Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?

[TastesLikePanda]

Inspired roughly by a couple of threads recently...
I used to have a friend (used to being the operative) who would come round to my house to smoke. Her reason being that she didn't want her house to smell like smoke and she didn't like smoking in the street as she thought it looked 'common' (her words)

The punchline being that I didn't smoke
That friendship ended when I saw the light and realised that she was using me! She was happy enough to make my house stink and I was too polite (at the time) to ask her not to as I thought I was being a welcoming host.

Has anyone encountered anyone with more brass neck than that?

at the Mexican house thief.
the fuckin' brass arse of them.

I care not that this thread was zombiefied previously.

Coming back to read

Not as good as Mexican House theft, but about 20 years ago I became friendly with a work colleague in my first full time job.

I used to be invited over to her house quite regularly for a takeaway. She’d ask me to get there at x time and she’d always say “oh I’m just going for a bath” and give me something to do on her computer! This could’ve been writing a letter, Reading something, sort her emails etc. She’d be in the bath for about an hour while I sat there doing whatever she wanted on the computer getting more and more hungry. Once she asked me to go and pick up the takeaway and I refused because I didn’t know where it was, this was in the days before Just Eat, Deliveroo and Sat Navs. She was most annoyed she had to get out of the bath and go to the takeaway!

Nothing beats Mexican house thief, though some of the CF's on here are staggering!
I used to look after my step daughter whilst on maternity leave with DS-I mean I had her a lot! we had her 70/30 at the time and I was convenient to have her while she was supposed to be with her mum. One day I had been up all night with baby DS and was looking after SD when her mum turned up to pick her up. I was polite, said bye and as she was leaving my dad came to visit.
Older guy, looks like me, bit deaf. Didn't introduce them as too tired. thought nothing more of it until DH called later to say ExW had called him immediately. she left to tell him I was entertaining men while he was at work and described the dodgy bloke she'd seen arriving. Yup, it was my Dad!
She then went on to question DS's paternity and tell everyone we know I'd split up her happy marriage (I didn't, she did with her boyfriend) and that I was cheating on DH because she'd seen my Dad!

I ended up with PND. Oh, and she took out debt in DH's name. she is the ultimate CF!

Following to read through

A woman once bought a dress from a local shop, wore it to a function, then returned it to the shop for a refund. Unfortunately the shop owner had been at the same function!

@siiiiiiiiigh - yes, you win

I'm amazed at the bare face cheek of these people.

Boringly, I don't have anything interesting to add. Either I don't have any friends who take the proverbial or they know better than to ask because they know the answer will be no.

Everyone knows we don't smoke and the one friend we have who smoked (she has given up now) would never ask to smoke at our house.

TBH anyone who asked to smoke in our house would get a flat "no", and would be pointed in the direction of the garden.

Cheapskates make my blood boil because I haven't met a one yet who is actually poverty-stricken, skint or having a really bad patch.

I had a flat mate whose parents were Chinese and he would say how tight Chinese people are with money but that he wasn't.

We used to get a pizza to share and it was £9.99.

The firs time he gave me £5 and I answered the door and handed over £10, as far as I'm concerned 1p is not worth waiting for the change.

The next time he hands over a £5, I pay and then he asked me for the 1p as he had paid 'last time'.

So not CF but tight.

I have averted my own CF.

I'm disabled, I usually walk with a stick but also sometimes use a wheel chair.

I have Irish and Scottish ancestry so my skin can burn indoors through a window, I have never sunbathed.

I don't celebrate Xmas.

I don't like heights or rollercoasters.

All of this is relevant.

My carer is also a close friend and we have gone to visit his mother numerous times (he is now non contact) and I try to be a good guest.

Carer's mother remarried one Xmas and they had their honeymoon in Florida and now go most years for Xmas.

Since then, every time I have seen her, she has tried to get me to go to Florida with them, so that I can use my wheelchair and they can get to the front of the queue in amusement parks.

I would obviously have to pay for myself.

I've been told there is air-conditioning everywhere (not sure there is outside) and I was accused of lying about burning because I have been to South America and Australia - I have but both in our summer / their winter and both with factor 50.

I also don't think you can use the priority queue to get to the front and then say, "Oh no I'm not going on the ride, they are"

It's not just them either.

I live about 200 miles away from Carer's mum. Carer and I were at the same uni and friends before he took on the caring roll.

I had a 1 bed flat, carer/friend was in a sort of bedsit with shared bathroom and kitchen.

One of his brothers decided to visit bringing his girlfriend. Girlfriend decided they would be staying at mine. Oh and as they were visiting carer and not me I was not invited to the evening out.

So they wanted to kick me out of my own bed to give them somewhere to crash. Iwas not popular for saying 'no'.

Neighbours of ours, ages ago now. A teen dd had agreed to sell something for about £60 (far more to buy new) to their son of about the same age. She gave it to him, but the money was not forthcoming.

After a week or so she went round to ask for the money.

The mother basically said she wasn’t going to get it now, and that it was her own fault for being stupid enough to hand over the item without getting the money first!

In the end Dh had to go and have Words.

They are a seriously dodgy family anyway (in an expensive house with 3 Mercedes on the drive.)

Some of these are amazing. Mine are very mild.

Asked to be chief bridesmaid at friends’s big white wedding. She was a bit of a cheapskate and only ordered one wedding car. This was fine going to the church. It made 2 trips. Me and the 2 toddler bridesmaids then back for her and her Dad.

After ceremony there were tons of photos and guests made their way to the reception. Toddler girls off with their parents. Bride in wedding car with new DH. I had no lift. Nothing had been arranged for me to get to the reception ( miles away. ) I remember knocking on the wedding car window asking to get in with them and they said no! Ended up going to reception in the photographers van! My relationship with the bride never recovered from that.

Recently neighbours agreed to pay half the cost of the boundary fence. Then when it was finished came to say actually they weren’t t paying but were using the money to do the other side!

Small friendship group used to meet at mine regularly. I was the only one with my own place. Didn't mind though and a single mum so meant I could see them regularly and look after my child, they always wanted heating turned up, endless rounds of tea, I usually offered snacks. I got a bit fed up always being the host and would suggest we go out sometimes, I had parent willing to sit occasionally. They'd always make excuses, tired, work to catch up on, no money.... then I'd hear they'd been out without me or catch wind of plans but not get an invite. Used to hurt and still does. I backed off and stopped inviting round so much in the end. I hate cringy birthday messages etc... flashbacks referring to good times and photos of thier nights out. They try to say I wasn't interested as I had a child but its not true. Think it was more the fact I was wasn't interested in obsessing over / following thier crush around and befriending bouncers. I kinda have the last laugh though, turns out one of the bouncers was an older distant cousin of mine. He has some cringy stories to tell, I was able to recognise and verify some as my friends. They were not as cool as they thought they were

Nothing beats the Mexican house story. Probably second only to the penis beaker as an all time classic.

When my son was 17 he passed his driving test so I got him a car and don’t know why but it ended up registered in my name, when he wanted to sell said car to upgrade, a good (now ex) friend of mine wanted to buy it but wouldn’t have money for another week so me being me said I’d give the money to my son and she could pay me next week, she left mine with the car and the log book and I didn’t see her again for about 12 years, never got a penny back but did get 9 parking tickets in the post, thankfully I called the council and explained I’d sold the car but as I’d given birth a week before (yes there’s 18 years between my sons) and had baby brain they very kindly let me off the tickets, sadly I didn’t know her address as she’s recently moved.

Another CF, upstairs neighbour years ago brought my sofa off me for £50, she was going to pay me £10 a week, had nothing from her for about 3 months, I went upto her flat and asked for some money and she started shouting at me that she couldn’t afford to give me any money as it was nearly her sons birthday and she needed it for that, I never got paid for that.

I really should’ve got the money of people first shouldn’t I, I’m glad to say I’m not that gullible anymore

@tigerlilygrr

Oh thought of another one. Invited an old Uni friend to my wedding out of politeness as she had recently invited me to a party. She replied to say she would love to come and then said "I hear you haven't invited friend a, b, c or d so thought perhaps you might want to. Here are their email addresses. I haven't mentioned it to them so don't feel you have to." I hadn't even seen friends a, b,c and d in over ten years!

I don't understand why this makes the friend a CF? She didn't go behind your back and say something to these people or try to make you feel, in any way, like you had to! 🙄

@Dogswotsits

Two days after our mum died unexpectedly, my sister, her dp (not sure why she brought him) and me were clearing the kitchen - there was a curry microwave meal which he put to one side saying that he’d have that for his tea! I would have choked on it - and they took a selection box from the fridge that she bought for her grand daughter... Shameful

Seriously!? Sister brought her dp to help clear up and you're bitching because they took a curry microwave meal and a box of kids chocolates? Granted, it's not on for them to assume it was free to take but it's not like they took money, jewellery or the bl**dy TV!! 🙄

Bad mood Mummabug18?? 🙄

Glad this thread has popped up again. Some or the people around me can be a bit grim, but thankfully not a Mexican House Thief, Gooseberry Lady, evil MiL or SiL (they seem to be the worst) among them... Keep smiling... ;-)

*of. I meant to say of, not or. It was thinking about all the CFs that did it

I was 17 and did regular paid childminding (think 9-5 driving kids to groups, cooking meals etc) after YEARS of babysitting so was genuinely quite experienced.

I was doing a regular gig looking after FIVE wonderful kids 4 days a week and should’ve quit as parents were tight as and insisted on me doing stupid shit like filling in their kids autumnal notebook..

I get a call from a guy I don’t know saying his friend (the mean dad I childmind for) has said I’d be happy to go on holiday with his family (wife and several kids) and childmind for them. In Greece.

“Well, I’d normally need to know the family and kids before I’d agree to that but fine.. let me know what the day rate is.” “Nothing.. we assumed you coming on our holiday would be payment enough”. Incredibly offended when I said no.

I know this is an old thread , but had to share. When my grandfather's neighbour died ( a wonderful woman), my grandfather and uncle were clearing out her house for charity ( she sadly had no family ). An old man knocked on the door who they hadn't seen before and said he was a good friend and asked if he could pick something to remember her by ( which they thought was sweet). The man went into the living room and picked up the tv and walked out with it saying Thankyou on his way. My grandfather and uncle didn't say anything as he obviously needed / wanted it, and had a little giggle about it.

That is really cheeky! You have to admire his front!

Following so I can read with a brew 😁

I just spent several days reading this wonderfulness from page 1 to the end!
Over these past several days, my husband would randomly wander into the room to go thru to the kitchen and every time he would see me sitting with my mouth open at whatever CF post I was currently reading.
He finally asked me what was going on, so I related some of the wildest ones: Mexican vacation house thief, gooseberry old lady, etc. and a few of the seemingly hundreds of stories of CFs who wouldn't pay for meals, lodgings, childcare, rides, drinks, tickets, etc. etc.
I have a few incidents and they mostly involve family...... one of these days I will grab some wine and tell all.....

This thread has been excellent! I've also spent several days reading it.

For me, No 3 is gooseberry woman. The correct response to, "What do you expect me to do now?" would have been: "Get in your car and fuck off home and don't come back here to steal ever again! And I hope you crash into a wall."

Number 2 would be the drunk woman stealing the Marmite sandwiches from the baby. The response should have been a loud, "Hey! What are you doing? You're stealing my baby's food, you horrible woman - how dare you!" so that the entire plane would know.

Number 3 is obviously the Mexican house thief. The correct response would have been to wait till they were away, then after dark, pour paint stripper over his flash car and paint "Peeedo Scum!" on his house.

At our last house, we'd sometimes get our wheelie bin filled up, after it had been emptied. A couple of times, I just took them to the tip.

Then, I decided to go through the bags, the bin was so full that the lid wouldn't close. I found some letters, with "Andrew Smith, Number 16." We lived at number 8. I took photos of the rubbish and letters, then called the council and emailed the photos; they said they'd have a word.

I carried everything round to his front door, put it on the opposite of the hinge side and knocked.

"Andrew Smith?" I asked, "Er yeah, who are you?" "Oh, I've found something you lost," gesturing away from the rubbish. He came out to look and I hurled the first bag into his house. He shouted, "The fuck you doing?"

I said "Giving you all your fucking rubbish back, you cheeky cunt!" I got another one in, before he dived in and closed the door. He came to the window and shouted and swore at me and said he was ringing the Police. I ripped the bags open and dumped everything loose on his step and shoved some more through his letter box.

A while after that, I opened my roller shutter and a load of very big bin bags fell in. My bin was packed with them, so it bin mining and photo time again. This guy was a couple of doors up from the first one and including what was in the bin, there were 16! They were out, so I took them up to his back gate and fetched my step ladder.

I then climbed up with them, held them over his yard and cut the bags open and emptied the contents on the inside of his gate (terraced street). The bags were all marked "Sunderland Eye Infirmary - NHS Use Only." I rang them, gave them his name and address and offered to email the photos. I called the council and the lady said not to worry, that they'd send the sanitary team out to get rid of it, so I told her what I'd done.

She couldn't stop laughing, but said I shouldn't have done it.