Do you dunk your penis?

[SaraCrewe]

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

Do you think it will all start to die down when we reach another 22 posts and it's the end of the thread?

Turniphead1

...armedandfullyoperationalpost-coitalcleansingstations...

Still don't understand why he can't wait two minutes till she's out of the bathroom. It's not like sulphuric acid's involved.

Justine Greening gave this a bump in today's i. So I saw the link "penis beaker" and thought 'm going to have to read that. Hilarious (although I only looked at a few pages).

It reminded me of a public health poster I saw in a hospital a few years ago, advising people to wash their genitals before and after sex. I thought "good grief" - people complain about the passion-killing pause to put on a condom - can you imagine, with a fairly new partner, first time, saying "would you mind just giving your bits a quick wash before we go any further"?

Or afterwards "ah, that was good. I'm just going to give myself a quick wash now - be right back".

That sounds gross!

I'd sooner a packet of wipes by the bed!

Perhaps you should market it and sell it with some "Dicksinfectant" too!

Ahhh now I know what everyone is on about! No we don’t have one of these

Man 12 years ago when this thread broke Mumsnet. Reet pain in the arse that was. Swarms of pervy men

This must be a wind up - if not YUK !

Ah, the infamous MN Penis Beaker thread.
I'm not that perturbed at the thought of a post-coital clean-up station, but I'm slightly surprised that this thread stopped on page 40 back in October 2013 without filling up, and has only just come back to life in March 2025.
Now I'm sitting here on Mother's Day thinking about how my 1st boyfriend used to make the effort to 'finish' on my side of the bed, then he'd roll over & go to sleep. No shower, no wipes, no dunking. Selfish and sticky.

I've been on MN for about 7 years now and never understood the penis beaker reference, now i do 😂

Ah the lovely penis beaker... where is a river of sweetcorn when you need it?

Oh wow, I presumed this thread would be full. Remember it from the old days... several usernames and a long hiatus (for me) ago.

I miss how mumsnet used to be.

DH does not dunk his penis... for the record.

I had to re read this after it got linked again

the thread that blew up mn

I did post on it 12yrs ago ……

so many replies been deleted or asked for their comment to be removed. Wonder why 😂

so the important question ………

is the green penis beaker still used 🧪

I've been on mn forever and I am so happy that I finally saw the penis beaker thread!! So satisfying. Dicksinfectant. Fill the beaker. Brilliant.

Hilarious!

Just a wee then a squabble over who has to sleep in the wet patch.

Feeling very self conscious taking up my glass of water and camomile tea to bed now 😳

Ahhhhh ha ha ha ha ha!

…….and the beaker?

Tooth paste but no toothbrush? Errrrrrr?