What on earth is inside my pear?

[HairyPotter]

Bleugh!

I was eating in the the dark and didn't notice until it was too late.

[SarahAndFuck]

Now you've cut it open those round black bits look like caviar.

It's some sort of egg hatchery OP.

Take it back outside, hit it with something heavy and spray what's left with fly spray and furniture police before they hatch and eat what's closest to them (that's you at the moment).

Unless you have an enemy nearby, in which case stick it though their letterbox and wait for the news report about weird, newly hatched, pear minions of death devouring your nemesis while they sleep.

[ABWACADABWA]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Heh heh.

[BeaWheesht]

Anyone have any stories about alien beings in chocolate and chips? I need putting off those.

[SarahAndFuck]

Furniture police? Polish. Polish for gods sake.

Autocorrect is ruining my life today.

[ghostinthecanvas]

You need to copyright this thread in case Steven Spielberg is reading it

[BeaWheesht]

Furniture police? Do they rid the world of swirly patterned couches?

[Catsmamma]

oooh it's a Helix pear...anyone else watching that??

That's all infection, blackgoo and bosanova tunes

The monkeys escaped, planted that pear in HairyPotter 's fruit bowl and now she will be posessed by the black goo and get very scary red eyes.

[GlaikitFizzog]

You know normally I would hairy, but I'm illing you see. I wouldn't want you to get ill from me.

[WowserBowser]

[SarahAndFuck]

I believe the Furniture Police are over in Sweden at the moment Bea, sorting out the house of Brides and Stapled Swans

[ABWACADABWA]

I will kill you in your sleeps.

Just sayin'.

[YouLoveItDoreen]

Hairy I can't believe you retrieved it from the bin and then went on to dissect it! Personally, I'm imaging zz's scenario of being testicled (sp?) to death!

[GlaikitFizzog]

Hairy? Hairy are you still with us?

Right folks, we might have a man down, we must save her.

Who's with me?

[ABWACADABWA]

Tomorrow you will be awoken by hideous fruity pain...and will birth my hideous fruity alien babies.....from your behindwards vent.

[CosyTeaBags]

Oh god that's horrifying.

Sunday I like your only rational explanation, but I don't think it holds up. If it was rotting from the inside, it would be mushy. This thing looks quite solid,

And it seems like the pear has grown around it and created a cavity for it - look how the pear flesh has come away cleanly from it. If it was the core rotting from the inside out, the core and the flesh would be one.

My first thought was that it looked exactly like an avocado stone, but now that it's been cut open and is spongy with chambers, I'm not so sure...

Hairy how solid was it? Was it easy to cut? Does it smell?

Has anyone actually Googled for a sensible explanation, or would that spoil the fun?

[HairyPotter]

Sooooooo Wowser and Fizzy have abandoned me to the mutant pear zombies. Anyone's else want to pop round for coffee and a lovely slice of homemade pear tart?

ABWAC that looks suspiciously like my one. [Grin] Do you get yours delivered?

[SarahAndFuck]

You're on your own Glaikit, nobody else is going near that death pear.

They always do this on the films. They always go back into the rubbish bin at the end to rescue the pear and killed by the egg-spawn of death.

[AnAdventureInCakeAndWine]

For the love of God, Hairy, is there no limit to the number of people you will try to lure into your infernal web?

[HairyPotter]

Hahaha xpost! Where are you getting these mutant pear photos? Loving the pear baby.

[BigfootFiles]

The Fig 3 picture of the Bartlett pear with core breakdown could be at an earlier stage than your pear? www.omafra.gov.on.ca/english/crops/hort/news/tenderfr/tf1605a3.htm

[doorbellringer]

I just showed the pictures to my green grocer friend (hoping to come back here with a smart pants explanation) and his expert opinion was "what the fuck is that? I've never seen anything like that in my life"

Adds weight to the consiracy theories methinks!