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Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
mignonette · 09/10/2013 17:26

Those cheap plastic beakers will tip over the moment a penis even so much as looks at them.

Me, I'd go for a nice wide bottomed Emma Bridgewater Mug or a Cath Kidston.

HaloHoney · 09/10/2013 17:34

Makes the phrase "token for the cockwash" have a whole new meaning.

morethan1 · 09/10/2013 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsWeasley · 09/10/2013 17:37

This is hilarious!! Grin

FrightRider · 09/10/2013 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TEErickOrTEEreat · 09/10/2013 17:37

This is the best.

cg1982 · 09/10/2013 17:47

this has made my day absulutly hilarious why dont you post a picture of this famous beaker?

cg1982 · 09/10/2013 17:48

also does it have a name you know max stephen jeffery or do you just call it penis beaker?

ArtisanLentilWeaver · 09/10/2013 17:48

A penis beaker? How wet.

What is wrong with slapping it off a tree a few times. Like everyone else does.

WipeItOnTheCurtains · 09/10/2013 17:53

I knew a couple of Sisters who shared the same penis beaker. Disgusting, eh? 2 girls, 1 cup...

Logicalsong · 09/10/2013 18:01

I am a Man

Our method is to use tissues and/or wet-wipes
We used to have a flip-top bin that we chucked the wet-wipes at.
Lovely OH has recently replaced the flip-top with a wide-mouthed conical thin plywood basket. We're now both a very good shot, not only do you get the satisfaction of the satisfaction but you get extra satisfaction when your spunky goodness scores a basket

liquidstate · 09/10/2013 18:09

OP nice name change Grin What happens when you go on holiday? do you take it with you or use the (usually very small) glass in the hotel bathroom? How do you manage to get it through customs?

Have you thought about putting an extra bathroom in? That way you can both mop up at the same time.

I usually get DH to come on my boobs, he likes it and its easier to mop up. except when he misses and gets me in the eye

PersonalClown · 09/10/2013 18:12

We made it onto Buzzfeed!!

armadaletim1888 · 09/10/2013 18:15

Whats wrong with dodging the sticky patch til it dries in? or get the febreeze out and start spraying the place after you've sprayed the bed? how complicated can this process get? hokey cokey, simple, in out in out, shake it all about...

helenthemadex · 09/10/2013 18:23

how big is the beaker? I need to know and wtf is a muff sieve???

I am going to ask every prospective man if he is a beaker man, I am hoping to find a jug or bucket man Grin

helenthemadex · 09/10/2013 18:24

OMG its on the mirror website

Hogwash · 09/10/2013 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadameOvary · 09/10/2013 18:37

Maybe now all these naysayers will stop thinking of MNers as tedious Yummy Mummy Bodenites.
This thread perfectly illustrates what we're really like Grin

LadyGoodman · 09/10/2013 18:37

Honestly OP does your husband appreciate what mirth u have brought to the world? Bet u never realised u should have patented the penis beaker u could have made your fortune Grin

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 09/10/2013 18:42

Box of tissues in a drawer along with the baby oil..... no penis beaker though.

3asAbird · 09/10/2013 18:44

Ahhh this thread made me laugh so much regular mumsnetter but saw link on fb this morning with young kids looking at me like im nutter tears streaming down my eyes cheered me up no end.

The thought of it on dragons den
you pulled fll up the beaker

would have to be big beaker as would have over spill.?

to me beaker is plastic something give kids drinks in never think of it in same way again now.

Do feel for op it has indeed gone viral hope shes not outed maybe if few of us say its normal . I think every couple has their own little private ways but this has escaped mumsnet possibly broken mumsnet as cant get pas page 18.

seen this

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/09/penis-beaker-guide_n_4071146.html

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/10367709/Mumsnet-creaks-under-the-strain-of-penis-beaker.html

3asAbird · 09/10/2013 18:46

Ahhh this thread made me laugh so much regular mumsnetter but saw link on fb this morning with young kids looking at me like im nutter tears streaming down my eyes cheered me up no end.

The thought of it on dragons den
you pulled fll up the beaker

would have to be big beaker as would have over spill.?

to me beaker is plastic something give kids drinks in never think of it in same way again now.

Do feel for op it has indeed gone viral hope shes not outed maybe if few of us say its normal . I think every couple has their own little private ways but this has escaped mumsnet possibly broken mumsnet as cant get pas page 18.

seen this

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/09/penis-beaker-guide_n_4071146.html

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/10367709/Mumsnet-creaks-under-the-strain-of-penis-beaker.html

KatyPutTheCuttleOn · 09/10/2013 18:47

I hope that you or your DH don't use false teeth......

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 09/10/2013 18:48

Pmsl this thread has cheered me right up :)

classifiedinformation · 09/10/2013 18:49

DP and must be slovenly, we use a towel or just go to the loo one after the other. I am intrigued.