What sexist behaviour would be the most shocking if reversed?

[GrumpyOldNag]

I was thinking feminist thoughts to myself (as you do ), and I was thinking about how this belief that sexism doesn't exist anymore creates a huge backlash against anyone who speaks out against it, which in turn makes people who do in fact believe in equal rights for men and women try to distance themselves from feminism because it's perceived as crazy and unreasonable. The problem is that a lot of it is so ingrained in our culture and society that it is completely normalised, and the majority of people don't even notice it anymore.

So what would be the most obvious, outrageous sexist behaviour, if we swapped the genders? Would it be men being followed, harassed and intimidated in the street, or on the music channel men gyrating and grinding dressed increasingly revealing clothing while women are all fully clothed? Men dancing in the windows of the red light district, or the overwhelming majority of politicians and CEOs being female?

What in your opinion would bring about the most uproar if one day sexism suddenly switched genders?

Sorry if any part of this doesn't make sense, I had a beautifully written OP all typed out and then my iPad lost it all for no apparent reason...

< fist bumps Boffin mum >

One would describe oneself has having a master and mean "a younger lover behind our DH' s back;" whereas to have a mistress would be to imply that one knew an expert of something or someone otherwise in charge of.our knowledge/ career development in some capacity.

The fashion industry would be run by women, but their main consumers would be young men. The women would design clothes which didn't fit the average man properly, or allow for his natural shape. Men would feel the need to cultivate an unnatural body shape to fit into the clothes, rather than demanding clothes that actually fitted. Any man who dressed for comfort rather than "fashion" would be accused of "letting himself go". Most men, rather than a minority, would also take to waxing, trimming and plucking bits if themselves off, and painting bits of themselves different colours to please the female dominated beauty industry.

Men having to wear heels to give them a better shape- even though it makes it difficult to walk quickly and painful to stand all day. In winter, women can wear jeans and a long-sleeved top for a night on the town. Men would wear summer clothes- short shorts and vest tops (heels of course) and would stand shivering in the queue whilst being leered at by drunk females.

When the baby wakes, the man automatically gets up to deal with them- he must do this several times a night. He must also ensure that during the day, he looks his best (losing weight and staying trim) and keeps the house tidy and clean.

Hope this isn't triggering to anyone regarding infertility/pregnancy loss, but I feel it needs to be said if we are switching the sexes

In the case of infertility everyone would automatically assume it is the 'fault' of the man. If TTC men would be policed and criticised over everything they did. Some family members would still say it was the fault of the man even when the problem was known to be with the woman, as we couldn't have anyone thinking she was unwomanly.

We vigorously protect the health of the foetus and suggest that men should always consider their wives to be pre-pregnant and ensure their sperm was top quality at all time, no alcohol, no smoking, no tight shorts, ensuring they don't injure their testicles through sports and other activities. Many women would consider miscarriage and birth defects to be due to this faulty sperm and some countries would imprison men for this crime. Men would alway blame themselves for their obviously faulty sperm and would feel less of a man, huge swathes of society would back up this view. Cos really providing sperm is the only real purpose of men after all and if they can't even do that right.....

Lawyers in the US are currently building a test case against a man who has admitted recklessly taking a long cycle ride before having a few cheeky glasses of rose with the boys the day before his wife conceived.

All drugs are tested against the default human and do not always take into account the differing structures and endocrine systems of men. This means they are not always as effective and calculating the correct dose can be problematic. Women don't give a damn, not their problem after all, but if men try and do something about health problems which solely affect them women are up in arms about the misogyny.

Men judging how others feed their child, their child's school, discipline method...

Men getting stressed about what to wear when going out.

Men wondering "girlfriend" jeans or boot cut are in at the moment.

Men taking charge of stuff like finding a nursery for their child and whether or not they live in the catchment of the school.

Words like slut, hormonal, nag would describe men.

I'm reading an interview with Joanna Rowsell in the weekend paper and trying to imagine the same article interviewing Duncan Goodhew. Only a quarter of the article would be about his sporting success, then the next quarter the interviewer asking him what it was like competing at the Olympics being bald, nearly half of the rest about what he eats and a paragraph about him eating chocolate, his body image, what he thinks sport does for teenage body's confidence in their bodies. All accompanied by a large photo of him dressed up for a night out, with a couple of much smaller photos of him with medals.

Men being denied access to education and restricted in academia for centuries, when few men have been able to make great developments their achievements are either ignored, such as Ross Franklin, or only acknowledged because their female colleagues insisted that they were, such as Mark Curie.

Despite this the lack of visible male role models in STEM is seen as clear proof that women are far better in these subjects. Any males who question this are written off as thickos who can't see this obvious evidence of female superiority.

...and then a male version of this m.youtube.com/watch?v=g032MPrSjFA
being used to try and encourage more men to consider STEM subjects.

no one giving a shit about men's sexual fulfilment as they get more out of cuddles anyway, whereas women's sex drives are powerful and not to be denied

When going to get results of fertility tests, the doctor will smile broadly at the woman and tell her in a matey way "Well, it's not your fault!" and then look pointedly at the man.

Yes, I'm looking at you military doctor in Germany. It wasn't even for fertility tests per se, the man had been blasted with microwaves at one point and they were trying to see if it had permanently damaged his ability to produce viable sperm.

People assuming that anyone with the title 'Dr' or 'Prof' must be female.

A men's sporting competition being referred to as the men's World Cup (since the World Cup would obviously refer to the female competition).

Female coaches being the norm for men's teams.

Hormonal being used as a derrogatory term when referring to men's behavior if they show even an iota of aggression.

I have been thinking about insulting words for men, in particularly ones that you could argue "were just a joke" in the way that degrading language for women is sometimes.

Equivalent to chick, babe, love: stud?

"The stud behind the bar" "Alright, stud? Can I have a packet of nails?" Reduces his function to sexual only.

I also quite like wanker. It could be argued that it is not an insult. After all, almost everyone masturbates, so it is factually correct. Also, men sometimes use it teasingly among friends "wankaaaah" is a greeting I've often heard in pubs etc. It could be used in the way the N word was - to subtly degrade men while saying "it's descriptive" or "I heard you calling your mate that".

Is it me, or does this thread sound fucking brilliant. I would love it if the world were plastered with young men's perfect chests and abs....

Men playing beach volleyball in tight little speedos.

Tbh I wouldn't want to treat men in such a dehumanising way, knowing what it feels like to be on the receiving end. I want true equality where it's ok for men to express their humanity, including their 'feminine' side and not be castigated for that.

Any small business run by men will be viewed as a hobby for pin money only. Both men and women will ask his wife when she is going to make him get off his swollen testicles and get a proper job. The fact that he earns double the woman does will be either ignored or disbelieved as she must be lying to protect his feelings because we all know how oversensitive bloody me are.

Any women clients will be incredulous and disbelieve him when he states he runs the business, they will insist on speaking to the woman in charge.

Any woman is setting up a small business will be viewed as the next Angela Sugar.

Scarlet no one wants to treat men in a dehumanizing way, we are not imagining a matriarchy but what it would look like if all the patriarchal structures were still in place but with women in charge.

I feel deeply uncomfortable with many of these, it is my own internalised sexism, as though placing men in the subordinate position makes it much more real and serious. It highlights that actually all this sexism is not OK and it is serious.

I commend your brilliant equanimity, and absolutely yes, in an ideal world (particularly as my kids are male) that is what we're striving for. But this version is incredibly appealing. To be the ones in charge? To not only not be patronised and belittled because of my genital equipment, but to get to be dominant because of it? Wow! What a trip!

I can see why it is so appealing to men and why there is so much resistance to changing the status quo!

I agree scarlet I wouldn't want the version of the planet this thread evokes to be real either. I saw it more as a consciousness raising exercise about how silent and all encompassing male privilege is in society.

I don't think anyone would really want to see this reversed would they? It's been a great way to introduce the concept of male privilege to people who just don't believe in it.

Does make me wonder tho, do men worry that they would be treated like this if the positions were reversed? Is that why they are so keen to maintain their positions of power? I know the first privilege of male privilege is that they are unaware of being privileged, but, why can't they bloody see it..??!

Men gain power by wiping out those in charge. So it stands to reason that they expect the same treatment.

I'm on a roll with these now.

The Masculinist movement would be derided and ridiculed in the press and amongst women. Any men identifying with the movement would be written off just needing a shag from a real woman but being too ugly to get one.

Gay men would only be acceptable when they were young, attractive and doing it for female benefit. All other gay men would be viewed with deep suspicion and assertions that they are just ugly masculinists etc.

Straight men would be encouraged and coerced into giving other men blowjobs whilst their girlfriends watched. This is hailed as the ultimate expression of male sexual empowerment. Men that don't measure up would be considered prudish and closed minded.

If people stay late at work, make fun of them or criticise them for not being on top of their jobs. Ask what's wrong with them, that they don't have children or grandchildren to attend to.

Working dads are considered the scourge of society and one of the main causes of its ills (up there with single Dads, the scum). They are also attacked for taking jobs from women that need them to support their families.

Stay at home Dads are belittled for living off their wives. If Dads that have stayed at home for the children divorce they are attacked for not having a career and just wanting their wives to pay for everything bloody gold diggers. Any penny of marital assets or maintenance given to the father will be considered to have been stolen from the mother, regardless of what contribution he made, by our male biased courts.

If men complain that they just can't win ever, women just sneer and say "well you wanted equality" when there is nothing remotely equal about their treatment.

Going to the cinema and walking past a wall sized advert where two clothed women protagonists stand in the middle with guns, one slightly short and podgy, surrounded by hot well toned nearly naked men. We won't get to know those men's names, characters or stories because their only relevance is to make the women look powerful and provide eye candy.

If my date complains about it I'll tell him he's being too sensitive or that he's jealous.

FWIW Scarlet, I don't think anyone here wants that to happen. I for one feel very uncomfortable on the rare occasion I see men's bodies used to sell things. Probably because I know how dehumanising it feels. Why would I wish that on a man?