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Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
SkodaLabia · 09/10/2013 14:47

PenisBeaker, are you the OP following a name change?

ugglyboots · 09/10/2013 14:54

I just got a "presents for men" catalogue through my front door and it didn't have one if these.

I'm going to call them up and mention the dick dunker - they're missing a trick what with the festive season rapidly approaching. My DH is always so hard to buy for...

Thurlow · 09/10/2013 14:54

I can't believe how viral this has gone Shock

OP, are you responsible for killing MN as it's overloaded with new visitors?!

Tasharaps · 09/10/2013 14:59

This is great...Can i patent a Penis dunker and get it on sale by Christmas !!! Brilliant...DRAGONS DEN !!!

PenisBeaker · 09/10/2013 15:00

Yes I'm the OP.

Christ, I had noticed it had got slow, I am so sorry! But I can't wait to tell DH that his penis broke mumsnet.

themidwife · 09/10/2013 15:01

Mr Spandau says "what about the balls?" GrinGrinGrin

themidwife · 09/10/2013 15:02

There was a Muff Comb on Antiques Roadshow a while back - does that count?! GrinGrin

taykiniteasy · 09/10/2013 15:06

I think its a MUFF SLEEVE...makes more sense no?
And @OP...Just where has your DH's dick been that is so dirty? I dread to think! Is it just Fridays?
And what is your protocol after oral sex? Hope he doesnt gargle with his sticky spunky water

themidwife · 09/10/2013 15:07

I stand corrected, Mr Spandau actually said "what about his tongue?"

onlysettleforbutterflies · 09/10/2013 15:11

The fact its green made me laugh even more for some reason. Off out now to hunt for a green cup, I feel like we're missing out by not having a green penis beaker.

I think tepid water is the way forward though, I think OH would be alarmed at the thought of dunking in cold water. I wonder if a teasmaid could be adapted...

RooRoo86 · 09/10/2013 15:12

Ha ha . . . Penis beaker!! Don't think I'll look at popping candy in the same way again.

We're a lay there in a sticky mess after the deed is done! Then bath in morning!

Alidoll · 09/10/2013 15:14

Hilarious...(tho if I was the OPs dick dunking hubby, I'd be seriously considering speaking to a divorce lawyer for relating that nugget of bedroom information nationally!)

cunexttuesonline · 09/10/2013 15:14

Penis beaker - well I never!! ;)

moominleigh94 · 09/10/2013 15:15

Do we really have to call it the Penis Dunker... makes me think Dairylea have brought out a new variety of those dunkers you stick in cheese spread. Confused never eating one again!

moominleigh94 · 09/10/2013 15:15

(A Dairylea dunker that is, not a penis)

dowelly · 09/10/2013 15:16

We also have a penis beaker which my husband calls a love cup. But little does my adulterous husband know that I recycle the contents of his love cup into his food and will continue to do so until I reach orgasm.

mignonette · 09/10/2013 15:16

Have been unexpectedly reminded of a yet to be solved mystery from my youth.

We were staying at my Fathers house in France and I got up to go to the toilet in the small hours. I met my stepmother coming out of their bedroom carrying a small bucket with what looked like wet towels in it.

DH and I laid awake half the night trying to guess what this was for. I feel slightly ill at the thought that i saw my Fathers Penis Bucket.

eastendfareast · 09/10/2013 15:19

This is now being discussed on a very large expat mums group in Hong Kong on FB! There will be a surge in demand for green plastic beakers - the Chinese factories will already be upping their orders!

DeeKirkby · 09/10/2013 15:20

I have never laughed so much in my life as I have while reading the comments in this thread! I was having such a bad day until I read this, and now I can't stop giggling. Thanks everyone.

HardFacedCareeristBitchNigel · 09/10/2013 15:22

Ewwwwww Dh goes and washes it. As we use condoms my bits remain clean and sperm-free ;D

capers123 · 09/10/2013 15:22

How about a doctored one-cup TeasMaid, with the thermostat set to a nice 30C?

HRHwheezing · 09/10/2013 15:24

I saw this thread early this morning and look what has happened?!

Have you thought about putting mouthwash in your penis beaker?

Gives it an extra frisson, I think you'll find.

HardFacedCareeristBitchNigel · 09/10/2013 15:26

How about...

The Penidunk

alwaysneedaholiday · 09/10/2013 15:27

Who empties the penis beaker?

I have visions of OP joining in a moan about DHs in the playground with, "and mine didn't even empty the penis beaker last night!".

Cue aghast stares from the other mums....

dingit · 09/10/2013 15:29

One wonders how older folk manage. You would need a different place to keep your dentures.