Do you dunk your penis?

[SaraCrewe]

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

My SIL knows my mumsnet username, this is going to be an awkward Christmas.

Back to Dragon's Den. Imagine the scene: The initial sales pitch goes really well, with the promise of many thousands of advance orders already (thanks to just this link going viral). The Dragons ask various questions about the product and seem to be happy with the answers given. Duncan, Peter and Theo each declare "I'm in", as camera pans out to reveal that they really ARE "IN". Deborah nips to the loo.

I just came on to say this thread is on Buzzfeed, but see I have been beaten to it!

SaraCrewe, you're famous!

I was led here from Facebook as well...I haven't laughed so much in ages. Had a really shitty week and you've made it a bit brighter. And who says women aren't funny...?

FILL UP THE PENIS BEAKER!!

Caitlin Moran & Gary Kemp from Spandau are now joining in on twitter! Absolute classic!

Caitlin Moran & Gary Kemp from Spandau are now joining in on twitter! Absolute classic!

Oh dear god! Really? A beaker? Nope. Not here. "Ugh"

I've only read the first page of this and I am in stitches!!

A dunking glass, hilarious!
What we do is keep a roll of toilet paper by the bed, wrap it around dh as he comes out and I plug myself with more to get myself to the loo, he wipes himself down, gets to the sink and washes.

This has to be one of very few mn threads to make me laugh out loud. So loud, and long, that my bfing baby stopped to stare at me to see if it was something she said

I love this place. Must ask my dh why we've never bothered with a beaker before.

I have never laughed this much at a thread in my life! Especially "thats not my penis beaker, it's too big.."

I must admit to having popping candy in the bedroom, never found the need for a muff sieve or a penis beaker

Saracrewe, i bet you never thought your penis beaker would make you famous

Always liked Gary Kemp...

Somehow the phrase 'penis beaker gone viral' just sounds wrong....

Spandau! There's a man I'd like to proffer a penis beaker with a wink and a rub of the ole thighs.

Be careful if you also like a nice hot cup of tea after shagging... accident waiting to happen!

We have a pens beaker we keep our writing implements in. Surely that's what the OP meant?

Omg i came upon this thread through a share on facebook and i have been in absolute stitches from the get go .....iv heard of some weird things before but a penis beaker?!?! hahaha!!! seriously cant stop giggling!!!

I have a variety of beakers next to my bed.
Lime green for penises,
Avocado green for nipples,
Forrest green for water,
Bottle green for nasal discharge,
And emerald green for toenail clippings and scrapings.

Then of course there's my arse bucket...

Tiggt you're missing a muff sieve

When Lakeland pick up on the marketing potential of the Penis Beaker (I'm sure they will -- it's a lot more sensible than most of their stuff), they should go with easy-wipe melamine and the Keep Calm meme. "Keep calm and swish your prick" perhaps.

I was halfway through a reply to this thread yesterday morning when I got distracted. So very glad I did as I don't think DP would have appreciated our after-sex clean up routine being dissected

Bloody hilarious thread though!

im seriously intrigued to know what the hell is a muff sieve?!?! lol

I'm not really into muffs. I'm assuming the sieve is to collect coins?

Is it warm water in the beaker or just cold?

Why not invite the neighbor around for a bit of cuckold, works for my husband and I

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