Do you dunk your penis?

[SaraCrewe]

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

Thank God a friend posted this thread on fb. I'm here to report that I keep baby wipes by the bed, to wipe off after. The beauty of this system is I don't have to constantly change the sheets from slogging fluids all around under the covers all the time, during post coital snuggling. (Yeah, I do it all the time, and by 'it' I mean 'it' and not slogging.)

WOW! this has just been linked on a another thread i'm on and i am boggled at how many people clean up after coitus full stop, let alone have a dedicated sloosh station. I am visualising a man standing with his old chap in a beaker of water and it just seems utterly mad.

I have never had to 'clean up' after sex. I am not sticky. Neither is DH or any (of the quite a lot) of the men i slept with before him. How dirty are you lot? Our sheets show no fluids or signs of sex (and they are navy and aubergine, so i'm sure if they were there they would). Am i doing it completely wrong?

We absolutely do clean-up, but we take turns in the loo.

The penis beaker is definitely strange. But you know, every couple has quirky things that are perfectly normal to them. And the comments are flippin' hilarious!

Those t shirts would be funny in a mn meetup.

This is too much

Thank you everyone :o

I love Mumsnet

"I have never had to 'clean up' after sex. I am not sticky."

Where does it all go then?

What Bun said are you and dh fluid less MrsK?!

bun I think you're doing it wrong?

Not bun
mrskoala is doing it wrong bun is fine...

I too have never heard of this...we clean together much later in the bathroom. After being so intimate, the cleaning up is shared too! A dunking beaker is new to me!

MrsKoala your dh obviously doesn't produce much seminal fluid when he orgasms - and you're obviously producing less vaginal lubrication than some ladies do. Shame

MrNicky, those T-shirts have given me the seventh fit of uncontrollable giggles of this thread! Brilliant stuff. Can't believe how quickly this has gone viral!

Penis Beaker smiley would naturally mean "I am so confident that sexual shenanigans are in store for me tonight that I am going to fill up the penis beaker".

Sarahcrewe you have become an Internet sensation. This has gone viral. You will surely get a spot on 'This Morning' for your strange clean up behaviour :-D

This gives a whole new meaning to "do you want to come round for a cuppa and a dunk!" Lol

A friend posted a link to this thread on Facebook and Ive just spent my morning so far crying with laughter. I also nearly spit my coffee out a few times. Brilliant and thanks for the laugh. Im just going to dust my 'sex clean up table' pfft haaa haa.

OK - so I'm a man and I had to register here just to comment on this.

No - no one else does this. Very few men, I suspect, would want to do this. What's wrong with a towel, or a shower or just waiting until you get up? Sex is supposed to be fun, spontaneous and messy.

And anyway - who makes beakers/glasses big enough for the job? :-)

No penis dunking for us either. I am mightily glad to hear some of our rituals are 'normal' though - I go and have a sex wee and he either waits to use the bathroom after me or cleans up with his tshirt whatever is lying around on the floor

MrsK - navy and aubergine sheets would definitely show signs of 'use'. Have you never SEEN CSI? The stuff gets EVERYWHERE!! ;-)

intrigued by mrskoala.

dh dunks in an egg cup

I'm thinking hostess trolley.
You could wheel it in on the night in question, having set the penis beaker to warm, thus ensuing no embarrassing post coital shrinkage.

Never used a beaker, but in fairness to the OP I prefer the idea to using a manky sock or a cum crusted towel!

I normally go to the bathroom grab a toilet roll, fling it through the bedroom door at him then go for a pee. I also wipe the sticky patch with a wet wipe.

I currently have a penis beaker and a cock sock on the bedside table, they are used for their secondary purpose of a) holding water for drinking purposes and b) containing my glasses - how boring, although we do have a sex towel.

Hope your OH can see the funny side if this thread OP :)

Probably been mentioned, but do you live in a tent Sara?
Otherwise there's no excuse - just use the batheoom

We were very boring we just used wipes back in the day.