball-sack moaning about his wife

"Clunge" - Plunge? Going to a club to check out the Plunge

Just to be clear, the sentences in which I have used the terms above I have seen on threads during forum raids by predominantly male forums, on MN.

I've just gone through and tried to read this thread through the eyes of an unenlightened man. Try it - quite the eye-oener. It's actually quite 'threatening' reading.

I've suddenly had an insight into quite why the MRA-types are massively intimidated by women getting together and discussing stuff that pisses us off. They would HATE their partners to be exposed to this sort of discussion, because th stuff that pisses us off is fucking terrible. Terrible enough to cause a revolution. If it weren't for the fact that so many women are perfectly happy with the status quo...

Couples who, when they find out that the foetus the woman is carrying is male considering aborting it for that reason.

If a woman gives birth to a boy baby, thinking of ways to kill it before the authorities notice, or if they have noticed, starving the boy baby to death because girls are better bets

JapaneseMargaret you are spot on.

Complaining that schools, the media etc. have become "masculinised" because 30% of top jobs are filled by men.

(I get fed up reading that certain jobs have become feminised - BBC case in point - because nearly a third of jobs are filled by women).

Asking a man if he was still expecting the same level of pay because the job is part-time and flexible as I was last week.

Er yes.... because you are paying for my expertise, twot bollox!!!

Can just imagine him asking a male IT contractor the same question.