To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

I think my lifespan may have been increased a little because I have been laughing so hard since reading this thread last night and was rocking with laughter all the way in to work while catching up! Between this thread and another thread about reasons why MNers hate their bastard fecking pet dog/cat, I have had a great couple of days!
I still havent read full thread, did lemon drizzle face reveal herself? Surely there must be other parents from the school who have seen the Facebook posts who are also on this thread? Reveal yourselves and tell us what you think!!!

Yes I knew someone had said that they did rude cross stitch.

lol at willywillywilly in dripping icing.

Or a big willy a la 5th form.

I remember the most joyous moment of my school life was when I was carrying some equipment from one classroom to the other during lesson time, and for some reason decided to draw a great big 6 foot high willy (avec drips) on a glass door in F block. And then scampered away. It had a crowd and a miserable looking caretkaer scrubbing it next time I looked.

I was a complete SQUARE at school and nobody would have thought I would do such a thing. I loved it.

How childish I am.

The sale is this afternoon, SPB.

I have a Blackberry MrsDV but I can't seem to upload from it onto the internet. I am not very tech savvy.I don't even know why I've got the thing tbh :(

Plus, the head was in there admiring all of the offerings so I couldn't have done it earlier!

My school isn't really a "Mumsnetty" school IYSWIM? There is no Boden to be seen anywhere, lots of onesies and FUggs though. It's more of a Nethuns type place.

Speednobs they are called (when you draw a nob on a surface in a restricted area) There is a technique to the speednob which enables you to draw the glans in the least amount of time. If you are daring, you may add driplets of Harry Monk and a line on the bellend to make it more realistic. Extra points for hair on bollocks.

OP, will you give away your cornflake cake recipe or is it a family secret? I made some recently but they were way too sticky, not how I remember them from my childhood at all. I want to make some easter nests too!

Oh this gets better and better!

The addition of Headlouse Lover was splendiferous!

Speednob explained

lol at speednobs.

This was a big willy with a a glans and a bellend line, with no hair on the bollocks though, and some drips (which looked more like Pierrot tears tbh).

We would have been great friends at school marm. Apart from the Kurt Cobain debacle.

I have just roared at that speedknob link

I hate speednobs - they gie me the boak. I am relaxed about other vulgar graffiti, but not that

Cornflake cake recipe is thus:

1. melt some chocolate in a bowl which is sat on a pan above some simmering water.

1. When it has all melted, stir in cornflakes until they are all coated with choclate.

1. Spoon into cases.

It is tricky but perfection comes with practice

I will gladly donate £50 if you draw a great big cock on the LDC replete with ejaculate. The addition of chocolate strand pubes would be most welcome. Even better if you can get it on the trestle table before anyone notices ("Mummy, what's that on that cake?"). Wrong I know but I'm cold and bored, this thread had made my day!

Mwahaha at speednob! The difference between the first four and the last 1 or 2 (last one looks like a photo, or i am very impressed) is so huge ::snigger:: it really made me laugh.

This fred must never end!

Arseparts, cack, cake punching, random pleas for lousy kids!!

MORE! I need more! Punch the cack!

There's nothing vulgar about drawing massive cocks on available surfaces - it's Anglo-Saxon folk art at its finest, doncha know.

Im just really hoping the woman concerned doesnt read this thread.
I can tell you - playground revealing of mumsnet names is NOT NICE

Marmelade - could you email the picture from your blackberry to your home email account, and then upload it from there?

That random headlice post is on other threads as well. Novel type of Easter Egg I suppose.....

OP I would really warn you about your very identifiable thread.

#oncebitten

Honestly, I have tried several times to send pcitures from my 'phone to Facebook/Twatter/email and it just can't be done. DH says I was supposed to to download some software or another to it but I don't know what he's one about.

Even worse, now I've switched to GiffGaff, I can't get ANY internet access on it at ALL. I could at least get on to FB/email before...

NinaNannar, do I know you? Are you LDM?

Omg has anyone actually looked up willy cakes on google images? Some impressive lifelike ones there

I may be busy this afternoon...

NinaNaNNar - are YOU LDM??? its a fucking cake, a CAKE!!!!

Child with headlice request is even more plonked on the end of the thread about helping out people short of food. So many images conjured up. Oliver Twist