What sexist behaviour would be the most shocking if reversed?

[GrumpyOldNag]

I was thinking feminist thoughts to myself (as you do ), and I was thinking about how this belief that sexism doesn't exist anymore creates a huge backlash against anyone who speaks out against it, which in turn makes people who do in fact believe in equal rights for men and women try to distance themselves from feminism because it's perceived as crazy and unreasonable. The problem is that a lot of it is so ingrained in our culture and society that it is completely normalised, and the majority of people don't even notice it anymore.

So what would be the most obvious, outrageous sexist behaviour, if we swapped the genders? Would it be men being followed, harassed and intimidated in the street, or on the music channel men gyrating and grinding dressed increasingly revealing clothing while women are all fully clothed? Men dancing in the windows of the red light district, or the overwhelming majority of politicians and CEOs being female?

What in your opinion would bring about the most uproar if one day sexism suddenly switched genders?

Sorry if any part of this doesn't make sense, I had a beautifully written OP all typed out and then my iPad lost it all for no apparent reason...

Periods would be called "monthly glories"

Morning erections would be called "blobs"

A waxed and perma-tanned looking male perches uncomfortably on a stool, smiling winningly at an off-camera interlocutor.

"I was at a friend's house and everyone wanted to jump in the pool- but I felt so self-conscious because everything down there was so untidy!" "Then I discovered this amazing sack wax kit - now I know that I don't have to be embarrassed about my meat and two veg any more - it's all waxed and ready for the summer! Now I can keep everything down there tidy and pool-ready every day!"

I saw that advert for the first time three weeks ago and I'm still shocked.

Apologies if these have been done:
TV quiz, chat and panel shows having only female celebrities as guests-an occasional man allowed on if he is either good looking/eye candy or a 'national treasure' type

Robin Thicke dressed only in a thong gyrating behind three well dressed women who are singing about him not realising he wants to have sex with them and who occasionally pat his bottom in a patronising way

Unwanted erections would be called THe Curse, surely

Children's stories would feature female characters who were brave, clever and resourceful.

Male characters would either display character traits deemed 'unmasculine' like being cruel or outspoken and get their comeuppance, or be kind and demure and be rewarded. Or they could need to be rescued by the brave princess and marry her.

Perhaps the prince could state that he doesn't want to marry any of the queens or princesses who come to see him, only for his mother the queen to marry him to the next beggar woman who forces him to cook and clean her hovel and get a job in the palace. Then the beggar woman turns out to be the queen of the next kingdom who thought the haughty prince needed to be taught a lesson in humility before he was good enough to be her consort.

I've been a bit startled at some of the traditional children's stories, after school said we should be reading them as well as the slightly more balanced modern ones.

The horrors of living in a Matriarcal society, as depictedmin The Two Ronnies' series 'The Worm that turned'

Episode 1 with Diana Doors

the other 7 episodes are also posted on You Tube by 'nymphofwater'.

Warning:
PC seems pretty well the last thing on anyone's mind here.

Men's gymnastics would include competitions where they have to do a mixture of serious floor gymnastics/tumbling with a selection of odd dance moves/postures with their bums and chests sticking out, while wearing glittery leotards and matching hair ribbons. Also competitions where waving a hoop or a stick with a long pretty ribbon 'creatively' is as important as the gymnastics.

(watching the Commonwealth games while reading this. Getting increasingly grrrrrrrrrrr)

Bumping this as its such a clever thread yet so sad

Nightclubs regularly offer free entry or drinks for men, on the presumption that woman are mindless animals and will follow the young sexy men into the club who are just pleased that entry was free.

Men working behind bars will be hired due to their attractiveness rather than skills and told to wear low cut tops as "pecs sell beer".

A woman shouts across the street to an unknown lone man as she obviously has a right to speak to him even though he has headphones on and probably can't hear her. He is afraid to just walk away in case the woman gets aggressive so will stop and be forced into conversation. The woman will question the man as to where he is going and where he lives, to which of course, his responses are vague in case she follows him home. She'll then ask him to meet her for coffee to which he will politely decline. Rather than take his "no" for an answer the woman will ask again and even when he responds that he has a girlfriend, she will tell him that his girlfriend won't mind. The man finally escapes, having been polite throughout in case he angered the woman, and continues walking home, this time without headphones in and checking behind himself intermittently in case he is being followed. He ponders why some woman seem to think they have a right to men's personal space and time.

A man gets the last bus home. He is tense for the journey, wondering if any of the drunk woman on the bus might try to speak to him. He is nervous about being followed home, so lingers once he's off the bus, letting the women walk past him so none of them are following him.

In an interesting spectrum of cases where the graphic nature of a sex act is of prime concern, 'enclosure' would eclipse the importance (which would not be remotely important) of 'penetration'.

Can we bring in a House of Ladies as one of the central democratic institutions without further ado please?

Careers advisors and IT software would advise a hell of a lot of 15 year old boys that their calling in life is to be a legal secretary or a medical secretary. It would be assumed that the girls are on track to be the lawyers and the doctors.

...and in the men's underwear department, there would be various, pricey permutations of pants that have some kind of chicken-fillet todger enhancement in the crotch with a little pull cord to really plump it up when occasion demands AND YET at the same time, a prosthetic-y, gross, lacy beige control top panel to pull in the tummy area. I can really see these now. I promise I will make them as uncomfortable as I can if I can bagsy the patent?!

Upon announcing an engagement the future bride's friends and family will exclaim in mock surprise 'how the hell have you managed that?' as if she has won some conquest to 'win' over her future husband despite the odds. Rather than take any offense to this comment, the woman will think this a back handed compliment that highlights her skill when it comes to the persuasion and manipulation of the opposite sex.

For the future groom-to-be, comments among friends such as 'what are you doing with her?' from the future female in-laws and friends is taken by the future groom as friendly banter. He feels flattered that he is considered a 'prize' most worthy of his future wife and thinks, admiringly, how clever she must be to have 'duped' him into accepting.

In films women will aim for quantity when it comes to succeeding with men - the more unnamed, young, physically conforming men they can get into a hot tub with the better - in some sort of 'sausage-fest'. Ideally, the hot tub men should all look as similar as possible to each other and show absolutely no defining characteristics at all apart from their hair colour. They all wear revealing swimwear but have the need to put on glittery heels when not in the tub. It is in fact preferable that triplets are involved somewhere and that they are from Sweden and are blonde. Men are able to enjoy the movie along with their female counterparts because they do not need masculinism and they understand the importance of the female sex drive and the need for females to attract as much sperm as possible in order to fertilise their eggs with the strongest of seeds. It is after all, the order of things.

For men in movies their destinies and self worth are reliant on finding 'the one', who incidentally turns out to be a rather plain, unfortunate woman, with 'loser' tendencies, but whose uniqueness, quirkiness and blind loyalty is appealing. Male viewers become glued to this type of movie, and watch it unblinkingly, mouthing the words to the script in between shoving fistfuls of popcorn in their mouths. They have in fact become so engrossed in their on-screen fantasy romance that they have not noticed - or do not care - that their girlfriends are slumped asleep next to them, snoring with their legs wide apart, because 'Dick Flicks' are - as all women know - tedious, trivial and not interesting.

Men having their penis ripped apart and sewn up again if they want a baby

Women living, on average, 5 years less than men do and society just accepting that as normal without any need to act on it

Men in the top jobs being labelled as the token man

Women having much higher rates of suicide and mental health issues and no one thinks that's a gender equality issue

Daughters allowed free reign while sons are kept safely at home

Fathers crying as their daughters are sent to war

Husbands changing their name when they get married

Fathers being able to take a year off work when they have children

A man's single/married status being so important that he has a different title Mr for married, Mstr for single

It being assumed that women in the office will work unpaid overtime as the man have to go home

Small business owners, even the male ones, explain they just couldn't risk employing a man of child bearing age

Not being weird or suspicious when men want to stay at home or work part time

Hairy men being seen as disgusting, accused of being gay and shunned by the prettier men

Special sporting events for men so they can win medals in sports where they couldn't hope to compete with even mediocre women

A special role in government is required for the minister for men's issues (no such thing as men's issues just important issues)

The default being the father keeps the family home and custody of the children in the event of separation

Strong and independent men insist on paying their half so there is no sense of obligation

Young women and girls are unable to show any sign of emotional or physical weakness without being pilloried by members of both sexes

I really don't think men dying 5 years earlier than women is sexist/societal brhaviour. Yes their relative reluctance to seek prompt medical help and lufestule dactors have some impact. But mainly it's due to physiologicak difference. One eminent surgeon i chatted to recently likened women to "old bangers" (yeah, i know, charming...( who need regular repairs and maintenance but can go on and on. whereas men are like formula one cars, highly engineered, high performance but they crash and burn sooner.

The behaviour is society's response or lack of

"May's Macho Muffins"

This is a great thread.