to go for a walk on my own for 15 minutes and have a good old roll in fox poo before returning home?

[Owllady]

signed
Owllady's dog

is it that time of year again already?

Guinea pig poo is my bollox !! So sweet and in bite size portions.
My cat friend bought me a baby chick to eat yesterday. Well tasty though I didnt get to finnish it as the lady owner shooed us and picked the chicks up.

Ginges dog

There's a tactic for poo rolling which works really well. You have to fake good behaviour and walk nicely on the lead so your human lets you off lead for a bit. Then when they're not looking you can lag behind and find a choice sample for a really good roll. They don't notice 'cos you are BEHIND them - how slow are my humans?
The trick is to make sure you get it rubbed really well into your neck - for me this works particularly well as I've got loads of long white hair. If possible get some on your collar as well as sometimes they don't notice for a few days that this is where the smell is comng from. Love it. Sheep, fox, rabbit, I really don't mind.

BubblePup

Ooh Ginge's dog, I used to love a good guinea pig poo, the male human used to give them to me as treats which was frowned upon by the lady human. Then the guinea pig went and died, no more treats for me. :( Cat poo is just not the same, and anyway they cover the litter tray so I can't get in it. I'm quite abused actually, the fuckers don't give me access to any decent poo anymore. We used to live where horses walked and I loved sticking my face into fresh manure and having a munch, but we moved. :(

The other day my female human had to cut ground in poo out of my bum fur. She didn't understand that I liked it.

MeerkatDog, you should call the RSPCA, We can't let them continue this bad....

Oh look, sheep coming too close to my garden!! BRB...

LissieDog

Hi i'm FerretDog, I really don't like to go in anything stinky.

I love baths, my favourite shampoo is the orange herbal essence stuff.

All you lot are just weird.

(I do like to pick fights with other dogs though, so maybe my stinkiness appreciation is being hindered by having to wear my harness and lead all the time...)

Oh meerkatdog they is bad. My humans put the Guinea pig in the garden in å prison so me and my cat friend can help look after him and as a treat for helping I get to eat the poo. Give me your addy and Ill try to get some to you on my 4pm walk !

Aww ginge dog that is good of you, are you sure your prison piggy doesn't mind sharing his poo treats? Actually, I don't care, my address is: The Road with Random Red Dog Poo (not mine) on it, Near the Park, Round the Corner from the Allotments, EARTH. Thanks so much, I just can't wait!

No worries. Might even see if my cat friend will contribute too. Doubt it though hes quite private about it. Black poo bag ok ? Then the humans wont suspect a thing
Woof woof just spotted a fox in the school field opppsite. Oh Happy rolling to me

Ah you fuckers are obviously young. Eating poo is fun when you are young but once you get past 84, seriously - it bungs you up something chronic. I discovered this after eating donkey shit last Summer and was off it for months. Come Christmas, my shits were like bonios and I needed something doing. Obviously i wasn't going to tell the human or she would take me to the vet and he would put his fingers up my arse so I had a think.

What I did, during that season of goodwill is still talked about today, honest it was THAT good. I ate every single strand of lametta off her christmas tree when she'd gone to bed, it took me hours of careful spaniel stealth but it was worth it. I'm not KC registered for nothing you know. Fucking genius that was as the sparkly ends helpfully poked out of my crack and every time I strained in front of the kitchen window she could see it. So what she had to do was pull the lametta out for me and abracadabra, that dislodged the 3 month old donkey shit.

Christ, I lost a stone that night....

Jake

Nothing tastes as good as my humans baby's turds. Even if I have to catch them straight from the butt. Fresher then!

Scrumpy-pup

Morning pups !
What gets me is you see these lady humans changing the colour of their pathetic bit of fur on their head? Well my lovely white and tan fur gets a tad boring from time to time so when we go on our tree walk I find a nice black stinky puddle to roll in. Sometimes of I judge the depth right I get a half half effect which I think looks great. But no the lady human just doesnt appreciate it and washes it all out when we get home. Is she some kind of fashion critic ?

Oh scrumpindog you live in dog heaven surely. The little humans that live here are too big for that now. Though the lady human looks after a small human who likes to share his biscuit with me and Sometimes his lunch too.

Apparently, IABU for letting out groan of pleasure when my human helped me out by pulling out a big wad of grass out of my bum which had got stuck when I was pooping it out.

I only wanted to show her how grateful I was!

(It wasn't MY fault that I had already pooped SO much that walk she had no bags left and had to pull it out using a dock leaf to cover her hands)

Labradorwhisperer's older dog again.

LabradorsDog, daft mare, she should be pleased you have such good manners. I will never understand humans.

My human is currently eating a slice of toast, it looks like the yummiest thing ever, even better than poo or lamb bones, and I have been staring at her the whole time, doing my best malnourished doggy face, and she won't bloody share. Frankly, I'm appalled at the standard of service here.

LissieDog

Oh I hear you lissiedog. Full roast dinner did my bestest malnourished face too but not a crumb . Fathers day pah what about mans best friend day ?

I found a delightful human turd floating in the loo, in the time before the first & second flush I grabbed it & ran off.

She didn't know whether to say drop or not.

Well no, I can completely see her point.

Exactly. After all, I'm the one who barks like a demon anytime someone walks within 20 yards of our house. Or the neighbours house. I'm the one who makes sure they get their exercise and makes sure they don't get their bills. You'd think they'd be grateful!

LissieDog

Goes and licks bumhole in middle of front room to show whos boss.........

Oh shit shes washed my bed again. Why cant humans just leave my stinky stuff alone !

Morning peeps!

Had a bit of fun yesterday - fabbydad got a box of Thorntons Chocolates for fathers day. (yes I CAN read). I nicked it and snuck out to the garden with it, and ate the lot! Sadly there were only four left as fabbyboys had got to it first.

On the down side, I was up twice in the night with the squits. Fabbymum was starting to get a leeetle bit cross with me. She wouldn't even give me a piece of her toast this morning!

Fabbyhound

Ooh Fabbyhound-hope you're feeling better.

You do know that chocolate, although irresistible, can be poisonous-so be careful!

Well, I'm feeling an oddity as I don't eat poo at all-anyone else?

My favourite thing was something called 'lip gloss', it was in a tube in the ladamebag (I love it in there especially when there's chewing gums, which reappear out of my bottom in strings, but strangely not minty anymore). I ate the tube with the stuff and the stuff stuck to my rubbery lips and I thought I looked great. Ladame did to 'cos she cried a bit and said something like 'but that was calunk? clerrneek? I dunno some kind of name and that it had been a birthday present, but so had I when I was an egg with hair and she said I was the bestest birthday present ever, so why did she bother about this one. It did make my poos come out better and be pink so she should be grateful really.

You want unreasonable? I'll give you unreasonable.

This morning, we got to the field below the church and it was... it was... heaven. It was covered, literally covered in shit. I shit you not (ha, see what I did there?)

And do you know what that woman did? Do you know what that bloody woman did?? Hey? Hey?

SHE KEPT US ON THE LEAD THE WHOLE WAY DOWN THE FIELD.

That's what.

Still, we did manage to eat a fair bit, once those annoying sheep (noisy buggers) got out of the way. And just to show that I don't bear grudges, when she bent over, I did give her a friendly kiss. She made that "Bleurgh" sound and played at pushing me away, so we're all friends again.

I can't quite believe this thread is still going, I am not sure my human has ever started a thread so successful

Today I took myself a walk again but this time it was to chase a hare. I would have caught it too but they just need to realise I can see them off.....

No poo to roll in today, so nothing to report :(