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Original poster

Do you dunk your penis?

995 replies

SaraCrewe · 08/10/2013 09:16

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

OP posts:
escape · 09/10/2013 12:39

There's a #penisbeakershops hashtag on twitter

cookymonster · 09/10/2013 12:42

This thread is both terrifying and marvelous at the same time.

Mumsnet's Barmy Army.

MummyBarrow · 09/10/2013 12:43

Has anybody contacted NotOnTheHighStreet with this idea as a Christmas Gift must have?

And secondly is filling up this beaker considered foreplay?

spies fresh water in glass in for a good time tonight?

dee1969 · 09/10/2013 12:44

Now I know where all the odd socks have gone, glued to the underside of the bed when he has used them as spunk wipes

Jottersmum · 09/10/2013 12:44

This is the most hilarious conversation I have ever read.

Do you dunk your penis??? Who in earth would think to do that, it's gross. Go to the bathroom like normal people lol

This is going to go viral in Facebook, it's how I found it.

gussiegrips · 09/10/2013 12:45

Not cillitbang - "clit-bang".

That's what I expect happens if you put cillitbang in your penis beaker. Will explode your clitoris right off, and not in a good way.

Jottersmum · 09/10/2013 12:45

I have to ask: how often do you change the water?? Lmao

MammaBean1988 · 09/10/2013 12:49

This is amazing. Best thread ever. We have designated "sex drawers" in our bedside unit, including wipes and tissues etc for cleaning up afterwards. Quite often just stick to the post coital glow instead. No beakers here! Love the idea though.

MissBattleaxe · 09/10/2013 12:55

"I've topped up your cock mug, it's your lucky night"

SkodaLabia · 09/10/2013 12:55

allchat, Zoflora?! Shock

hopenglory · 09/10/2013 12:57

Seeing this on twitter has dragged me out of retirement.

I'm off to write a new kids book for the That's not....series

'That's not my penis beaker, it is too deep'

Orchardbeck · 09/10/2013 13:05

I started reading this this morning and have just revisited, my 2 1/2 yo wants to know what's so funny, as does my 11 week old who keeps beaming back at me. I found the link on Horse and Hound Online, it will be everywhere soon!

tuffcookie · 09/10/2013 13:08

sarahcrewe please if you are ever in front of phil and hollie i want to know i want to watch you have really brightened up my wednesday morning, its viral, its everywhere, nobody will be able to look a green cup in the face again.

wonder if anybody dares go to a supermarket and put a load of green cups in their basket ?

Dementedhousewife · 09/10/2013 13:09

Oh my, tears are running down my face! I can never look at a Dairylea Dunkem again without being reminded of this thread. classic!

Louise2020 · 09/10/2013 13:13

We just flop back and let the dogs clean up, it's even easier now we have two.

hopenglory · 09/10/2013 13:14

I also want to know whether this knob washing was a skill he came with or whether you had a hand in the training so to speak. I've heard of small boys being taught to aim for the loo by using ping pong balls as targets. What target did you have floating in the cock cup?

tazc88 · 09/10/2013 13:20

this has been my morning entertainment reading this. it's already working it's way round Facebook and Twitter. i have a green beaker cup at home that my son uses. i'll never be able to watch him drink from that again without laughing hysterically!!

Groovee · 09/10/2013 13:30

Would never have thought of that. Dh uses what ever is close at hand to clean up.

TakeawayBear · 09/10/2013 13:39

My good lady would clean that bad boy up herself with her cake-hole. Then it'd be time for a tic-tac (for her) and a kip Smile

(This might be a slight exaggeration... We don't have any tic-tacs)

MildredB · 09/10/2013 13:40

Do you prepare and take the beaker in with you every time you have sex? What about a spontaneous quickie? We clean up at some point but it's never so urgent that we need a specific penis bath.

blueeyedmonster · 09/10/2013 13:41

Op you have made my morning Grin

Is it just a quick dunk or does he swoosh it round??

I'll never be able to look at the big green cups in my cupboard in the same way again!

oinktopus · 09/10/2013 13:41

I have to get up to have a wee because very early in my sex career, I didn't clean up and there was an incident which saw my penis welded to the bedsheets.

MmeLindor · 09/10/2013 13:42

I saw #penisbeaker on Twitter and thought 'it must be Mumsnet'

themonsteratemyspacebar · 09/10/2013 13:46

www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/the-best-of-the-amazing-penis-beaker-debate?s=mobile

This thread is famous already!!! Grin

(If link doesn't work, just go to buzzfeed website and its one of your top options)

PenisBeaker · 09/10/2013 13:51

ShockShockShock!!!!!

I have children!!