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Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
SaraCrewe · 09/10/2013 16:19

Ha! I don't really mind, I discussed it IRL before posting here anyway. Utterly shameless, me.

OP posts:
ViviPru · 09/10/2013 16:22

The best tweet I've seen so far is "Danny Alexander? #penisbeaker"

radiohelen · 09/10/2013 16:22

OP have Phil and Holly called yet? This is exactly the sort of thing they and the Daily Fail will revel in for days! Obvs the Fail will call us names and discuss how we are all failing as women and mothers because we have time to discuss the penis beaker.
I do think you need to patent it quick... that ebay seller is going to steal your market!
And we need to package and market the popping candy to Ann Summers... although I think that might hurt!

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 09/10/2013 16:22

Does your DH relish his penis has gone viral?

DontDeconstruct · 09/10/2013 16:22

SEA MONKEYS!

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 09/10/2013 16:24

Oh God, realise not relish!!

Elfhame · 09/10/2013 16:25

Or maybe a penis flask?

Bowlersarm · 09/10/2013 16:26

OP - does your DH know his penis is famous?

Blatherskite · 09/10/2013 16:31

This is getting silly - penis beaker pbs.twimg.com/media/BWJJaKqCcAAnvuo.jpg:large

I have some of those for my children and will never be able to use them again now!

GhostsInSnow · 09/10/2013 16:32

Penis beakers now available [[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BWJJaKqCcAAnvuo.jpg:large in Ikea]

Blatherskite · 09/10/2013 16:32

That didn't work - try this

Twistandbust · 09/10/2013 16:33

Oh god - now imagining all OP's friends and relatives that have ever had them to stay throwing out all penis sized receptacles

LukesMum123 · 09/10/2013 16:39

What happens if you spill the beaker, I dont imagine penis flavoured water on the floor is pleasant to clean up?

londonleprechaun · 09/10/2013 16:44

I normally just wipe myself on her fuzzy bits...well, she's IS going to the bathroom after all...

(The man who likes to live dangerously).

ubergrrrl · 09/10/2013 16:44

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/RECYCLABLE-PENIS-BEAKERS-UNUSED-/171145946978

they have been ripped off already!

RooRoo86 · 09/10/2013 16:47

Penisbeaker, what happens if your not at home when te feeling takes you?

johnworf · 09/10/2013 16:51

This is a great marketing opportunity for Dairylea to quickly bring out the 'penis dunkers' on the back of the amount of interest on the 'net. I'm thinking they could replace the breadsticks with little penis shaped croutons.

Not sure I'd let under 18s eat it though. Hmm

Damnautocorrect · 09/10/2013 16:57

Christmas in your house is gonna be awesome this year op.
Beakers and merchandise all round?!

oldmacdonaldscow · 09/10/2013 16:58

The IKEA link is a Photoshop job. This is the real thing www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/10192956/

johnworf · 09/10/2013 17:01

Yeah, I reckon you might get one of these

NomDeClavier · 09/10/2013 17:15

Surely it should be filled with this rather than water? It makes it sound almost pleasant, apart from the syringing but I suppose if you're hygienic all inclined....

gamerchick · 09/10/2013 17:18

I don't think you'll look at that beaker in the same way again OP. ;)

JuanPotatoTwo · 09/10/2013 17:18

Well if you're going to double up and use the penis beaker as a denture holder too, better be sure not to use beaker for both purposes at the same time. Your dentures will have pubes stuck in them and a slimy coating, and your (your dh's rather) penis will have tooth marks on it.

Plomino · 09/10/2013 17:24

I really shouldn't be reading this on the train !

OP , what about if you have the urge to entertain yourselves 'al fresco ? '. Do you have a travel mug ? Is it a tall thin type or just the average mug size ? With a lid ?

I just have visions of an alternative version of Bill Bryson's toity jar running through my head right now .