Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?

[TastesLikePanda]

Inspired roughly by a couple of threads recently...
I used to have a friend (used to being the operative) who would come round to my house to smoke. Her reason being that she didn't want her house to smell like smoke and she didn't like smoking in the street as she thought it looked 'common' (her words)

The punchline being that I didn't smoke
That friendship ended when I saw the light and realised that she was using me! She was happy enough to make my house stink and I was too polite (at the time) to ask her not to as I thought I was being a welcoming host.

Has anyone encountered anyone with more brass neck than that?

I knew a guy who gave a lift every day to three work colleagues and they would split the petrol money each week; fair enough. However, he charged one of the guys extra as he said that as he was overweight he 'used more' petrol!

I'm still mortified at this 10 years later.
At work my team had a team bonding day in the main boardroom and we were told at the start of the day by HR who organised it that they were ordering us pizza for lunch. When we were given a lunch break most of us just went back to our desks, checked emails etc and the pizza came. Two pizzas were delivered to share between 30 ppl which I thought was starnge as obviously it wasn't enough food so I only took one slice and went back to my desk. (Should have realised only a couple of ppl getting pizza). Cue dagger looks from some colleagues around the office. Ten minutes later a manager came over and asked me to pay for the pizza as one of his workers had bought it himself for his team not HR! HR decided not to order pizza even after saying they would and somehow I was the only person who didn't know!? I was literally mortified that I just apparently helped myself to someone's lunch! I was too embarrassed to even go and say sorry or give him some money for it . I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me!

Eeeh this has been a great thread to read whilst not well!

Here's mine...

A friends sister was getting married and one of our friends had offered to dj at the reception. Anyway the day before my friend rings me to tell me that the dj had pulled out last minute as he had a paid gig!

Friend is furious but manages to get last minute dj (and pays). Anyway as a thank you to dj he had been invited to the full wedding so he'd have got his meal etc. Obviously he wouldn't be coming now tho...

The morning of the wedding dj updates his fb to say he can't wait to attend the wedding... erm what? So bride messages to say he's not welcome.

He still turned up to the bloody church service!!

My then bf now husband and I rocked up to the night do and who appears?? The bloody dj! Even tho he had said he couldn't dj as he had a paid gig! He proceeded to stay and get drunk and buggered off to said gig at 11pm half cut...

I still can't believe the nerve of him!

Another is a "friend" ego was always claiming woe is me, single mother and really played on it... "it's so hard as no one understands" "I can't ever go out" etc. One day she said she was skint and could i lend her 20 quid to buy food... I was a student but felt bad so leant her the money... later on she mentioned she was getting a takeaway for tea cheeky mare!

Another time she came to a bbq at my parents, brought vodka and coke just for herself and ate and drank everything else in sight! Dh (then bf) hadn't come along as he was really ill with a bug but I was supposed to be staying at his so he still insisted on coming to get me bless him. Anyway he lived in the opposite direction to cff and she got the hump that he wouldn't give her, her bf and son a lift home! She then slagged us off to my dad!

Same friend wanted to bring a random to our wedding "as I won't know anyone"-she knew loads of people! Any way i refused and she then got a "sickness bug" on the day of the wedding.. .

Ahh these have been fantastic and stressful to read.

Here's mine & It's Christmas related!

This happened 9 years ago but I still think about it!

I use to work in a Weather spoons full-time alongside studying. I was below 21 so at the time I was only entitled to 5.50 an hour. The rules are you're not allowed to accept any tips and management just spends the whole day with feet up, eating snacks watching CCTV.

It comes close to Chirstmas and boss tells us as incentive that anyone who works the Christmas days (Xmas eve, Xmas day and Boxing day). Can accept tips.

Great! So of course, working bloody hard for my 5.50 I'm excited at the prospect of tips and my family aren't particularly traditional at Xmas so I worked full days Xmas eve and Xmas day.

On Xmas day, boss announces that instead of accepting the tips individually, they will go into a tip jar and money will be spread out fairly so those who work in the kitchen will benefit. Okay, this is only fair I thought.

I collected 5 pound notes, a few 10 pounds notes, pound coins, 2 pounds. Our regular customers had been very happy to finally be able to tip and had really made the most of it!

At the end of xmas eve instead of splitting the money. The boss says tips will be collected through all 3 days and used to go towards a Xmas/NY party instead!!

(I wouldn't have worked xmas day if I had known this and it's not fair as the staff who haven't worked during these days still benefit).

Alarm bells should have rung as we have never had an Xmas/NY party before.

As you can guess- NY eve past and weeks afterwards, those who had worked on those days kept asking. I can't remember what they said, in the lines of we're organising it or phobbing us on to the next sub-manger. Months went past and someone let slip that 3 sub-managers split the tip jar between them!!!! Still gutted about it. I so regret not filing an official complaint or doing something!!

Great read, some seriously shocking ones! a few of mine to add, although mild compared to others;

Had 10yr old DS’s friend (whose mum I know on a hi/ hows things chat in the playground basis) over for a play, mum was 3 hours late for pick up.
Then mum rings me the next day to ask if I could have him for 2 WEEKS next month as she has a residential study trip and has nobody else to ask. She doesn’t have the dates yet as they haven’t been confirmed Hubby thinks she prob wants to take a holiday!

When we were living at my PIL I had cooked a meal in the morning for when we get back in the eve. When we got in there was less than a portion left.. SIL had been over, had eaten and taken some for the next day

Also at PIL I was given a bottle of champagne from work as a gift, I’d put it in the attic room and a few months later it was gone (don’t know for sure but assuming one of the SILs had taken it)!

SIL n family came over to ours at dinner time (as usual) then went on to declare that she fancied pizza for din, I said I’ve got one in the freezer I’ll pop it in the oven. Her response was oh I don’t really like frozen pizza I prefer it from the takeaway

My bil once moaned to me that he was annoyed about his df not bothering to spend any time with his dd, doesn't come and take her to the park etc. Dfil is full time carer for his disabled wife along with problems of his own. They also live 45 minutes away!

Also we were once on holiday with bil as well as my own db and families, his dd age 5 kept waking the other kids up in the mornings ( our dc 5 and 14 were on holiday and having late nights) but his dd had to be kept in her routine hence early morning wake ups but all sharing a room, dn14 told him to get up with her and take her downstairs as she was waking them up, his answer was "well we have to get up with her for the rest of year!" needless to say I told dn5 she must leave the room and go to mum and dad's if the other girls were asleep!
He's an entitled knob don't know how lovely sil puts up with him, we've just heard that his cheekyfuckery has extended to his other in laws and is currently not speaking to his fil even tho bil has just bought a holiday home next door to where they live in another country. I don't know the details but I know cfery will have been involved!

We had some 'friends' stay with us in our home for a week holiday (abroad).
When they arrived, they gifted us a bottle of whisky which we never opened - I offered several times but every time the consensus was for wine or whatever. (All food, drinks, etc. were provided by us)

Anyway we all had a lovely time and on the last day, they get into their car, we stand outside the house ready to wave them goodbye, when the husband quickly get out of the car and rush back past us, inside the house. We joke about him being in a rush, blabla, assuming he was going to the loo.
He comes back past us at a trot, as he climbs back into the car we see that he is holding the bottle of whisky, gives it to his wife to hold, and drives off!!!

I've killed this thread, haven't I?

I had a friend (who I don't ever invite over anymore) who would bring her kids over, stay all day and not watch her toddlers one bit. Says to me one day "I love coming to your place, I don't have to watch the kids and they can run wild and do whatever they want".... Ummm 😣

I just stumbled in here after a mention in another thread and have wasted so much time but couldn't drag myself away rofl. The Mexican house wins but a short mile but there are some right gob-smackers in here.

Many years ago I remember a newish friend asking if I fancied going swimming together with the kids. She went through the swimming baths entrance first and spent ages chatting away merrily to the attendant while I tried to keep track of my two kids and her three. Finally she moved on and I moved up to pay for me and mine to be told by the cashier my friend hadn't paid. Yeah I know I should have made that the cashier's problem not mine but I was taken aback and coughed up. Also the friend had a 'ditzy' way of forgetting things, I eventually realised how convenient the things she forgot were. We finished the swim and she suggested lunch at a pub near her home. I reckoned we could sort out the swimming cash when we paid for lunch. We finished lunch and she annouced that she'd forgotten her purse so could I get it this time. Before I could really answer she swooped up her kids and exited. I could give you a fair list of other incidents but they included a cake I baked for her being passed off as her own and her having the brass neck to let her husband offer me a piece without a thought, shopping done for her that I never got paid for, turning up at mine to feed the kids and bath them in the evening so they'd be nice and sleepy when she got them home.Yup, I was a total mug.

The last incident I remember didn't really involve me but left me gobsmacked all the same. Her hubby used to work away regularly and went he was home he would be quizzed as to whether he had 'pleasured himself in the shower' as in her opinion to do so would be unfaithful to her. I only knew this as she gave him the showdown in front of me. Meanwhile, she was shagging his best mate. No idea what the outcome of that was as I moved on...

ahhh I have a good one!

My ex who put me in hospital because he stabbed me repeatedly in the face with a fork when drunk, on purpose, amongst other similar incidents.. sent me a long email 4 years later when I was about to marry my husband.

The email basically detailed that it was incredibly insulting that he was not going to be best man at our wedding seeing as how he had known my husband the longest out of all his friends, and how I should put whatever differences we had had behind me and value the friendship he had had with my husband....

It was true he had been a childhood friend of my husband to be... it was also true that my husband had not spoken to him for 5 years since FINDING OUT HE STABBED ME IN THE FACE WITH A FUCKING FORK ON PURPOSE!

My whole family knew what hed done..... all our friends knew what he had done..... yet still he seemed to genuinely believe it was some sort of slight to not be best man at our wedding.... expected to be stood up there at the alter, me walking up the aisle with the giant scar on my face given to me by him STABBING ME IN THE FACE WITH AN ACTUAL FORK.... Im not joking, he thought this was a legitimate slight to him....

He wasnt even bloody invited. If hed turned up idve called the police.
He also emailed my husband to be... who replied detailing that we would call the police if we saw him any where near the event and not to contact either of us again.

I have just spend the last 3 days reading this whole thread... OMG!!!

.

Just spent 3 hours reading every post on this thread.
Nothing to add, except wow!!

I love this thread so I'm bumping it in case anyone has anything else to add.

I’m on holiday, and have read this thread over aweek! Bumping, for those who never saw it the first time round! Thanks for all your entertaining stories everyone, I hope everything has been on the up since...

I never realised how bad my friend was until I read these. She's on many occasions come around my house, sat on her ass and then expected me to feed, bath and look after her children, whilst she sits on her phone. She's the messiest person I have ever met and I can't deal with going to her house as on the odd occasion I have, I have had to cook our dinner or at least washed up and cleaned the kitchen so she can get it ready. She has left my house in a complete state when she brings her children over, but I would never do the same with my own kids. I know i'm a mug, but she's my oldest friend and has been very good to me, so I try to see it as her flaw and just arrange to go out somewhere with the kids rather than meet up at houses.

I also had a friend when I was around 20 who was CF as could be. She used to go around my friends house before work each day to use her expensive make up! She also used to invite herself over at meal times and always pleaded poverty. my friend was a single mum to a baby and she was working a decent paid job. She also was always getting free drinks, never paying rounds and would borrow clothes and never give them back, as she had 'lost them'. Luckily we cut her lose years ago.

This needs reviving...the Christmas CFs will be out in abundance by now!

I've only recently realised that a friend of mine is in fact a CF. I've known her for 7 years, invited her over to mine for BBQ/group dinners on numerous occasions over the years. I've been invited back twice in that time! Maybe she doesn't like me.. but here are other examples:

She was attending a wedding and asked a friend (Becky*) if she could stay at her friend Jean's parent's house on the night of the wedding because they live near the wedding venue- she's never met Jean! Then got Jean's parents to drive her to the wedding. She also told us that a taxi back was £40 so she shared one with someone else and gave them £10 contribution towards the taxi .

I might have posted about this before. So apologies If I have:

There's a regular lady selling The Big Issue in my town. I'd stop and chat and over time got quite friendly. She told me she had a 12month old ds but couldn't take him out as she didn't have a pushchair so he stayed in with her mum (the nan).

The next time I was in town I took a page from the Argos catalogue that had the same spare buggy I had in the shed. I showed her and asked if it would be any good. She said no but would I be able to buy one for her and then produced pages of a catalogue out of her pocket. She wanted me to buy some £500 trendy one. I told her I wouldn't even be able to afford that.

I stopped buying the Big Issue after that.

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I love this thread! May it long continue!

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i was bridesmaid at my friend (DFs) wedding. DFs Auntie (DFA) was a real CF. DF was having a child free wedding with no cousins (she has around 40 first cousins and they have around 20 children so it wasnt feasible at the venue chosen. this caused HUGE problems on its own but thats another thread). DFA heard about this ruling from DFs mum (her sister) and immediately rang DF. "Is my daughter and her partner invited as we need to book the hotel for them to stay over?". DF explained no, she cant invite one cousin out of 40. DFA then got very upset and explained that, as her other child had died suddenly, 10 years before, her daughter would never get to attend many weddings and was therefore the "special" cousin in the family and should be considered on the level of aunties/uncles and not cousins. DF was mortified and said yes she could come. DFA was immediately on the phone to her siblings, gloating to them that HER precious daughter was coming. Daughter (also a CF), showed up empty handed of course with no shame (shes in her 30s, not a child).

Also, DFA managed to shoehorn her way into the hen do. We hired a bar and had to pay a £200 deposit, paid back in bar tab. rather than ask each hen for money (and then work out how much each persons drink costs to get their share back) the 4 bridesmaids just paid £50 each and that was their bar tabs. They agreed no buying friends money and try to keep to your own £50. DFA found out and followed bridesmaids to the bar each time, asking them to go into rounds with her. She got one bridesmaid (DFs little sister, DFA's other niece) and told her to buy her a drink on the tab. DS said no, that wouldnt be fair, plus that would open it up to other bridesmaids doing it and the tab would be spent in seconds as one bridesmaid is a twat and only needed an excuse to drain the tab. DFA threw an absolute fit, shouted at DS that "what the hell am i supposed to do then? i always go in rounds. this is what you do on a night out - you wouldnt understand. this is what happens!!" DS (only young) stood her ground and refused. DFA stomped off, came back an hour later, took sister to one side and laughed about it, saying "dont know what came over me. Its because im thinking of deceased son and things still get to me" . DS was gracious, said it was ok and hotfooted it away from DFA.

DFA later that night kicked off because nobody wanted to go to mcdonalds with her and then cornered the bride and told her that her fiance was weird. She then cornered fiances mum (soon be be MIL of DF) and told her all about DFs sexual and relationship past.

In the morning DFA got her aunt and had stern words. DFA simply turned to the little sister and said "I cant believe you told her everything we spoke about in confidence". She had clearly forgotten been too pissed to realize who she had been talking to and thought it was the sister and not the bride or future MIL! She then half apologized to bride and said "i get upset at events because of deceased son". WHY SHOEHORN YOURSELF INTO THEM THEN?!

The whole wedding was a family disaster and has caused irreparable problems for my DF. All are now LC with DFA.

This has taken me days to read
Loved every minute of it