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Tell me about the most jaw dropping OMG moment you've ever witnessed...

639 replies

AlpacaPicnic · 30/03/2014 15:59

Because everyone's got a story! And here is mine...

I was on a bus recently, quite a full bus. A wheelchair in the wheelchair space, one lady with a pram (unfoldable I think) in the buggy space. Bus pulled up at a bus stop, where two ladies are waiting with pushchairs, chatting to each other.

One lady gets on, parks her pushchair into the remaining buggy space. The second lady tries to get on, but the bus driver won't let her as the buggy space is now full. She asks the lady with the pram to get off the bus so she can travel with her friend. 'Pram lady' looks at her askance, and says sorry, but she needs to get home. Both pushchair ladies then proceed to loudly and verbally abuse the pram lady for being selfish and not getting off the bus, so they can travel together.

Everyone else on the bus was stunned into silence, the bus driver throws both pushchair ladies off the bus and drives off. Pushchair ladies stand at bus stop yelling and shaking fists at the receding bus!

I've never known so many bus passengers strike up conversation all at once, making sure the 'pram lady' was ok, and generally saying 'what a pair!'

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2014 14:10

Somebody mention James Martin? Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/04/2014 14:19

Gary Rhodes, on the other hand, is an awful cunt for the olive oil. And so's Jamie Oliver. Grin

ClemencePoesy · 04/04/2014 14:20

santamonicademoreels.wordpress.com/

Aoifebelle these two ladies get around...

GarlicAprilShowers · 04/04/2014 14:25

BAAAHAHAHAHAAAA at big guy telling off his naughty car, Puzzled!

Cinnamoncookie · 04/04/2014 15:14

Waiting on the platform at Embankment tube station several years ago, a train came for a destination I didn't want, so I waited away from the doors. Lady with one child in a pushchair and another in a fabric sling on her back came hurrying up and got on the train when the doors had started to close. It was obvious the door was going to close on the baby In the sling, and another lady on the platform and I screamed and flung ourselves at the train, she to push the woman forwards and me to block the door closing. All we got was abuse for pushing her !

neiljames77 · 04/04/2014 15:32

I was stopped at the lights in rush hour traffic. I could see a bloke in his 50's staggering around on the pavement, obviously pissed out of his head. He looked a bit like a scruffy version of Art Garfunkel. Anyway, he stopped walking, stood for a while, then dropped his pants and started pissing like a race horse in full view of everyone. The thing that shocked everyone watching was the size of his knob. It resembled a bottle of Domestos with a sheeps heart on the end. It was ridiculous. The filthy pig then staggered around, trying to pull his pants back up.

BoiledPiss · 04/04/2014 16:19

'A bottle of domestos with a sheeps heart on the end'

AlpacaLypse · 04/04/2014 17:17

When I was about fifteen, walking home from school, I heard a really loud 'creak' behind me. I turned round and scurried backwards as a full grown beech tree slowly but inexorably crashed to the ground a few feet behind me. The twigs of its branches were over the place I'd been when I first became aware and started to run.

It wasn't even particularly windy. Beech trees are apparently prone to something called 'Sudden Branch Drop'.

Strangely enough, I don't walk under trees if there's anything more than a light breeze!

QueenStromba · 04/04/2014 17:35

If I was a bloke with a knob that big I'd be pissed by 5 o' clock too. I once met a bloke who told me that his cock was so big that he could only have sex with aged prostitutes. It can't be a happy existence :(

CrazyHhas5kitties · 04/04/2014 17:49

.

SoleSource · 04/04/2014 18:33

On the bus about 2pm going into town one very busy Saturday afternoon. I was about fifteen years old. A man was having a wank at the side of St. Martins church. Suddenly he emasculated. I was so shocks as I was a naïve girl and ha never seen anything so stomach churning. Loads of chum too. Masses of it. Bare bottom showing.

SoleSource · 04/04/2014 18:33

Ejaculation autocorrect duck off!!

SoleSource · 04/04/2014 18:33

F U c k

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/04/2014 18:39
Grin
ballsballsballs · 04/04/2014 18:41

I used to have a hideous NDN. She once asked her 3 year old DD 'What are ye?' 'I'm a bitch, mummy.' :( It still makes me sad after nearly 20 years.

She used to tell the story of going to the bank when she was pregnant with DC2. She (accidentally) puked all over the counter. After she'd finished, she looked at the woman behind the counter and asked her 'Aren't you going to clear that up?'.

AhCmonSeriouslyNow · 04/04/2014 18:41

loving all these.

I saw a guy once in November or December in Dublin walking up Grafton street with no top on. Not so remarkable except he had grapes on dangling off him that were threaded under his skin - sewn to him, I suppose, but dangling. Very odd. The woman he was with was in black shiny skintight pvc, as far as I remember but I couldn't get over why he had half a dozen grapes sewn to his skin, on his back and chest.

A brace of pheasant in the gutter in Shepherds Bush - why? How?

I had morning sickness with DS and was on the bus trying to figure out whether to get off or not (was on my way to a work conference and didn't want to be late, also wasn't certain if I was going to be sick). Ended up being sick into a nappy bag that was in my handbag (already had DD!) , tying it neatly and getting off the bus with it to put it in the nearest bin. I wonder what my fellow passengers made of that.

When I was pretty young, maybe 9 or so, on O'Connell Street in Dublin. We saw a young teen inhale something from a plastic bag (paint or glue, I think) and then run straight out into traffic. Made me really shocked and sad.

I had another but I can't remember. Gr.

HarderToKidnap · 04/04/2014 20:25

Some of these are absolutely brilliant!!

Mine - walking through Hyde park in Leeds with my boyfriend, now my DH. It was about 2am and totally pitch black. Suddenly out of the darkess loomed an enormous black man, 6 foot 5, built like the proverbial, wearing a red leather miniskirt, bustier and thigh high red boots. He was really really crying, proper sobbing, don't think I've ever seen anyone cry so hard. I made DH run after him and ask if he was ok, he just said "I'm fine thanks mate". Always wondered what had happened to him that night.

Saw loads of OMG things whilst working at a maternity hospital in rural Uganda, but nothing I'd write on a parenting site.

Whilst working at the local council offices as a teenager, I'd wandered outside for a fag. Was idling about in the sunshine when a man runs onto the lawn outside, strips naked and sets himself on fire! He sadly died later, it was a protest because the council had refused him planning permission for a house he'd built in his garden. They later did grant retrospective planning and it's now a nursery, and totally infamous in our town!

VivaLeBeaver · 04/04/2014 20:57

HarderToKidnap, which hospital in Uganda? I worked at Rushere for a while.

LokiDokey · 04/04/2014 21:09

The pheasant story has reminded me,I once watched a woman drive through the middle of our city, in rush hour (no countryside for miles and miles) with a pheasant stuck in the bumper of the side of her car. It was fecking huge and clattered loudly as she went along. As there was no way on earth she hasn't heard the racket I can only assume she was going it would either fall out our waiting for a dh to remove it.
I used to wonder where the hell it came from but I opened the back door last autumn to pheasant sat on my lawn so I guess they get about more than I credited them for.

neiljames77 · 04/04/2014 21:21

I was also responsible for a jaw dropping moment but didn't actually see it. I was driving a brand new truck on it's first day on the road. It cost about £60k I think. I crashed into an old woman in her car on a bridge in Lancaster and sent her through the parapet and a 30ft drop into the River Lune. Witnesses said it was like something out of a James Bond film.

QueenStromba · 04/04/2014 21:26

Was she ok neil?

neiljames77 · 04/04/2014 21:44

She was very lucky. She only got a cut ankle. She also got interviewed by Kate Garraway on gmtv. And she got a brand new car.
I got sacked. Then sued them for unfair dismissal and got £1500.

You can read about it if you like. Just google "river Lune crash skerton bridge" etc..

QueenStromba · 04/04/2014 22:00

I'm glad she was OK. £1500 doesn't seem like much for unfair dismissal - I hope you got a new job quickly.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 04/04/2014 22:07

I go away for he week and this thread is still going giving (I was in Belgium so nothing at all extraordinary happened.
A cunt for the butter has got to be a new catchphrase if not an acronym.

HarderToKidnap · 04/04/2014 22:12

Iganga, out east! Rushere is west? Didn't see anything west of entebbe to be honest. I'd go back in a heartbeat, if only for a Rolex for lunch!