the kids have named the baby budgie....

[gussiegrips]

For reasons which have passed me by, we seem to be having to hand rear a baby budgie.

It is very small and wasn't responding well yesterday. It appears to have grey feathers, like it's dad.

I warned the kids that it was likely to die, and they were not, under any circumstances to give it a name not after the rabbit debacle.

Naturally, I overheard "well, he's grey. We should name him after something to do with grey".

uh oh

"Graeme"

Graeme the budgie. So named, because he's grey. Hope the fecker lives now. Cheered me up no end.

Graeme.

How timely that this thread is covering my main preoccupation at the moment- pelvic floor dysfunction! I was at an exercise class the other night, had had a big drink beforehand, there was lots of skipping, star jumps etc and basically it all leaked out!!!! Horrified, I've been googling the symptoms, the cures, the miracle products, you name it, ever since!!! Why are pelvic floor exercises so hard to do? The feeling is just weird and unpleasant, like trying to grip something with pathetically weak fingers- you just can't hold onto it! And to think you have to do that very day for the rest of your life!!! I'm worried I may have a slight prolapse- how do I tell? Was thinking of buying those cones / weight things you can get on Amazon- will they make it easier? However I notice you shouldn't use them if you have a prolapse. Anyone have any experience of them?

oldclothcat …

Exactly!

For you Janfrank

Oh god. Dwarf flop eared rabbits. We had one. He was enoooooormous and vicious and totally unfriendly. Daughter was convinced you could house train them. You can't so we had rabbit poo all over the house. Kicked hell out of you if you tried to pick him up. Persuaded daughter that he would be better off elsewhere. Persuaded gullible friend to take him. Rabbit dug huge holes all over her garden. (It's a rabbit for gods sake what do you expect). She gave to another equally gullible friend. Who's next door neighbours dog ate him. Good riddance (daughter very upset at gipsy's - yes he had a name - untimely end). Stuck with hamsters after that

How's Graeme now? I could budgie sit, I'm only in Glasgow and it sound like you're in Gorgie so it would only take an hour or so to get to you. He could be a Weegie budgie for the weekend.

janfrank- lighten up please.

Wow, Grame made the Roundup

Graeme even

Are you a bit dim, janfrank, or did you just read the opening post then skip to the end? (may be a trick question).

gussiegrips I was going to suggest you get a cat, as there bums don't fall out and they don't have to be carried everywhere and they don't break their toe by making a slight movement and you don't have to fiddle about with lamps or live crickets or anything like that. But I think...you are a little bit addicted to high maintenance pets, aren't you?

BTW, can I just ask...I've never wet myself or had my inside bits fall out and I don't care if I ever have sex again as long as there's chocolate...so I don't have to do those blardy boring exercises, do I?

Oh blinking shit. I accidentally hit report and I can't remember who. Im sorry goddesses of MN, it was a totally innocent post but a stupid phone.

janfrank, the OP looks after Graeme (he has a name, an excellent one at that, please use it) better than I look after my own child.

Who did you report?

Ohwhatfuckery (apt name btw), you reported Graeme?
Tut.

I didn't get the janfrank post either. To reference the last great MN thread: could that poster be on glue?

But just read Jsnfrank's message. Dear gods woman she is investing a serious anoint of time looking after this wee thing. I couldn't do it. So op and Jan.

Too tired to read the whole thread, but cannot wait to come back to read some more!

For you OP!

Uh oh. Fame has gone to his head. Erm, Graeme has asked me to make a statement on his behalf:

He would from now on like to be referred to as "Graeme - The Best Budgie Evah". If you do not address him using his preferred moniker, he will have you killed.

Graeme will not respond to idiots, sycophants, or people not bearing millet.

He likes to be tickled on the cheek for an hour at a time. No tickling, no interaction.

If you would like to him to appear on your television show, please ensure that the Green Room is not...he prefers grey. He likes Hendricks Gin, with cucumber ok, gin's for his agent, cucumber's for the bird.

Graeme would like everyone to know that he can, once more, perch. His latest press release image can be found on the "photos" page.

Please present your shoulders, ready for pooping upon.

Thank you.

Gussie we had 2 "female" rabbits. Ended up with 7 I had to rehome and she got pregnant again before we even realised she had given birth! Whisked her to vet for spaying am def pro choice when it comes to rabbits

Best wishes to ya Graeme. And to your humans.

Janfrank - to clarify, the reason I thought he would die was because his mother had abandoned him. He was cold, hungry and dehydrated.

Kind of like an ugly Oliver Twist.

I'm hoping I get cast as Nancy and not Fagin in this poor analogy.

Squeaky -best thing to do is show your fanjo to someone who is well versed in them. Like, a medic, not a lothario.

If you can feel a dragging sensation, or you have pain DownBelow and, you fancy some independent investigating then, well, prolapse spotting is easy now we have the wonders of the web. Get yourself a handmirror and an uninterrupted 15 minutes. Google "grade 1" and "Grade 2 vaginal prolapse".

do not, under any circumstances, open anything showing beyond a grade 2 You will need to cillit bang your eyeballs.

Have a look at your own bits. Anything bulging out? Nope?

Try coughing, pushing down and have another keek, anything bulging out? Nope?

Well, still take your fanny to someone who knows what they are doing, because not all prolapses are externally visible.

And, the good thing about having someone fish about in there is they can assess your pelvic floor muscle strength and teach you how to do them properly.

It's worth getting the hang of it. Apart from the whole pishing yourself issue, it makes sex less of a chore.

Truly.

Ask me how I know.

So, GP, ask for a referral to a women's health physio - and, #doyerblardyexercises.

Cures up to 80% of simple stress incontinence and means you don't have to daydream about Commander Hadfield in order to have an orgasm

Aj - THE DOG ATE HIM?

Do you still know this dog? Could he catch a wearisome budgie?

MrsW - stuff the budgie. Please let me be a Weegie Bird for the weekend.

I miss Glasvegas. Edinburgh is all very nice, but, oh, what fun I had during my formative years in Glasgow.

Thanks, that's a really kind offer. He could become like the class hamster, doing the rounds of MN?

whethergirl, no, you don't need to do the exercises. Not at all.

Just get comfortable with the idea of shitting yourself being part of your future.

My advice would be to do them, or I'll set Graeme on you.