Tell me about the most jaw dropping OMG moment you've ever witnessed...

[AlpacaPicnic]

Because everyone's got a story! And here is mine...

I was on a bus recently, quite a full bus. A wheelchair in the wheelchair space, one lady with a pram (unfoldable I think) in the buggy space. Bus pulled up at a bus stop, where two ladies are waiting with pushchairs, chatting to each other.

One lady gets on, parks her pushchair into the remaining buggy space. The second lady tries to get on, but the bus driver won't let her as the buggy space is now full. She asks the lady with the pram to get off the bus so she can travel with her friend. 'Pram lady' looks at her askance, and says sorry, but she needs to get home. Both pushchair ladies then proceed to loudly and verbally abuse the pram lady for being selfish and not getting off the bus, so they can travel together.

Everyone else on the bus was stunned into silence, the bus driver throws both pushchair ladies off the bus and drives off. Pushchair ladies stand at bus stop yelling and shaking fists at the receding bus!

I've never known so many bus passengers strike up conversation all at once, making sure the 'pram lady' was ok, and generally saying 'what a pair!'

Wait.....can you explain the turkey man story?!

I was at Longleat safari park with my family for the day and Dad was driving through the rhino enclosure. Before you enter there are big warning signs about keeping your windows closed and not getting out of the car. Except in the car in front of us there was a young teen sitting with his bum hanging out of the window and holding onto the roof rack, dukes of hazzard style, while it meandered around the enclosure.

We were . The driver didn't seem to attempt to stop the car and haul the kid in, he just kept driving, presumably enjoying the rhinos. It was some time before a ranger caught up with them and got the kid to sit inside the car.

How do we nominate this thread for classics?

In an expensive, romantic restaurant on valentines day with DH, a group of pissed people were effing and blinding at the next table, at the top of their voices. One of them proceeded to fall down a flight of stairs and then vomit all over the floor. They had only just arrived and hadn't ordered food yet. The manager did nothing, they were allowed to stay for their meal. DH wrote a scathing review on trip advisor!

I really can't! I was just going for the bus ..in broad daylight. He came running at me from nowhere shouting " gobble gobble gobble! I'm a christmas turkey!" I ran like the wind and when I got to the bus stop he ran off.

I was once shopping in tescos, walked down the frozen Isle and there was a man with his jeans pulled down shagging a frozen turkey, he even opened the bag. I walked back the way I came a went to seek a member of staff, a few moments later I saw the bloke being dragged away by security he was shouting "Joanne, Joanne I was only doing Joanne!" I always wondered what Joanne looked like having been mistaken for a frozen turkey!

PMSL @ joanne

Some guy chased us up the high street absolutely convinced DH was Jesus (he does have long hair and a beard). Like, utterly convinced. Not taking the piss. We had to leg it and seek refuge in Starbucks.

Rofl at "he even opened the bag"! :o

Shagging a frozen turkey can't be very comfortable!

Once upon a time, long, long ago ... in Middlesbrough. (I have to give the location, so Boro' readers know what I'm on about.) We used to go drinking 'over the border', as the booze was a lot cheaper. So were the prostitutes. One of them, a right character of very advanced years, was a regular in our favourite bar. She used to perform impromptu cabarets (drunk & badly) standing on one of the tables. The first time we met her, she offered my boyfriend 'a go' for £6. Then she noticed me right next to him, apologised, and became my best mate. She said she'd show me something special if I bought her a drink, so I did. She hoiked one leg up on the table, shifted her skirt - she wasn't wearing knickers - and invited me to inspect the cascade of polyps blossoming from her vagina. Each one was a different colour - as she explained, she painted them with nail varnish.

Garlic..you win!!!!

When I was doing my Access course there was one guy on it who was a little bit eccentric. During one lesson I'll never forget he sat there and farted all the way through it, we are talking the really loud gut busting types and with each one he lifted his arse cheek off the chair. He made no attempt to hide it or apologise and nome of us knew where to look. In the end the tutor had to ask him to leave the class as it was distracting everyone.

Garlic that is just, well, um just wrong. Eww. Etc....

The man in a hospital gown...open at the back...running for the bus in Camberwell.

It was as if he'd just leaped off the operating table! He was naked but for the gown...and the bus was one of the old ones, open backed...and on he leaped as the bus trundled off.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis it definitely made it into the papers in scarborough if it was the one that happend about... 30 years ago.

I went on a church outing at about the age of 12 to a local zoo. My friends and I were wandering through the monkey bit when a little monkey pushed himself up against the glass and started wiggling about. He had a rather large erection!

We started giggling in an embarrassed way when a lady standing nearby spoke loudly to her children who were slightly younger than us, that they were leaving because we were 'encouraging' it!

MissMarples That sounds very much like something that happened about ten years ago in the sleepy market town where I grew up, fairly close to the police station too. I remember because I was in my GCSE year at the time and some twats we were stuck in a drama group went on and on and on about the incident (which they'd heard about among the thug grapevine, I deduced ) - it was awful and made me feel sick and very upset just hearing about it. I wonder if it was the same one :(

garlic

Same location, different pub: this story's thought to be apocryphal, but it happened - I was there. A small group of unusually fit, clean & healthy men came in, wearing Navy-type sweaters. They ordered beer. The one who seemed to be the leader sat in a chair near the door, which as all the regulars knew, 'belonged' to a cross & hard-drinking chap who practically lived in there. He stormed over - someone quickly told the visitor it was 'his' chair and, politely, the visitor stood up. At this point, Cross Bloke was practically in his face, bellowing "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

The visitor replied, "I'm the Crown Prince of Denmark, pleased to meet you."

Cross Bloke riposted "Aye, and I'm the Queen Mother!" and nutted him.

As his helpers picked the semi-conscious visitor up off the floor, they courteously explained that he was, indeed, the prince of Denmark and they thought they should get him back to their ship for medical attention.

ImAThrillseekerHoney I follow her on Twitter, she's ace.

WishesIHadTheNerveSheDoesTiggaxx

On the way home from Spain last year coming through customs I saw a man wearing 6 sombreo's.

When I was about 13, we were driving along a country lane and at the side of the road was a young guy naked apart from his pants tied by his ankles and wrists. I got out, untied him and he ran off.

A man was walking along the high street wearing a mankini in broad daylight.

Middlesbrough in those days was a constant source of 'events'

Primadonna - Where on earth do you live? It sounds ... interesting!

I am fascinated by the Christmas turkey.

You untied him Shiny? At 13?? What did your parents say?