Do you dunk your penis?

[SaraCrewe]

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

We both get into the shower together afterwards,there have been times when weve both just fell asleep and not done any washing!

I only got to page three of this thread and all my eye make up came off through tears of hysterical laughter. I couldn't read the rest. I'm crying.

Cockmug!

((tea on keyboard))

My other alf would need a bucket to avoid displacement flooding.
Do you have a karcher in the loo to rinse yourself op?

Thanks LEMiserables. Once would have been quite enough.

I've always been content with a fish supper. Sniff.

classics!!!!!!!

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

Um, you make it sound so lovely, but you know what? yes, that is exactly what we do. The release of hormones or whatever it is always makes us both sleepy and we drift off cuddling. The thought of washing/getting up for a pee is way too much effort after sex

I can see though that many people have a post coital wee and I am feeling a bit bad about my drifting off to sleep. I know you are supposed to wee after sex to minimize the chances of getting cystitis which is something I am prone to. Is that why all you post coital pissers are doing it?

We have a Sainsburys bleach spray and some kitchen roll. Viakal is good for watermarks.

Arf! No!!! Don't think I would have stayed with DH if that was one of his post-coital exploits...

Gutter - I normally force myself out of bed for a wee because it really does seem to reduce the chances of my cystitis. DH is usually asleep by the time I get back

This has genuinely made my morning. OP, there is no shame in a penis beaker. I once shoved my minge in front of a fan after using Durex Tingle lube and keep a flannel by the bed "just in case" (of what, I don't know).

We have a roll of toilet tissue and there are always baby wipes loitering around. I'm the worst at cuddling post sex so, to be honest, the moment we come round from the haze I'm off downstairs for a cigarette and a wee. I'm clearly not romantic

We've fallen asleep post-coital and woken up with the condom erupting over the bedsheets, so I am fully in support of routined clean ups.

I only go for a wee if i need one, i wipe with tissues otherwise. I've never had cystitis so i'm not sure if it makes a difference.

Viakal!

Have you tried adding a drop of fairy liquid to the penis water? Your dh could give it a good stir whilst he was dunking - a bit like those self stirring mugs you know? Not quite sure what purpose this would serve but the idea of a glass foaming on the bedside appeals to me somehow.

I am usually having my post sex wee while the dunking is going on but I imagine it involves holding the beaker and giving it a good swill about.

favouritethings Yes I might NC in shame to my Halloween name ScaraCrewe No one will ever guess it is me.

DH generally gives me a cuddle and goes to sleep. I might have a sex wee if I can hobble there!

I do a post-sex wee (and squeeze and jiggle) while u can only assume DH wipes his knob on his pants and dumps them on the floor where I have to retrieve the when they have gone dry and crusty

I may introduce a cock mug. I think it may be preferable

Hahaha, not heard of using a beaker but I did have a friend who carried around what he called a 'sexy essentials kit' just in case he got lucky.
it was a pencil case with lube, popping candy, wet wipes, tissues (because apparently he liked to dry it after the wet wipes) nappy bags, soap, tooth paste, deodorant and condoms.

I can only assume.

Second time that's happened, I'm guessing U are not making assumptions about DHs knob-wiping habits.

Popping candy

Tell me that was his post-coital treat?

Pmsl, ive never heard of this.

Im actually crying with laughter at all the posts

I love MN

Popping candy?! What's essential about popping candy during sex?

What was the popping candy for?

I did have a friend who carried around what he called a 'sexy essentials kit' just in case he got lucky. it was a pencil case with lube, popping candy, wet wipes, tissues (because apparently he liked to dry it after the wet wipes) nappy bags, soap, tooth paste, deodorant and condoms.

Gawd, he must have carried an entire rucksack around with him!