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the kids have named the baby budgie....

261 replies

gussiegrips · 15/10/2013 20:38

For reasons which have passed me by, we seem to be having to hand rear a baby budgie.

It is very small and wasn't responding well yesterday. It appears to have grey feathers, like it's dad.

I warned the kids that it was likely to die, and they were not, under any circumstances to give it a name not after the rabbit debacle.

Naturally, I overheard "well, he's grey. We should name him after something to do with grey".

uh oh

"Graeme"

Graeme the budgie. So named, because he's grey. Hope the fecker lives now. Cheered me up no end.

Graeme.

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gussiegrips · 05/11/2013 22:14

I'm hugely entertained at the thought of surgically enhanced rats. Making bad records in the 80s. With Big Hair. And bigger lips. Oh, now I've got an ugly thought in my head about the outrage surrounding the current trend towards rodent labiaplasty. We could have a MN campaign?

Put the quails and outdoor budgies to bed. There's been a lot of fireworks here, and, it seems the whizzbanging has given one of them such a fright that her bum has fallen out. Again. Ugh.

The irony of a women's health physio owning a quail with prolapse issues is not lost on me.

So, I've just lubed up and stuffed it's weird pee/poo/egg tube back in where it belongs.

I feel a bit queasy, but satisfied because it stayed put. It's now in the well used "hospital cage" in the utility room. Fingers crossed it doesn't fall out tomorrow with the inevitable egg. Johnny Morris/Terry Nutkin/that blonde bloke with the spiky hair and the lisp never had to do that sort of thing. oooh. I wonder if Steve Backshall would like to push my prolapse back where it belongs?

DH is hiding upstairs, muttering darkly and drinking wine. Which, he seems disinclined to share.

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gussiegrips · 05/11/2013 22:15

Seriously, you lot.

Do. Not. Get. Pets.

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PacificDogwood · 05/11/2013 22:18

Quail prolapse

PacificDogwood · 05/11/2013 22:18

LTB is he is not sharing his wine Shock
'Tis abusive

PacificDogwood · 05/11/2013 22:18

if

gussiegrips · 05/11/2013 22:23

Pacific - you may well laugh, but, this is not the first time. Quails are prone to it...but, that's the sort of detail Vet Google tells you too late.

SmallestGrip announced to his class "I've got a quail's egg in my packed lunch. My quail laid it. From it's bum. The bum fell out, but mum put it back. And, now it laid my egg. From it's bum"

The teacher was very nice about it. But, his whole class have gone off eggs for a while.

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HappySeven · 05/11/2013 22:41

Brilliant thread! I've a horrible feeling you've made it all up though just to check we're all doing our pelvic floor exercises Grin

BoreOfWhabylon · 05/11/2013 22:43

I don't think we've 'met' before, gussie, but I luff you v much.

I also luff Graeme.

TeamEdwooooooo · 05/11/2013 22:46

Graeme is the best name for a budgie!
DS2 wants a dog called Steve. I've told him he'll just have to settle for danio.

ZingWantsCake · 05/11/2013 22:51

we were always given pet rabbits for Easter, but after two weeks they were given to my grandad because he had a bigger garden.

shame the foxes always ended up getting them.

another completely unrelated fact is that my grandad was a big fan of rabbit stew.

PacificDogwood · 05/11/2013 22:53

Zing Grin

Are you my long-lost sister??
You are describing my childhood.

I like rabbit stew too....

Animals are for eating unless they have a name. Named animals are Member of the Family.
This is were Jamie Oliver went wrong with his turkeys and pigs...

Chelsealady · 05/11/2013 22:58

I begged my mum for years to get a rabbit... Oh it ended in tears.

She didnt want one because we had dogs but decided to fence a section off of the garden and got me the cutest rabbit for my 11th birthday.

Anyway....3 months later rabbit had dug his way out and one of the dogs got hold of him.

Scared for life and will never invest in a cute fury animal again.

ZingWantsCake · 05/11/2013 23:14

Pacific

yes I am! how we laughed when I cut your hair! shame you were squirming and ended up with chunks of hair randomly missing & looking mauled by a dog....Grin

and give me my fucking money back, yo bitch!Angry
Grin

PacificDogwood · 05/11/2013 23:21
Grin

'Tis mine, all mine

I want small furries for my darling offspring, but they would need to be outside (allergies) and inaccessible to the masses of foxy thugs roaming the neighbourhood.
So, tortoise, eh, gussie? Are they cuddly and furry??
I bet they don't make anybody wheeze...

ZingWantsCake · 05/11/2013 23:25

you need that is a bit ambiguous - I read as your kids would need to be outside.

good call?!

glue a piece of fleece on a rock and call it Stevie. best pet ever!Grin

ZingWantsCake · 05/11/2013 23:28

huh?

I meant you know* that....

truly, it's bedtime.

PacificDogwood · 05/11/2013 23:29

Oh, kids in the garden, small furry inside with me - inspired!!
Particularly if I could house DH in the garden too... Hm.

Night, night.

ZingWantsCake · 05/11/2013 23:34

you too! mwah sis!Wink

gussiegrips · 05/11/2013 23:35

I'm totally serious - reptiles are the way to go for kids' pets.

They like being played with for the average kid's attention span in exchange for some warmth. They don't care if no one plays with them for the rest of their life, as long as they have heat and food. Cornsnakes don't bite. I don't think geckos etc even have teeth. Hamster bites hurt. Rabbits, we have established, can be a Lot Of Bother.

The best pet we have (and, we've investigated this quite sicientifically) is the snake. Every month it does something interesting, like sheds it's skin. And, it eats once a week. And, it's bum stays put. And, it has no toes to break. It's totally silent, no fur, needs cleaning out once every 6 weeks if you pick out the poo (ok, that's bogging) and, it has cool factor "oh, you've got a puppy? Well, i've got a snake, sucker" . ANd, as long as you give it a heat pad and a defrosted mouse once a week, it's totally happy. And, you can build it hidey holes out of lego and loo rolls. And, your pals think you are totally cool. And, when they come round they help make mazes for the snake to explore which keeps the playdate quiet for hours.

Cornsnakes get abandoned all the time, so you can pick them up from the RSPCA for cheap as chips - and, they'll even give you one that's easy to handle and feeds/poos/sheds without any bother. --plus, that means you can get one that's already fairly elderly. Life expectancy is up to 20 years for a cornsnake. Get an old one)

Costs the heat pad to run (cheaper than a bearded dragon/tortoise who need basking lamps at mega-wattage) and a mouse costs about 90p, one a week.

However, keep it away from your baby budgie.

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gussiegrips · 05/11/2013 23:39

He gave me a glass of wine. So, I'll hang onto him for a wee while, but, as he hasn't said that he loves Graeme with all his heart and forgives the odd poop on the settee and the annoying squawking - well, his card is marked.

That could be an interesting divorce application - "he abandoned my budgie" Is that just cause?

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ErrolTheDragon · 05/11/2013 23:55

Is that just cause?
no, but if Graeme mysteriously disappears and the snake doesn't seem to want his thawed mouse, that would be. The downside is that you'd definitely get custody of all your livestock.

The easiest pets are snails. Not those ruddy great African jobbies, just some nice regular garden snails, make them a habitat, feed on leaves, a bit of carrot etc, no problem with holidays you just release and restock.

ZingWantsCake · 05/11/2013 23:57

errol

we had those giant snails! well they were quite small. we waited for them to grow.

they all died instead. fucking useless.

gussiegrips · 06/11/2013 00:01

Seamonkeys. Those are a disappointment too.

And, triops, which need distilled water? DISTILLED? That's only for gin, surely you don't put triops into gin?

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ErrolTheDragon · 06/11/2013 00:04

That's the other good thing about garden snails, you don't even need to dash to the pet shop if one expires.

gussiegrips · 06/11/2013 00:06

Of course, the whole food chain thing kicks in with the quails. They love a chew on a wee snail, they do.

Besides. No. More. Pets.

Stop it, you temptress.

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