I would be a bad mum... if I still lived in Germany! Or: differences in traditions and guidelines

[dodi1978]

I am German, but have lived in the UK for 10 years. In fact, I had somehow acquired a husband, a house and a baby at pretty much exactly 10 years after arrived on an Easyjet flight with one suitcase . Said baby is now almost eight months old.

But that's not relevant here...

What is relevant is the fact that I am a terrible mum! Yes I am! At least if I am judge myself against German guidelines on weaning.

In the UK, the three rules seem to be:

1. Start around six months of age.
2. Avoid salt and sugar.
3. Don't give honey and nuts (ok, and a couple of other things, but the list is small).

And then, there is of course BLW vs. purees etc.

In Germany, BLW seems to be something that nobody has ever heard of. Even friends who have had babies recently seem to be utterly puzzled when I mentioned that some parents don’t give their baby any purees at all.

I’m doing a mixture of purees and finger food, having the little one eat what we eat whenever possible. But according to German guidance, I seem to have got it wrong, because, apparently, babies should have

• A potato – vegetable – meat – puree at lunchtime
• A milk – cereal – broth in the evening
• And a cereal – fruit broth in the morning

Ahem, fail!!! My pancakes with blueberry compote in the morning (which we only have occasionally, by the way) just don’t pass muster.

There are all kinds of other rules and guidelines as well, e.g. that that you should add rapeseed oil (no olive oil before one year!) to certain foods and how much and, oh yes, no yogurt before 10 months (fail!) etc. etc.

Sometimes, dear MNers, I am glad I am living in the UK! I don’t do well with rigid rules. Even the Pampers website has completely different guidance on weaning, when you look at the UK and the German version.

But this made me think… if you are from another country, or have raised a child in another country, what differences have you noticed in the guidance given and in the practice around birth, food, sleep, toilet training etc. as compared to the UK?

I am just asking this out of interest! It’d be great to hear your stories!

I mentioned the lørdagsgodt - im so pleased it is still the norm, our DS is only 16months but that's how I was raised and how I want to raise him so much easier if among his peers that's just how it is.

We've travelled and worked in Sweden a lot, esp when the DCs were little and we still do Saturday Snacks now we are UK based. It stops of a lot of whining during the weeks they know they can pretty much have their fill of treats on Saturday. It's not a forbidden thing so they don't go wild. Crisps and Coke that's all.

Me and DHT follow the same rule...Saturday is wine and beer and snacks for us too.

Then we all have the week off from treats, pretty much, unless it's a birthday or something.

Everything in moderation etc etc

Great thread. I live in Gibraltar which has a mish mash of British and Spanish traditions and cultures. I was born and raised in the UK so some the practices here seem unusual to me.

When DS was born, everyone visits at the hospital (family, friends, work colleagues). At one point there was 20 people round my bed! Home birth not an option but level of care from MW was excellent.
It's common to give the baby manzanilla (camomile tea) for problems such as trapped wind, colic etc. Even recommended by the HV.
Most girls have their ears pierced.
Everyone is out all the time with their prams, something which has been great for getting out the house and meeting new people. Most people live in flats which means friends all meet in town rather than at each other's house.
DS received LOADS of gifts when he was born (from DH Auntie's friend kind of thing!)
Really happy to be raising my family here though!

I did all the baby/toddler stuff before moving abroad so I don't have direct experience, but a friend who had her baby here, Chile, was told by the Dr. To give him biscuits mixed into his milk at a few weeks old. These biscuits make me think of sponge fingers, with a thick later of sugar on them.

Not a mum, much less a mum anywhere excitingly exotic, but this thread is fascinating!

The one I really notice with SIL is, babies sleep outside, even if it is so cold an adult would be shivering, because it is healthy. But they have to wear masses of layers and must never be allowed to get wet or messy (even temporarily) because it could make them cold.

LRD my MIL told me To put my DDs outside in the Middle of winter. She was telling me How some people put the babies in their cots for naps, in a darkened room [cats bum face].

I just said - I know- as I took DDs upstairs To their cots and closed the curtáins so they could sleep

I love the Finnish baby box :)
The Uk government should have introduced that instead I the healthy eating money thing they did a while ago (and stopped just before we qualified typically!)

This is really funny and fascinating.

My ex MIL is Austrian and I remember all the fussing between her and the old Oma (grandmother) re my refusal to dress my babies in hand knitted woollen leggings and hats in the middle of summer, topped off with a pram duvet if we ventured out of doors. Also, all drugs administered via suppository , catching colds from being barefoot, wrapping them up even more if they were feverish - i've literally wrangled DS1 off her to strip him off. And on top of it all hysteria, and arm waving - exhausting!

Actually, I should be clear i don't think all Austrians are hysterical, arm wavers - these particular ones were evil through and through!

When we lived in Hong Kong the full month celebration banquet for babies in restaurants was a big thing. I suppose it is a throw back to the olden days when you would celebrate your baby's birth if he/she survived the first month.

My six year old UK born dd is green with that if we lived in Germany she would only be in the first year of primary or even yet to start (rather than going into yr3). She also likes the idea of wearing her own clothes every day, walking to school on her own, with a flashy school bag, and coming home before lunch, then have the afternoon to race around on her bike and visit friends (she glosses over the huge amounts of homework I told her she could expect). She is practically apoplectic at the thought of having the annual July Wandertag (school trip) to the local Freibad (open air swimming pool). (And I wish I lived back in a climate where you can set a date in advance for this in the knowledge it will be summer!! )
I wish I could give her the kind of freedom I experienced as a child but relocating would mean my 4 year old would stay in Kindergarten another two years (she is reading and writing in English and would not be amused!) and besides I wouldn't get a job to support us all... This thread is making me quite nostalgic.

My six year old is in the first year of primary in the US. :)

NK2b1f2 by "flashy schoolbag" do you mean the extortionately expensive Tornister (with matching PE kit bag and pencil case), which is ergonomically correct and has to be worn for all 4 years of primary school, as it was so expensive, even if she's sick of whatever colour theme she choose when she was 6 after twp years at the latest?

Don't understand the jealousy of having to wait so long to go to school - my 5 year old feels quite sorry for her German friends who have to wait so much longer.

I never understood the German negativ attitude to the "Ernst des Lebens", even when I was a child in Germany myself.

WidowWadman Thats the one. My dd longs for a 200 Euro purple design with fairies, or maybe the pink one with princesses, or the red one with horses...

Must say when I come across the "Help me choose the right Ranzen" threads on the angstridden German parenting boards I know, I'm rather glad about sending my child to school in the UK. Not only didn't her bag cost 200 owls, I actually got to make it myself :-)

And another strange German thing - every cold is treated with Sinupret and Acetylcystein and paracetamol as a minimum, sometimes Gelomyrtol on top. You simply can't get better without taking all that rubbish over there. But you can't get Lemsip for love nor money. Well, for a lot of money you might be lucky to find a soluble powder for hot drinks, but it's really considered rather strange.

People treat colds?

Do they still do the Schultüte? That large cone filled with goodies German children get on their first day of school. What a fantastic way to mark this new phase in life. I remember mine fondly. It had sweets and crayons and a colouring book in it. I felt pleased as punch walking to school clutching it. wish we did something like that here.

Ahhh, you're making me 'home' sick WidowWadman . Been here (UK) too long...

They do the Schultuete, (which also needs to be colour coordinated with the Ranzen if you're really obsessed). Must admit I made a Schultuete for my daughter, because I didn't want her to miss out on that tradition

At my time, the Schultuete was filled with sweets and maybe one educational item (book, pen).

I am told that nowadays it's rather the other way round. What a pity .

But yes, my boy will get a Schultuete when he goes to school. Not publicly though... we don't want to make the rest of his class jealous! He will just 4 when he goes to school (August birth) so we'll probably have to help him carry it!

Dodi I got dd1 one of the smaller ones, about a third of the size of the big ones and meant for siblings I guess. Plenty big enough for a four year old!

A UNICEF report a few years ago compared childhood in a few European countries. Very long, but extremely interesting. The UK does not do well at all compared to Sweden and Spain.

www.unicef.org.uk/Documents/Publications/IPSOS_UNICEF_ChildWellBeingreport.pdf

Ooh. Colds. In France we have snot sucking material and a thing you squirt up the nose. A kind of saline thing. It really helps babies with colds.

Your paed will explain how to so it at your first postnatal appointment.

We also have a chest physio person that will come to the home to treat babies and children with bronchiolitis and pneumonia. I have seen mine in my local nursery popping in for the last few days of treatment. This is free. And it helps. My British mummy friends have not heard of chest physio for such cases.

The English nursery I sent mine to puts babies outside to sleep in coach built prams in a special open pram port, unless it is 3 degrees or lower. It does actually reduce the incidence of colds etc, IMO.