Tell me about the most jaw dropping OMG moment you've ever witnessed...

[AlpacaPicnic]

Because everyone's got a story! And here is mine...

I was on a bus recently, quite a full bus. A wheelchair in the wheelchair space, one lady with a pram (unfoldable I think) in the buggy space. Bus pulled up at a bus stop, where two ladies are waiting with pushchairs, chatting to each other.

One lady gets on, parks her pushchair into the remaining buggy space. The second lady tries to get on, but the bus driver won't let her as the buggy space is now full. She asks the lady with the pram to get off the bus so she can travel with her friend. 'Pram lady' looks at her askance, and says sorry, but she needs to get home. Both pushchair ladies then proceed to loudly and verbally abuse the pram lady for being selfish and not getting off the bus, so they can travel together.

Everyone else on the bus was stunned into silence, the bus driver throws both pushchair ladies off the bus and drives off. Pushchair ladies stand at bus stop yelling and shaking fists at the receding bus!

I've never known so many bus passengers strike up conversation all at once, making sure the 'pram lady' was ok, and generally saying 'what a pair!'

On a bus in south London

Bus stops to let on lady with a toddler and pushchair. The lady gets on first and the child is still on the pavement when the driver shuts the doors and drives off leaving the toddler wailing at the bus stop. EVERYONE starts yelling stop - the bus is only going slowly luckily - and eventually the driver takes notice and stops. Woman gets off and rushes back to collect child and then walks back to the waiting bus and berates the driver. I think she was fairly restrained, then she sits down with kid on her knee.

The driver then takes umbrage at being spoken to like that and says he's not driving the bus any further til the lady gets off. Even though he was 100% in the wrong for being so careless. We sit there for about 20 minutes while different passengers take it in turns to try and talk him down and convince him to carry on driving. Eventually he agrees and we crawl off at snails pace with driver muttering under his breath the whole time!

Animals Sorry that happened to you.

My sister and I had an appointment to view a house for sale. The owner was supposed to be doing the show round.

We knocked for what seemed ages before a woman came round the side of the house and silently beckoned us inside. All the curtains were closed and the glazed front door had a blanket covering it so the hall was practically dark on a sunny June afternoon.

We went into the living room and two teenagers were sitting motionless watching TV with the sound turned off. They didnt even look up as we went in.

I've never been round a house so quickly, and when we came to leave we couldn't find anyone. We just let ourselves back out and scarpered!

The 'blood' in the sink one has reminded me

Friends of ours lived overseas, can't remember which country. They lived on 2 or 3 floor of block of flats, about 5 flats high.
They were having a problem with the drains, not draining away, loo not flushing, filling up and slow to empty. Then they started to get blood in the sink and toilet, and flooding out onto the floor. There was blood and guts and bits of flesh bubbling up and out of the loo.

They banged on neighbour's door, and they were having the same problem. They all went upstairs, knocking on doors as they went.

Got to the top floor and discovered that the guy in the top flat had started a temporary business slaughtering sheep for Eid. Great demand for slaughtering as many people buy a live sheep and want it slaughtered.

He didn't know what to do with the blood and guts and bits not required by his customers, so he was flushing them down the loo, and had blocked the whole system.

tapir I get the feeling you mean that last sentence quite literally....

steppemum I feel sick now. That's vile!

One of my colleagues had to attend an inquest as a witness but was very cagey about why, despite seeming very upset about it. He kept saying he didn't want to upset anyone else. A few weeks later we were out for drinks and he told us very tearfully that he had seen a man in the street hit by a falling pane of glass and beheaded.

On a lighter note, I came out of the gym once and saw a woman attempting to park her car in a space next to a sort of wooden bin shelter. As she turned the steering wheel she was repeatedly scraping the side of the car against the wooden fencing and corner post and it was making the most awful screeching noise. She was clearly upset so I went over and tried to tell her she was turning the wheel the wrong way, but every time I tried to tell her she turned it further the wrong way. I ended up leaning in through the window and turning the wheel for her. When she got out of the car we inspected the damage which was pretty bad. One of the crèche assistants came out and voiced the opinion that the deep gouges in the side of the car would no doubt "polish out" and we both nodded vigourously .

Bloody hell

Also saw a completely naked man strolling along a street in Barcelona. Nobody seemed very bothered.

Growing up I lived near a supermarket so lots of times as a young teen was called to rush to get veg etc one day walked to shop had to go through a snicket of one house pavement then a fence the front door of this opended and a man stood naked wanking himself off then walked in the middle of pavement while wanking !! Used to give me jibbers going pass there for ages to the piont I ran fast each time after and never looked at the house

I work very close to St James park (London not Newcastle!). I often eat my lunch on a bench looking at the lake with all the tourists.
One day a tourist was feeding her sandwich to the pigeons and ducks. A pelican waddled up and watched for a minute (that's not the weird bit, they live there). She fed another bit of sandwich to a pigeon and the pelican ATE the pigeon!

Couple having sex in the water on a beach in Greece. Water was only just up to their hips and it was very obvious what they were doing, esp as she was holding her bikini bottoms in her hands when he went at her from behind

AwfulMaureen - I lived in Camberwell once many moons ago - I saw the craziest things along Denmark hill to Camberwell green and coldharbour lane - the number of times I had to call the police for the very bizarrest of reasons (!)

Oh my BIL told me a great one.

He's a police officer and once went to interview a family - it was a hot summer afternoon and the door of the family home was open.

They sat in the living room talking, and he saw a large Alsatian dog enter the room, sniff and circle round, and then it crouched and shat on the floor.

BIL looked at the family, they looked back at him. Nobody said anything, so he continued the interview thinking bloody hell, that's a bit gross, then made his way to the front door.

As he was about to leave, the interviewee said hesitantly "aren't you going to clear up the mess your dog left?"

They had assumed it was a police dog.

shred - that is hysterical!

Cafecito did you!? I lived there in the late 90s and early 00s....in a high rise council flat which I had as a drama student. It was very easy to get council flats still at that time...there was a special scheme whereby if you left your home town (up North in my case) to work in London, they housed you!

It was the shittiest block but I have excellent memories of the place. I lived quite close to Camberwell Green...I love how it sounds like the tiny village it once was...and became such a crazed den of iniquity!

A student on my street commutes on an enormous unicycle. When seated he's twice the height of a car. It's very bizarre to watch but he has great skills!

RonBurgandy No! That's terrible! I never knew Pelicans were like that! I once saw a swan gulp down a baby duck...it was awful!

Marking place as I have some but can't think of any right now!

I saw someone doing a poo on my way to the tube one morning, about 7.30am. He was leaning against a tree like it was loo - with masses of people in clapham just waking in by ignoring / trying to ignore.

My most surreal London moment was on the central line - coming back from a meeting at about 3pm and heading into Bank. A man in a full gimp outfit came onto nearly empty carriage with the ball in his mouth, face covered in a mask. Just stood next to me, while I sat in my city work stuff, mid afternoon.

Me and the city guy sat opposite meon the the tube caught eyes and just raised eyebrows imperceptibly (so British) and carried on reading The Metro as Mr Gimp stood there with tight all over PVC suit on. I was sure it had to be a spoof TV show. If it was, I never saw it. I didn't even laugh though was desperate to. He got off after 2 stops, creaking plastic as he walked (no shoes, all in one PVC)

Parsley Oh I do, very much so.

I saw the craziest things along Denmark Hill - Oh, yes, cafecito! One afternoon I was having a driving lesson there, when I was distracted by a fifty-something woman, not in good shape, walking up the hill wearing nothing but a pair of stilettoes. After the instructor had saved us from crashing, he said "Oh, she's often here; you'll have to get used to things like that."

indeed, a road behind KCH.. it has its charms in a peculiar way.. it was especially fun being run over by the escapee on the skateboard with no legs and playing follow the arterial spurt every Friday/Saturday night.. either led to A&E or to a body some bits are nice... ish.. but yes.. quaint village no more

My friend and I once sat on the stairs in a pub above a group who were celebrating one bloke's 21st birthday. He was very very drunk indeed, and they had him standing on the table downing a pint in a oner. He drained the glass while his mates cheered...then for reasons only known to himself, he decided to whip his pants and jeans down to his ankles and dangle his todger about, shouting loudly. He went round and round on the spot making sure everyone got and eyeful of cock and balls, before very suddenly turning a remarkable shade of pale green and vomiting copiously down on himself, the table, his mates and his girlfriend, bare arse and genetalia out for all to see.
Fantastic!

Another. On a camping trip with friends and kids, out in the wilds of Scotland. An elderly couple turn up and pitch a wee tent not far from us in the evening. Come the next morning we are drinking coffee and chatting while the kids play on the river bank. The old man walks through our group to a rock jutting over the river, removes every scrap of clothing and his glasses, dives in and takes a wee skinny dip to himself, while we politely avert our eyes and raise our eyebrows at one another. Then he gets out again in all his glory, shakes out a towel and gives himself a quick rub down before getting dressed again and padding back to his tent with a friendly nod and a 'beautiful morning!' to us on the way past.
We all chorused 'yes it is!' and 'uh huh' and watched him walk off, wondering if that had actually just happened.

Another quick one. My friend used to work in a local pub and would open up in the mornings at 11am. I would occasionally pop in to drink a coffee and read the paper while having a chat with her. There was always an old gadgie in there first thing, known to everyone as Ugly Jim, on account of his grossly carbunkled face. He was a nice enough man, but in truth, not very pleasant to look at.
Anyway on this particular morning he ordered his usual half and a half which is a half pint with a spirit chaser. He downed his half pint quickly and raised his whisky to his lips, only to have an unexpected wee boke up in his glass. We watched in horror as he took the glass away from his mouth, eyed it contemplatively, then gave it a quick swirl before downing it in one.
O. M. G.
I couldn't get the image out of my mind, and for about three days I gagged every time I remembered it.

I got chased by a man dressed as a banana. I was with my friends and I literally dived into the Tesco express and he followed, meaning security took him off. The way he ran was funny, now I look back at it, as it was a kind of quick, stiff stumble.