My tip of the day for you all.

[MissStrawberry]

You can thank me later.

When you want to get out of the car, it is always sensible, and useful, to take your seat belt off first.

You're welcome .

If the oven is on fire, it is helpful to use the fire extinguisher or fire blanket to resolve the problem. Calmly calling your spouse to deal with the issue is not the appropriate way to do things.

If the 'stickiness' on your hold ups is no longer sticky, spray hairspray on it immediately before wearing.

When doing a tricky repair job with Superglue do it on a worktop or table not on your lap.

So if you happen to pass a man emptying one of those portable loo's with something resembling a hoover pipeyou have 2 xchoices, go round or step over the hoover pipe and carry on your merry way.

If you do the latter, you may spend some time wondering why the smell of chemically treated shit is following you! You may then get home to find a shoe caked in said shit.

I'd walk in the road well I will next time anyway

check tumble dryer for broken bits if orange crayon your child may have snuck in there BEFORE you tumble dry a load of whites

the toilet is NOT a bath for toys.good luck explaining that to an 18-month-old

not being able to sleep because your nails are too long or your feet were hot the day before are both valid reasons (if you are 6)

fire is hot.

true story

Oooh, one of top tips EVER (thanks Norbert for reminding me)....

When supergluing the tip of a ballerina pump together, do NOT do it whilst wearing said shoe and certainly don't use your foot to press the ends together. You could become attached to the floor.

Don't try to brush your teeth with Preparation H.

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath - are you banned by your family from using Superglue ever again? I am

Sibling Math:

4 divided by 2 equals 3 for me and 1 for you

geddit?

Check that the chair is there before attempting to sit.

"Also... Remove the sock puppet from your hand when deciding to staple hair on it..."

Pmsl :o

Vaseline is not a viable alternative to hair gel.
Only a buzz cut will remove Vaseline from the hair of a preschooler.

Don't try to wear your 2 year old's jacket. It is unlikely to fit and everyone will think you are a tit. You are very welcome

the more you clean the more tired you get
the more tired you get the less you clean

ergo: the more you clean the less you clean

so don't

My family are perverse and I'm positively encouraged Norbert

Don't try and superglue wall paper to the wall as you will glue your fingers together .

I remembered another thing.

Deep freeze spray is not a suitable alternative to deodorant. You will find it difficult to put your arms down...

on a similar note, deep heat gel is not advised to be used instead of your allergy cream...

formula milk makes coffee taste like shit

Socks are not suitable footwear when taking a toddler for an autumnal stroll through the woods. Oh no.

If you have a preference for having your feet washed at 4 am it is imperative that you allow lurchers to sleep in your bedroom.

Switch the stick blender off before attempting to remove the sharp bit.

If you decide to tidy up a bit down there and decide veet is the way to go. Dont put in on then walk around the house as nobody is in. Unless bald os the look you were aiming for.

It never did grow back in the way it was...

[Sigh]

Wine tastes nice.

You're welcome!

Do not wash your fanjo with Tea Tree and Mint shower gel. Seriously, don't.

ChaosTrulyReigns your tip has reminded me .... don't buy nuts at Christmas time, then realise you haven't got any nutcrackers to open them, so try the garlic press instead - it really doesn't work, in fact it breaks the garlic press immediately and then you have to chop garlic instead of crush it indefinitely 'cos you're too pissed off to buy another one.

Soup especially the original source black mint shower gel.