Do you dunk your penis?

[SaraCrewe]

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

Oh God.

Someone has posted this to a friend of mine on fb.

Now thats all well and good but I take medication last thing at night and end up with a collection of glasses on my bedside cabinet and bathroom windowsill as I frequently forget to take them downstairs.

WTF woukd she have thought when she saw this this morning.

How can I convince her that I have not been hosting an orgy of penis (or penii???) dunking men?

Seriously I never realised my slattermly ways would have such serious cobsequences...

LEM, that could work although taller and slightly narrower might be be preferable. And perhaps with a soft rubber double lip for resting the balls.

And maybe a cream 'French Farmhouse' style one with 'Le Dunk' in swirly writing?

Oh, you utter bastards! How on earth am I going to be able to write any erotica for at least a week, without wondering if there's any way of featuring the Penis Beaker and getting the honking, chair-widdling giggles?

Anyway, can't believe we are over 25 pages in and no one's suggested he sticks his doofer out of the window and hopes it's raining.

And DS likes to have a drink of water placed on the chest of drawers at night, and I am a slob so the plastic cups (he's 9 and a bit clumsy) accumulate.

The penis beaker smiley would mean, "hey hey I'm getting lucky tonight :P "

I had an ex boyfriend who always used to say " when the frost is on the pumpkin, that's the time for dickie dunkin'."

He knew what he was talking about..

maybe mumsnet could start a franchise....

the foof flannel anyone?
the bum bucket?
the penis pitcher?
the bone bath?
the schlong sink?

given the publicity i reckon they would sell.....do i need to copyright?

I would think that as a couple, most people accept the inevitable which is some sticky wet stuff. A hand towel wet and/or dry is quite enough. Beakers for dunking my happy parts seems a bit much unless you're having sex during a menstral cycle in which case trip to the bathroom might be in order so you don't blood stain the sheets. Unless you like blood stains on your sheets...

Isn't that why dirty socks are left beside the bed? One sock at night, the other sock in the morning.

I wish it said 'dedicated post-sex cleanup station'

Then all you less hygienic 'Rebels' would be forced to "Witness the dunking power of this armed and fully operational cleanup station".

sigh :)

This was the post that actually made me include The Man in this subject .....we p#$$#% ourselves laughing ....totally in agreement that although personal hygiene is paramount why cant you use the bathroom at the same time ??? A year down the line and I still feel shy about daily bathroom activities however I certainly don't care 1 iota about using the nearest towel/shirt/curtain so we can spoon the early hours away in post coital sleep asap !!!

Having read this thread, I now have some worries.

1. A couple of weeks back, I sent a friend a packet of popping candy. Will she now think I'm hoping for some experimental lovin', rather than just sending her some not very nice sweets?

2. If I have guests, I always make sure there's a box of tissues beside the bed, and a glass of water. I used to think this was helpful in case they needed to blow their nose, or got thirsty in the night. All this time, will they have been wondering if they were going to get lucky?

Can I ever face my friends again, given that they're bound to know about all this, now the thread's gone viral?

You just made me yelp too ElleBelle!!!! I am new to this site today and this has made my day !!! saraCrewe you can't be a real person surely real people don't have penis beakers ????

You know those little drawstring bags you put specs and sunglasses in? Couldn't you just pop one of those on til morning? Far less risk of splashage and going Internet viral.

A cock sock, as it were.

!

I can see penis beakers in sale in tacky gift shops next to the mugs that sing Happy Birthday !!

CuriousLoveMuscle the beaker is for pouring water over your bits to clean with never ever for dunking

So... coff does anyone else have to sacrifice an entire bath towel every time due to the sheer volume of fluids expelled? My wife's talent for ejaculation was apparently something I, uh, brought out in her, but it's consistent and HUGE.

Does anyone else get this or are we just... gifted?

I just had a thought on the two sides of the 'what if you drank it in the night' issue. OK, most sexually active adults will have tasted a bit of - shall we call it 'combined essence of yin and yang'? now and again, but I think there's a big difference between having it hot and fresh and from the source - and getting a face full of it cold and congealed in a glass of water...

SomeGuy: According to the BBFC what you are is incontinent. Have a nappy.

OP have you ever considered just getting a box or a pack of baby wipes and keeping it by your bedside...seems easier than a dunking beaker. Save the dunking beaker for your dentures.

[laughwee] Ill never be the same after this thread...

Absolutely hilarious! Been reading this thread after being told about it by my OH who saw it on facebook! Spent the last few hours reading it. then a bit more time googling to see what else might be out there and found this!! You know somethings gone viral when this kinda stuff happens!: Penis Beaker Tshirts!

SlightlyJaded said: "I am in awe - not just at the Jizz Jug, but at the concept of a whole CLEANING STATION."

When our son arrived, I built a whole changing station, complete with slots for wipes and things, custom-built to fit perfectly on the top of his chest of drawers. So going overboard on things isn't that strange, just geeky.