Do you dunk your penis?

[SaraCrewe]

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

I was wondering.....

Is there a preference for material....does a ceramic beaker give a more pleasurable cleanse, perhaps a plastic beaker may cause water displacement and be unsuitable....

Other than that, what the actual fuck?! And is either one of you employed within the infection control capacity?!

Also...heeheeheeheehee!!!!!

I love how the telegraph use "Sara Crewe" as if it's actually your name

By the way MNHQ, if you could somehow fix it so that normal mners got priority on the server, that would be perfection :)

Has your DP seen this yet btw sara?

I can't believe this has gone viral!

The beaker seems a remarkably mess-prone and unhygienic system. Baby wipes (and a carefully folded piece of kitchen roll for the initial blobules) are far simpler.

And of course the todger-whisking only works when... well, when gravity is on your side in terms of keeping substances in receptacles, if you see what I mean. If the young lady is taking the high ground, natural seepage is likely to lead to a more distributed splash zone, at which point merely dipping danglies will be rather pointless.

We're parents. The one thing we're guaranteed to always have within arm's reach is baby wipes. If they'll clear up a nether lahar, they'll do the job for your common-or-garden custard cream.

Ummmm..that would be a NO to the sex/knob/willy cup/beaker/vessel by the bedside.

We finish, I do the "post sex waddle" to the bathroom lest cum dribbleth down one's thighs, sort myself out, lob him some loo roll for a customary wipe then deftly manoeuvre myself to avoid any wet patch(es).

Whaddya mean you've never heard of the "post sex waddle"???

I wonder if your guy is related to an ex boyfriend of mine who bought hand sanitizer and baby wipes to a rock festival and told me if I didnt use them to wipe my hands after I had eaten some doughnuts (I just brushed the sugar off like you do at a rock festival) and Im quoting this now ........ 'Well dont expect me to hold your hands I dont like sticky fingers' . xxx

I'm dying laughing :-)

This thread is responsible for me joining net mums

Reminds me of the time I was given a beaker to collect my pee in, along with a funnel to direct said pee into beaker - the size of the funnel suggested that the woman thought I was a bit of a slack Alice! Anyway, still laughing at this :-)

DH and I have been killing ourselves laughing over this threat, and he's always telling me to get off MN too...

bloody beaker people clogging the website to a crawl tonight

just buy some kitchen roll and a bin.

Knowing the MN fondness for Pedlars, would these do as suitably stylish and retro cock dippers?

Brilliant thread brightened up my day no end, and even more so when I saw the telegraph coverage!

Go Sara x

I've been trying to get on the site all afternoon to read this!!! 'arf 'arf 'arf

What is a penis?

"my penis beaker is a bucket" is going to be the new chat up line

You don't have a cleaning lady. I can tell.

OP have you thought this through? I mean, what's going to happen when you're both old and grey and keeping your false teeth in a glass by the bed? If old habits die hard, how's that going to shake down? Chomp chomp!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh this thread has totally jammed mn - been trying to post for ages

prob a lot of non members reading and then dunking their dp's member tonight

Can I ask why the colour green. Does it match the decor.

OP you are internationally known. A group of (provincial) Fremch women accosted me this evening with 'Sur Facebook....'.

So congratulations, you have the French believing the penisbeaker is a British Thing and we all have one. don't worry everyone I explained she was just weird They were very puzzled as to why we don't just use a bidet. It's not a conversation I wish to repeat

Blimey.

Brings a whole new meaning to 'teabagging'.