Do you dunk your penis?

[SaraCrewe]

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

this is quite weird - why bother? Don't use MN much, now I know why! ;-)

I've laughed a lot at this thread, and I think the OP is now my favourite mumsnetter. Hats off to you, SaraCrewe.

Aah that's funny - this is such an endearing thread

-howls- tooth mug violation . Penis beaker , I'm going to start trending this switches to twitter

-howls- tooth mug violation . Penis beaker , I'm going to start trending this switches to twitter

Someone PLEASE say something funny about Cilitbang :)

Trending #penisbeaker now

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This has seriously brightened my otherwise miserable day - thanks OP you are an actual star for starting this.
Will laugh for weeks at the thought of anyone saying "Get your beaker you've pulled"

Cillitbang- one dunk and the spunk has gone

my dh lovingly passes me a pair of his used underpants from who knows when from down the side of the bed and usually pops a dirty sock on his penis.

classy here too

saracrewe (can't bring myself even to type your new name), you might like to know that I was directed to this by Caitlin Moran on Twitter. THAT's how far your fame has spread. Just don't open the door to any tabloid journalists.

That reminds me of that great rhyme

In days of old, when knights were bold,
And johnnies weren't invented
They wrapped their socks around their cocks,
And fucked away contented.

Fucking hell, I've nearly burst trying not to laugh on the train! This is brilliant.

From now on, instead of saying 'how do you like them apples' or suchlike I will be saying 'so stick that in your penis beaker and swill it'. Is that how arguments are concluded in your house SaraCrewe (living legend)?

saracrewe you have also made it onto my FB page via The Metro London newspaper. You are well famous innit.

www.facebook.com/MetroUK?hc_location=stream

Ooooh look... it's in Metro here

metro.co.uk/2013/10/09/mumsnet-asks-the-internets-weirdest-question-ever-do-you-have-a-penis-beaker-4140154/

At the risk of being labelled rude and crass (even in this thread!!), then whatever happened to the good old 'wank sock'? If you want something to wipe up jizz and quam then it's as good as anything else...and there's always a plentiful supply around the bedroom floor!

They have the added bonus of turning into 'crusty footballs' overnight, just in time for a morning kick-around.

How long before Saracrewe is sitting on the couch opposite Philip and Holie? May be next to Katie Hopkins???

This is the best thread ever! Thank you for the laugh...i just use a towel lol

SaraCrewe. Do not fret. You are not alone. My bedside table is home to Zoflora, dishcloth (damp), pint glass (naturally) and douche bag. The only passion killer is that he prefers the water tepid so we have to pre-plan our sexy time a little.

SarahCrewe - this is the funniest thread I've ever read on MN. AND I read it all. Will you be my friend? People need friends like you to make us feel a bit less mad.

As your friend, I feel I should be honest and have a serious talk with you. You clearly need to see a doctor about your OCD around cleanliness. And take DH along with you.

Also, when the journos and tv crews come a knocking, and they will, make sure you get a good publicist and manager - rake in the dosh while this topic's hot.

And lastly, I was crying with laughter - hysterically, and my mum is sitting next to me asking me what I'm laughing at. I have just had the most uncomfortable share ever (I couldn't actually say it out loud to her - I made her read it - she wasn't amused - it was more a look of horror..)

And WHAT IS A MUFF SIEVE - I NEED TO KNOW...

cheered me up on a grey day. You lot are barmy!

(towel/babywipes/sex-wee/dunk in sink)

Having a 'thank god I'm not the op' moment. Hasn't she already said that they were outed by a friend over the penis beaker? Now this thread is all over Twitter, facebook and the Metro! There is no way that someone who knows the op is not going to see this!