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To Kick These People Out #2

999 replies

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/01/2014 14:35

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1963190-To-kick-these-people-out?msgid=44535428 Original
thread]]

Summary anyone? :)

OP posts:
Polyethyl · 22/01/2014 18:47

Can I delurk and tell my getting rid of a stallion story?

My work own a field which I have to manage (which is absolutely not our usual line of business and so we don't know much about fields!). It was leased to a man who didn't pay his rent so we evicted him. He took all his ponies except two, which he said he couldn't catch so he was abandoning them.

We employed professional horse catchers. They caughtthe mare but couldn't catch her offspring -a two year old stallion who had never been touched by human hand - totally wild. They said he was dangerous and they weren't going to try again.

So I phoned the RSPCA, they provided a marksman and rifle, a vet provided the tranquilizers, I found a horsebox driver and someone volunteered to adopt him.

The appointed day dawned and 4 RSPCA officers, the marksman, the vet and the lorrydriver turned up but not the adopter. After frantic phone calls she admitted that she had changed her mind.

Meanwhile the first tranquilizer dart had bounced off his muddy hide. This irritated the stallion so he was now charging round the field. The second dart went in - and made him sufficiently dopey to corner but it wasn't until he was injected with a third dose that he was doped enough for us to pick up each hoof and place it forward and hoof by hoof walk him into the lorry.

Thankfully during all this the horsebox man was able to see that this two year old was in superb and robust health and very good looking - so he decided to take him home to see if his wife could tame him. I was so grateful to him. Reading this tale has made me wonder what became of that handsome animal, was he tameable or did he have to be shot?

Oblique27 · 22/01/2014 18:48

I could bring another horse but I am new to this issue and can't tell if that will help....Grin

RoadKillBunny · 22/01/2014 18:48

So the rusty donkey is in and I am sending out the permission forms to 18 Brownies next week. One of them does a wonderful impression of an angry farmer and they are shit hot on the countryside code!

I am sure unreasonable wankbadger woman will be keen to take care of my responsibilities for me while I make myself at home in the beer tent.

I am not at all marking my place on the new thread. That would be most unreasonable of me...

NigelMolesworth · 22/01/2014 18:50

Now that's something I hadn't considered for this term's programme - synchronised tantrumming GrinGrin

Guide leaders are very resourceful too so we can wash up, erect tents and sing several rounds of campfires burning to add to the general atmosphere.

Chin up and stay strong - you're doing so well!

NatashaBee · 22/01/2014 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/01/2014 18:51

Poly that's a far more exciting tale! I hope I get to shoot something (only joking!).

Thank goodness that man took him on.

Oblique, that's not funny!!

But since I'm a pushover, of course you can Grin

OP posts:
thenicknameiwantedisgone · 22/01/2014 18:54

Blimey, she wants your tools too!!!

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/01/2014 18:54

Road kill we're going to have the full shebang of guiders. Marvellous.

Nigel those are extremely useful skills, they will come in handy.

what's on that placard? If it's let the horses stay, we may have to have words.

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/01/2014 18:54

Thenickname, oh yes, funny how she wasn't around to help with the clearing and cleaning of the house!

OP posts:
D0G · 22/01/2014 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ooerrmissus · 22/01/2014 19:01

Any room for DS2 and his drums? He's very good at chaos and cacophony. If insufficient room then perhaps the recorder? Nothing scarier than a six year old with a recorder.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/01/2014 19:02

D0G I may have to go into business.

Recorders are terrifying. Perfect. If you can get the drums here then they would be good too.

OP posts:
GlaikitFizzog · 22/01/2014 19:05

I don't like beer, will there be white wine for the laydeeees?

JennyCalendar · 22/01/2014 19:11

Oooh, does this mean I can bring my guide unit with me? They made some brilliant mutant pantomime cow outfits last term, which would look great galloping around the field.

I also have a 17 month old who loves shouting down a didgeridoo.

WingDefence · 22/01/2014 19:11

I've just thought - I got the date of the festy wrong. I thought you'd said the deadline was 28th Feb but I have muddled that up with my own semi-legal neighbour wrangle (which is a long story worthy of its own thread but I can't be bothered to post it)!

So if you don't end up bringing the deadline forward, the inaugural MN FuckYouFest will have to be the first weekend in April? Half term up here. Perfect Grin

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/01/2014 19:12

Glaik, yes, but only so there's more beer for the rest of us.

There will be champagne later on though. To celebrate our victory.

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/01/2014 19:13

Wing, April it is. Perfect. Let's hope it's sunny.

Jenny do you think they could turn it into a horse?

OP posts:
QOD · 22/01/2014 19:28

Om to the actual g

MarvellousMechanicalMouseOrgan · 22/01/2014 19:30

I have a saxophone and can crack into Baker Street at the drop of a hat.

JsOtherHalf · 22/01/2014 19:31

I am sure DS and his beaver troup would enjoy themselves at a festival. Their singing is...interesting.

FairPhyllis · 22/01/2014 19:37

How can I have forgotten this? I can provide an entire ex-Oxford chapel choir and organists you will have to provide the organ though OP

We will do a concert in the evening and then a very, very quiet service in the morning because we will all have hangovers.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/01/2014 19:43

Fairphyllis! Shock I'm picturing it now, it's dawn, the sun is rising through the morning mist-tendrils. A soft wind sways the wildflowers as the choir begins. The birds' own dawn chorus joins the beautiful music, broken only by the occasional groan of a hungover mumsnetter reaching for the sick bucket.

< sigh >

Perfection.

OP posts:
NCISaddict · 22/01/2014 19:51

I've delurked just to say I can provide the first aid which will undoubtedly be needed at least until after I've consumed far too much wine, cider and anything else I can lay my hands on. I will then fix the evil freeloading ones with my basilisk stare which is very scary so I'm told.
I can supply vomit bowls too for the morning after.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 22/01/2014 19:52

NCIS you are a vital member of the team and will be awarded a special hat and sash.

OP posts:
SquinkiesRule · 22/01/2014 19:54

Marking my spot to find out what the crazy horse rescuer will do to the OP next

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