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Original poster

What's the most barking thing you've witnessed at a mum's group?

489 replies

Berts · 30/01/2013 12:19

Not just the usual competitive, Stepford Mommies rubbish, but real 'back away now, slowly' stuff.

Mine was when one of the babies, ten months old fell over and banged his head. His mum picked him up to give him a cuddle (of course) but, when he didn't stop crying pretty quickly she stands him on her lap, looks him in the eye and starts barking: "Man up! Come on, Man up!"

Barking being the operative word...

OP posts:
lolaflores · 01/02/2013 11:26

Attending a baby group with a year old DD. In strides a very loud woman with wriggly year old under arm declaiming to all there n

"Here, my * only just ate the poo in his nappy. Anyone give me a wet wipe".

Thunder of women out the door. Tumble weed round woman and poo gourmand

OTheHugeManatee · 01/02/2013 11:46

I'm Grin at the woman chasing her toddler round soft play with a yogurt.

PearlyWhites · 01/02/2013 12:04

Turtle boy is still the winner , I was crying with laughter Dh wondered what was wrong.

mmmerangue · 01/02/2013 12:08

I left my mums and toddlers group the day I heard two of the women bitching about the only person there who had ever bothered to be nice to me (she having left not long after I joined because of the bitchiness).

Its a small town and somehow got around that the NICE woman was going through interviews to possibly be a surrogate mum for someone who was infertile. One of the BITCH mums (actually was an aunt and a childminder conversing but basically everyone who went there was just as bad) said 'It's fine they'll never let her, she's batshit crazy'. Zero empathy for anyone who might be going through either end of such a very private situation, and a complete lie to boot. I could not believe some of the gossip that got spread around that room but that was the last straw.

I left pretty much glad noone else had ever been nice to me as I may have accidentally thought they were my friends and told them my own secrets to get spread around in Chinese whispers.

perfectstorm · 01/02/2013 12:19

Bupcakes the proffered boob was probably the most hygienic lunch option at that woman's house. I'm just - Shock at the used condom lying about.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

RibenaFiend · 01/02/2013 12:24

MockingBirds I am absolutely getting a panpipes necklace! I shall play it gleefully at my class of horrors when they decide they are going to express themselves!

Doingthedo · 01/02/2013 12:34

a young dad used to bring his DS to my local toddler group, he regularly went up behind his son, grabbed him by the leg and dangled him in the air, laughing - cue all other adults holding breath! the boy has turned into a complete ruffian and now age 3 runs up behind babies/toddlers and rugby tackles them to the floor/sits on the them/pushes them over - all learnt from his dear father...

CruCru · 01/02/2013 12:36

This is a nice, fun thread. I'm sure I've seen some north London craziness; I'll have a think.

poozlepants · 01/02/2013 13:34

We had a bfing group in the local church hall which was great apart from one of the HV who had to run it hated bfing and babies. There was a lovely Russian girl and when the babies were about 9 months one of the other Mums and I turned round to see her literally chuck her son about 12 foot into the air where he performed a perfect somersault and then she caught him. Turns out she had been doing this since he was little - she said that it was a Russian thing. I had missed out the explanation I just thought she had gone totally mental and had hurled her son into the air. I think I swore really loudly and the other Mum went white as a sheet.

mmmerangue · 01/02/2013 13:44

poozle Like this ??

VisualiseAHorse · 01/02/2013 13:50

poolze - sounds like Russian Baby Yoga.

Buzzardbird · 01/02/2013 13:53

I can recommend naked accordion playing, it gets rid of the pubey black hairs from round your norks.

Buzzardbird · 01/02/2013 13:56

OMFG mmm that link is horrific! Shock

ohdobuckup · 01/02/2013 13:57

My god this thread s a classic, have had to clean me keyboard a few times...there's enough material here to write an award winning series!

NeverQuiteSure · 01/02/2013 13:57

Just watched half of mmmerangue's link Shock

Didn't make it all the way though. Feel like I need a stiff drink now.

mmmerangue · 01/02/2013 14:06

Horrific is right. Saw it first on Russell Howards Good News (even he didn't take it too lightheartedly) absolutely mental.

januaryjojo · 01/02/2013 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbwitch · 01/02/2013 14:20

Oh God, I couldn't watch all that link either - I just kept thinking "that baby's shoulder is going to dislocate!" Arrrgh - that's terrible. Poor thing.

Thumbwitch · 01/02/2013 14:22

january, I don't think it was a doll in the first bit either...

JollyRedGiant · 01/02/2013 14:24

Oh my god! That was utterly mental. The baby was crying! Why on earth didn't she stop when the baby cried!?

Original poster
Berts · 01/02/2013 14:35

As OP, I'm happy with this being moved to Classics, if anyone knows how it's done?

OP posts:
Poledra · 01/02/2013 14:41

Berts, report your own post and ask for the thread to be put before the Committee for Nomination to Classics:-)

Birthhippy9 · 01/02/2013 14:42

Dear God I am almost crying myself after watching that woman spin the crying baby about.

Juanca · 01/02/2013 14:48

Jesus, that baby yoga is extreme! Chucking a screaming baby into the air?! WTF.

peachypips · 01/02/2013 15:28

Am sick at the sight of the baby yoga!