Do you dunk your penis?

[SaraCrewe]

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP, are you and DH ok? Not contemplating marital separation or anything?

I may have an insight into what a Muff Sieve is. Apologies, it's not at all hilarious. When my mum had kidney stones aeons ago, she was instructed by her GP to pee into a fine nylon sieve in order to check if she'd passed 'debris'. (Entirely redundant, as I believe you're in no doubt whatsoever, if you pass a bit of kidney stone. ow owow ) = Muff Sieve.

HTH

Nope, you aren't alone :) We learned on the day we got married that I had an allergy to his sperm, so, we also clean up immediately after sex. It has nothing to do with odor, or caustic whatever. Personally I don't think your beaker is so weird...you thought outside the box to create a solution that fits your lifestyle and issues. Yay you...since when is there a right or wrong way involving anything to do with sex between consensual adults?

OK I Dont get the beaker thing. I dunk, but I have a shallow bowl and some lotionlotion. The bowl is stainless steel on top of a small warming pad. Quick little dip and rub and I'm good to go.

Also we keep this in the washroom. Not beside the bed

is it just me really wanting one of these?

I've spent far too long this morning thinking of the logistics of the penis beaker. Has it been confirmed whether the water is warm or cold? DP said if he attempted to dangle his willy into a beaker of cold water it would shrink so fast he might as well use a thimble

Fwiw we did used to have an old tea towel that was used soley for the purpose of post sex cleanage but that got binned after I caught Mil drying up the Sunday lunch pots one time with it . Worse thing is I can't even be sure whether it had been washed (boak) or not

Did we ever find out what the muff sieve was? The mind boggles.

Speaking as man I don't think I could deal with the Cock Cup without laughing or spilling it also our kids would most assuredly drink it or perhaps the DW would after a couple of forgetful vinos.
We use wipes and now have a brand we refer to as Santa Wipes due to the amount of frothing that occurred whilst using them and the sudden similarity between my "chap" and the bearded present giver.
I did have a mate who played the "back 9" with a young lady and afterwards when he wanted to play the "front 9" she ordered him to wash up first, he obliged by dunking in the pint of water on the bedside table. Needless to say in the morning the water had been drunk by one or other of the inebriated.
Refreshing!
BLEURGH

Cold water wouldn't make it shrink. It's true that you can get shrinkage but this is more when the body is cold, not a cold dunk. Before I had my dunk bowl with warmer I'd rinse under a cod tab rub rub dry. No shrink at all

I need to bleach my brain after that MrMa!!!

Patersuecia - Changing station, you say?? :) "Witness the diaper power of this armed and fully operational changing station!!"

[does happy Sith dance]

So you have a clean up station? Like a cock wash? reminds me of a song:

"Cock Wash"

ooooh...
You might not ever get rich
But let me tell you it's better than digging a ditch
There ain't no telling who you might meet
A moviestar or maybe even an Indian chief

Working at the cock wash
Working at the cock wash, yeah
Come on and sing it with me, cock wash
Sing it with the feeling now, cock wash yeah

Come some of the work get's kind of hard
This ain't no place to be if you planned on being a star
Let me tell you it's always cool
And the boss don't mind sometimes if you act a fool

At the cock wash, woooh
Talking about the cock wash, yeah
Come on y'all and sing it for me
Cock wash, woh, cock wash yeah

(Work and work) Well those cocks never seem to stop coming
(Work and work) Keep those waxin' machines humming
(Work and work) My fingers to the bone
(Work and work) Keep up, I can't wait till it's time to go home

Hey, get your cock washed today
Be in our band, you don't have to pay
Come on and give us a play

Cock wash
Talking about the cock wash yeah
Cock wash yeah
Come on y'all and sing it with me
Cock wash
Sing it with feeling
Cock wash yeah [Repeat till fade]

Wowowoh
Those cock never seem to stop coming
Keeps those rags and machines coming
Let me tell you it's always cool,
And the boss don't mind sometimes if you, act the fool

Sara What do you use the water spray for >>

Is that on your bedside table too?

Wire brush and Dettol. And incinerate the bed sheets. Anything less is simply unnatural...

MrMa I literally heaved reading that

I just realised that it could be misconstrued when I said "I had a mate..." that people might think I was talking about myself. I WAS NOT, I have never drunk a pint glass full of tepid brown cock wash in my life!

I've joined mums net just to post on this thread and congratulate you on going viral!
this thread has been sent around our office as a joke mail and you've managed to brighten the whole office this morning thank you.
As a side note from a male point of view this is not normal none of the guys at work have ever done it (if they had they would not own up to it and we've got some hairy A55 engineers working here)

wow, i love this post!!

we do not have a penis beaker...

Hi just have a couple of questions; Do you signal you’re in the mood by leaving out a fresh cup or emptying it when you’re not up for it? And have you ever added anything to the water for comedic value ie menthol/ red food dye/ gold fish??

Hi just have a couple of questions; Do you signal you’re in the mood by leaving out a fresh cup or emptying it when you’re not up for it? And have you ever added anything to the water for comedic value ie menthol/ red food dye/ gold fish??

I have just thought, don't those plastic beakers from Poundland come in packs of 4?....How do you know which one is the penis beaker?

mrma that is vile!!!! Who admits to that happening anyway? It's saying 'oh I might have drunk a pint of shitty, jizzy water'.

I'm never drinking from anything except a sealed bottle of Evian again.

Cantfinda... Not one of those nibble-pedicure fish, I hope?!

This is the most middle class thread I have ever read.

Finding it hard to REALLY clean up after nookie? Have your wang and foo nibbled clean by the Garra Rufa Doctor Pedifish-in-a-Glass-by-the-Bed...

Don't know about you lot, but we are wrecked after and often just fall asleep in each others 'dirty' arms, if not we go to the bathroom, sometimes together, sometimes simultaneously. drop the formalities - have fun x dirty fun!