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Original poster

What's the most barking thing you've witnessed at a mum's group?

489 replies

Berts · 30/01/2013 12:19

Not just the usual competitive, Stepford Mommies rubbish, but real 'back away now, slowly' stuff.

Mine was when one of the babies, ten months old fell over and banged his head. His mum picked him up to give him a cuddle (of course) but, when he didn't stop crying pretty quickly she stands him on her lap, looks him in the eye and starts barking: "Man up! Come on, Man up!"

Barking being the operative word...

OP posts:
PoppyAmex · 01/02/2013 15:41

Love turtle boy and freaked out at that clip!

To get your mind off it just check out my FAVOURITE youtube clip ever (also keeping with the turtle theme Grin

januaryjojo · 01/02/2013 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sheepflower · 01/02/2013 16:09

Sounds tame compared to the others on this thread but where I used to go there were a couple who always went together and were very 'coupley'. They had loads of 'in' jokes between them. An example is they had a thing about wearing nappies on their heads in different ways and pretending to be different people. Actually it sounds funny now but it was a bit creepy.

AmandinePoulain · 01/02/2013 16:15

That poor baby in that clip Shock, it was clearly distressed and I can't believe that the parent let her continue Shock, I couldn't watch Sad

coughingbean · 01/02/2013 16:30

baby yoga made me abit sick in my mouthSad
I DO like turtles though

cocolepew · 01/02/2013 16:33

Burkha woman and congoing vicar has just about finished me off Grin

Clayhead · 01/02/2013 16:42

I still want to know what happened at weegiemum's class when someone got arrested!!

mmmerangue · 01/02/2013 16:45

Sorry if I dragged everyone off topic a bit with the mental baby-flinging...

So panpipes, yea, I'm going to get me some of them. You only live once!

Juanca · 01/02/2013 16:53

I have panpipes, my eccentric dad gave me some for Christmas. They're very difficult to get a sound out of, so big respect to nudey panpipe lady, contending with the triple-whammy of a difficult instrument performing in the buff, and at a moment's notice.

oldraver · 01/02/2013 17:00

I used to help run a toddler group and one day a lovely but slightly mad woman turned up with Cellotape across her fringe. It was one of those things were you just couldn't take your eyes off of it, we wern't sure if we should mention the Cellotape...as in maybe she had forgotten to take it off, but realised if she meant it to still be there we didnt want to make an issue of it.

As people spotted the fringe you could see the nudges go around. All these years later I would love to know why

ThreadPirateFanjoBeard · 01/02/2013 17:03

OMG I can't believe that you think I was BU to play panpipes to DS. It was the only thing that soothed him and really, a bit of nakedness is nothing to be ashamed about. Can't believe you are calling me a panpipe playing elf. Sad

UterusUterusGhali · 01/02/2013 17:11

Please do a winking smiley, pirate...

Dillydollydaydream · 01/02/2013 17:13

That baby yoga YouTube clip is Shock

MarthasHarbour · 01/02/2013 17:14

Shock that poor baby! I couldn't watch... Sad

ThreadPirateFanjoBeard · 01/02/2013 17:15

Sorry, couldn't resist! Good god, if I was to play panpipes in the nude, I would be arrested for GBH of the vision. Grin

CruCru · 01/02/2013 17:15

Hmmmmm. I did meet an Australian mum of twins (big respect) who spent the whole time cutting the kids' fingernails. It's odd but perhaps not quite batshit crazy.

HoratiaWinwood · 01/02/2013 17:23

Fringe tape is so she could cut it herself - you tape it so it stays still, then cut it straight across in a mirror.

Disclaimer: I have not tried this but it is a well known tip.

I imagine she got sidetracked by DCs partway through the job. No doubt she got home, saw the scissors on the side, touched her fringe and wailed "but why didn't anybody tell me". You bastards Grin

Loving this thread.

NeverQuiteSure · 01/02/2013 17:50

2 days into this thread and it's burka last who's still making me snort at random moments.

That and richardsimmonstanktop's brilliant response
I'd quite like a friend like Burkha lady to mix things up a bit, keep me on my toes. You'd always be waiting for a clown or a uniformed maintenance man to sidle up to you and go 'hey - it's me!'

RapunzelLetDownYourHair · 01/02/2013 17:51

ThreadPirate; GBH of the vision...

RapunzelLetDownYourHair · 01/02/2013 17:52

I once went to a playgroup with two totally different shoes on. Like, a Nike trainer one on and ballet pump on the other. It MUST have been DS' doing somehow.

RapunzelLetDownYourHair · 01/02/2013 17:55

HOW COULD I FORGET. Lady trying to spoon feed her DS (around 10/11mo) formula from a pyrex jug. I dunno whether this is batshit or inspired.

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch · 01/02/2013 18:02

Playing in a sandpit aged about 3 ds1 was happily pretending to dig with an imaginary spade. Another little lad who ds often played with came over and suddenly started screaming at ds. His mother and I both ran over to see what the problem was.

The other boy was screaming that ds wouldn't share. Ds was desperately saying that he was just pretending and he couldn't share, at which point to his mum's mortification the boy started having a full blown tantrum.

Thinking fast I told ds to pretend to give the boy a spade. The boy seemed to like that idea so ds dutifully pretended to hand him his spade.

Instead of that solving things he screamed and screamed and screamed, when his mum asked what was wrong and reassured him he had the spade now, he shouted, "DS1 GAVE ME THE SMALL ONE!"

How do you argue with that level of insecurity?

Wallace · 01/02/2013 18:14

That is fantastic Grin

NorksAreMessy · 01/02/2013 18:26

I am sure MNHQ are feeling bombarded, but I have added in my plea for this thread to be elevated to classics

And Flowers to berts and all you brilliant vipers :)

UterusUterusGhali · 01/02/2013 18:40

Actually roaring with laughter at that , crunchy.

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