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Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
DeathStar · 10/10/2013 14:57

Pinkman Ah, Friday.

That's when you put the clean straw down and the hoof man visits.

avaheart Can't help thinking that his terrified face printed on that beaker would be somehow so appropriate :)

FeministPixie · 10/10/2013 15:03

This was so funny i actually came back to MN after a year.

I was a little concerned with the Zoflora and douche person though. your vagina and such is a self cleaning organism with a delicate chemical balance. Fucking with that shit is not good and often does way more harm than just wiping with a tissue and can cause bacterial vaginosis. :s

Lweji · 10/10/2013 15:05

ebay item with 7 bids and read the questions and answers.

avaheart · 10/10/2013 15:09

I have no idea why that posted twice.

MolehillAlchemy · 10/10/2013 15:11

It's not really that weird is it? Just a practical solution to avoid the crackle-glaze effect of dried semen on the morning-after penis.

Certainly not as weird as the stiff sock propped up on my friend's bathroom radiator - only to be used in an emergency when she ran out of toilet roll! Good for number ones AND number twos, and fine to use again after just a rinse under the tap. AAAARRGGHH!

'Poo Sock' is now our barometer for levels of weirdness.

Father2B · 10/10/2013 15:11

I usually just wipe my dick on the curtain and leave

DeathStar · 10/10/2013 15:14

avaheart Exactly! Even better than I was picturing :)

Now - just have to get hold of one of those Pedicure Fish to hide in it...

Bentonbag · 10/10/2013 15:24

I did know one young man who dunked his in a tooth-mug full of cold water, but that was only after he'd accidentally got Deep Heat on it.

DeathStar · 10/10/2013 15:25

Lweji Laughed so hard I just pooped an Imperial Shuttle :)

Treppenwitz · 10/10/2013 15:26

The only thing on my night table is a Teasmade... which, it turns out, is the perfect helper for post-coital clean-up.

Before our lass and I have a go, I set the timer on the teasmade for the usual 2 minutes. After basking for a minute and a half in the after glow of competent love-making, I start to hear the soft hiss of the Teasmade getting up a good head of steam.

Occassionally, like the OP, I'll wait until the teapot is full of scalding hot water... take off the lid, and plung my willy into the cleansing depths.

But for a really thorough cleaning, there's nothing for it like holding my knob under the stream of steam spurting from the teasmade's nozzle.

Either way, the blisters usually subside within a few weeks. And the necessary abstinence during the healing period offers a refreshing newness to each new celebration of our love.

TiggyD · 10/10/2013 15:27

nice t-shirt for sale

TiggyD · 10/10/2013 15:29

Of course there is the question of threesome etiquette. If you're a bishop and the other fellow was a judge, who would get first dip?

Kingy27 · 10/10/2013 15:33

Hi all. I'm a fella and thought I'd share my experiences on here. I really don't get the willy washing. I've led a fruitful life in the sex department and I cannot remember many ex's running off into the night to "clean their bits!"
Myself and my wife just crash out afterwards. (Parents of a 2 yr old boy)
What's wrong in just rolling over and falling asleep? It's not like your walking about and it's running down your leg! Although having said that, my wife does complain she's been left to sleep in a sticky puddle, to which I try to stifle a laugh. Great debate.

TurkeyDick · 10/10/2013 15:34

when it happens at my girlfriends house, to stay quiet I always wipe my knob in the curtains, that doesn't disturb her folks.

bigjw · 10/10/2013 15:37

God, I'm glad you said this OP as I figured I might be the only one. YES - I have a penis cleanup Beaker. I used to use the Kermit hand puppet but he's just too gummed up now. So now you know why the little guy looks constantly terrified: farm9.staticflickr.com/8490/8187608548_066fc9073e_z.jpg

avaheart · 10/10/2013 15:39

Omg!! NEVER get the deep heat mixed up with the lube tube!! Shock

RomanticPete · 10/10/2013 15:40

For OP info ... yes we use a penis beaker, or pete's pervy pint pot, as an old sock used to give me athletes knob, but for her, we find a mop and bucket in the corner is sooo useful the mop for her, and the bucket to negate the need to go to the bathroom, incidently, you can swill the beaker in the bucket

TurkeyDick · 10/10/2013 15:51

Always keep a cleaning beaker alongside the bed, but a word of warning be careful, one night after doing the deed insterted my appendage into the beaker, BUT I had picked up the wrong one can you imagine the shock when I poked the wifes dentures around, and it did hurt a little. be warned

DonkDunker · 10/10/2013 15:51

Gotta keep it warm, surely:
www.vat19.com/dvds/usb-warmer-cooler.cfm
A foot spar might do the trick also.

Lweji · 10/10/2013 15:54

I do wonder about the mechanics, though.

Does the beaker stay on the table and then the penis is dunked by bending forward , or is it lifted towards the penis?
Hmm

And is it wiped afterwards, or is it left dripping water?

The mind boggles and I'm bored at work/don't want to star the new task.

avaheart · 10/10/2013 15:57

DonkDunker

I just died.