Do you dunk your penis?

[SaraCrewe]

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

DonkDunker So the beaker now requires the proximity of a PC, laptop, or at the very least a USB mobile adapter?

I'm going to have to ban them now. Stormtroopers will be unplugging vital networks aboard the battle station in order to keep their codpiece sluices warm.

@FeministPixie
Am also concerned about the Zoflora activity.... that stuff is for household hardware cleaning not delicate tissue! Leave that shit alone and just wash your self with water or you'll be infection bound before you know it.

Lweji I'd be well impressed if he did a handstand over the bedside table.

Extreme dunking...

We have a similar set up but have an egg cup half filled with mouthwash for effective 'bell' sterilisation with no spillage.

I warn you all now that when it comes to Xmas Meet Up I will be bringing 'Fill Up The Penis Beaker' badges...

Actually, I might have to make some for Erotica. (OP, if you want to PM me, I will bung you a cut of the cash).

Hmmm.. Wonder how it would feel if he filled his beaker with club soda instead of water....
POPING CANDY

arghhh! I thought I was over this concept, but the cock nibbling goldfish has me dying all over again! hahahahahahaha!

POPING CANDY - I don't know why but this came up :)

The only embarrassing time will be if you stay over at a friends, and before you and your partner retire, you politely enquire if the have a penis beaker, or, if they are in the lounge with you, and produce two beakers, with a cheeky wink, it could introduce swapping into so many lives xx

What if he still has a raging hard on? Does he plunge into it horizontally? Must cause serious spillage

MNHQ could you please ask any important political visitors which biscuit they dunk? Pretty please

Scientific dipping

I can't possibly go to the lab now

www.kitchendaily.com/recipe/homemade-pop-rocks-recipe
what we all need now, is the perfect beaker to put em in.

Lweji "if you use a penis beaker, you may be considered a cock" hahaha!!

Have Penis beaker, willing to travel

avaheart Love it :)

'One teaspoon flavoring extract, flavoring extract, flavor of your choice'

Er, do they actually do, um, wang/foo flavour extract? :)

Alternatively, I hear that fish are very keen on Tutti Frutti or Coconut Boilie Amino in their bait. So for a really thorough 'dedicated cleanup station' mini-Fish Penii-cure afterwards, you'd want to slap loads of that on.

Well I for one applaud you that as parents you're getting enough of a sex life to warrant a permanent post-coital cleanup area. Though perhaps my imagination has got the better of me as I like to imagine a shrine for penis anointing - possibly with a little display of fairy lights and a phallic effigy for good measure.

Best I can hope for is that we find a forgotten toilet roll under the bed somwhere but usually discover that out toddler got to it first and has shredded it into tiny pieces. The usual result though is finding a single forlorn Olbas Oil infused tissue at the back of my bedside cabinet and howling in agony down the stairs to the bathroom in a demented cross legged hop.

PS. I'm heading to Poundland to grab me one of those penis beakers as I know they're going to have cult status and will make a mint on eBay... though it does sound oddly like my son's green plastic snack pot which he likes to eat Shreddies out of....

Oh, i'm going to sound like the fanjo health police, but sugar near your bits? POPPING CANDY?!? I can't even use lube with glycerin in it (i has the posh organic lube and my downstairs mixup has definitely noticed the benefit between standard lube and the paraben and glycerin free stuff. )

Asking for a yeast infection there. Yeast feeds on sugar, ask any brewer.

DeathStar I do believe there is such a thing as "cum flavoured extract" they use it to flavour some sex enhancement pills.

Thia has been bothering me - not cold water surely??? I know your DS is still young, so maybe you are still using it for its original purpose, but could you not find a re-use for those plug-in bottle warmers?

Simply switch on and you will have perfect temperature water for any dunking that needs to be done. Only problem is they take 10 mins to warm up - not sure where that leaves you...?

FeministPixie How about Coconut Amino Boilie Popping Candy followed by dunking in Pedicure-Fish-spiked beaker followed by nice healthy splash of Yakult? :)

There's a penis museum in Reykjavik - just saying!!

avaheart Surely minty fresh sex enhancement pills would be a better way to start things off... lol

just, like, water? sparkling water if you want to get the fizzy to get you in a tizzy?

An unhappy fanjo is one that'd not be getting much action and cause discomfort. Ain't nobody got time for that!

but I'm just maybe a little obsessed with keeping mine healthy and happy, what with the organic lube and the mooncup and the cloth pads and always cotton all the time knickers. I was so so so mad when I couldn't get unscented disposable pads that I went all eco sanpro