Do you dunk your penis?

[SaraCrewe]

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

Not a jug, Ripping, a beaker obviously....

if there's any willy-wangling by a servant to be done, i want the water to be presented like this

Actually toothpaste has a similar effect to popping candy

You won't get it properly clean with just a swish of tepid water.

You need one of these babies

Oh My Word!!!
This thread needs to go in MN Classics - I have been trying so hard not to burst out laughing in the office!!
Its a loo roll by the bed in my house. DP is the first guy I have ever been with who likes to wipe after though - I think most men just roll over and fall asleep don't they!

No, definitely this one

I don't get what is disgusting about a penis beaker in a dishwasher.

You put the junk in your mouth - that's gotta be more....aromatic.

This thread is amazing.

Sara you have a 4 month old? Does your heart sink when your OH turns up for bed, penis beaker in hand? I was far too tired for any of those shenanigans when DS was 4 months old.

Zachary

you made that, didn't you

not glasses, spectacles

Zachary, what even IS that??!

SayCool that jug looks like David Niven

Haha zachary!

That, rather appropriately is a golf ball cleaner

Pop your todger in that bad boy and it'll be so clean you could eat your dinner with off it.

Ripping, yes! Imagine him as your butler....

Zachary did you just make that? Or did you just having knocking around?

And it goes in the dishwasher and back in the cupboard
So it was a pee beaker, it has now progressed onto a penis beaker.... What next? Will you potty train with it?

x post

Well, I've had my eyes opened re: popping candy. I did try the old 'champagne Aldi Prosecco blow job' once. It didn't go down well.

Haha. Go down. That wasn't even on purpose.

Is the penis beaker permanently filled up and ready, or is the filling of the beaker a subtle sign that you're in the mood?

If he fills up the PB in anticipation, but you don't want any PB fun do you pour it away again?

Do you never have spontaneous sex somewhere without a penis beaker to hand?

So.Many.Questions.

FTR I'm a slattern that just falls asleep afterwards! or calls a taxi

Penis Beaker is top rack safe...

The beaker could just be the one indication of imminent copulation.

The beaker is empty.... = peaceful night
That beaker is overflowing = bed's'a'rocking.

Takes a whole new meaning to the phrase "...the glass half empty/half full"

It's like the ACDO in the windowsill during the war!

at potty training with it. Yes, yes I will.

There's no such thing as a subtle cue for sex in this house anymore. We stare at each other wide eyed and exclaim "the baby is asleep! let's shag! quick!" and dash around gathering all the necessary equipment, including penis beaker. It's really romantic.

OMO, not ACDO!

It all sounds exhausting! Too much effort IMO. Plus, once one already has children, there's no need to attempt anymore, right?