To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

I have just found some headlice in MY hair. Can I go to London?

What happened to you, Nina?

If the cake sale isn't until this afternoon, you do realise you still have time to bake Marslady's amazing Lemon Drizzle cake and out-do Fat-arse on both the Cornflake cakes and her "speciality" right?

Please, please, please! Make an amazing, non-sweaty LDC and sit it right next to hers!

I picked up min cream eggs to decorate our cornflake cakes with this morning. They're going to be awesome

The real knob on your speedknob link has disease

make a cock shaped LDC

I am properly crying with laughter at this brilliant, brilliant thread.

Oh yes!!! Twatters go and make a really kick-arse LDC worthy of Mary Berry and replete with Easter Eggs (of a non-louse variety). I wonder if we've got time to hire a mini bus and attend the cake sale?

This is atrocious

Why would anyone want to make, much less EAT, a penis cake? They're fucking ugly in the flesh. I would be devastated if my friends presented me with these. I imagine they are for hen parties? Well it's time to get some new mates if this is what they pull out of the bag. Ick.

Confused

I can't do lemon drizzle. I wouldn't even try! It is not my forte. Unless I can buy a boxed mixture and pass it off as my own?

Yes that real knob looks pox-ridden, to say the least.

Like one of the URRRRRGH willies that they show you in sex ed classes.

I would love to try making them marmalade don't think I could eat them but would have a right giggle making them!

Maybe I'm just immature

Oh my GOD.

One of those willy cakes was looking RIGHT AT ME with its eye.

the 'punch the cake' comment properly finished me.

Although I will reprimand you OP for the fat thighs comment which was a bit mean.

You can, its the easist cake in the world to make - flour, eggs, sugar, margarine (Butter too hard this weather) lemon rind (I wonder if LDM uses unwaxed lemons - INSPIRATION "Did you use unwaxed lemons to make that, only i find that the wax gives me gut ache" should go down well) Chuck it all in together, mix, bung in dish, chuck in oven til cooked, use lemon juice mixed with icing sugar for he sweaty effect - sorted.

I can't, I can't. I tried to make one once and it was just a sour, soggy mess.

A bit like LDM, badum-tish!

I managed to read this whole thread without snorting - right up to "punch the cake" - I am broken!

I am howling..what was with the random nit request? Cake punching? Is that akin to a 'run by fruiting?'

You tube needs a video of Marmalade drawing a big willy on LDC's cake

You realise, you'd probably make more money from cake punching than cake selling right?

NinaNannar is a MNer who previously got outed in RL, it all went very nasty and tits-up, and now is doomed to sail the seas of MN changing name repeatedly, never able to settle into a single identity. But I'm not saying who.

It would make a great item for the next school Newsletter:

"Marmelade made nearly £100 for the school cake sale, partly from her delicious chocolate cornflake cakes, but mainly by drawing - ahem - male genitalia on another cake, and then punching it - for which she raised £80 from the wonderful members of Mumsnet."

Oh no! That's like a MN version of a scary, campfire story.

Poor Nina you are a tragic cautionary tale

I hope it has all been forgotten in RL now.

Hahaha STDG

It must be bloody horrible to be outed.

.."parents are reminded that drawing genetalia on other peoples cakes in the playground is not acceptable and are asked to refrain from doing so in the future"

bother..x post